Dh in mood as I said I may get mcdonalds for my dinner he said its selfish

Honestly his behaviour is ridiculous. Can he not rustle himself up an omelette or some pasta? Quick and easy dishes.

I don't think there is anything wrong in what you did. The whole point of McDonald's was a drive to get the baby to nap, it wasn't like you planned a meal out and excluded him.

You're sat there eating grapes, a bit like the OPs husband, except his are sour 😭

Why isn't this FATHER taking over from his frazzled wife and driving baby around himself?

Oh dear, you are both probably short of sleep. Enjoy your McD's.

It wouldn’t even occur to me that this could be an issue op! He’s being weird about it

I often sort my or dinner and then come home and when husband asks what’s for dinner I’m like oh I’m fine thanks I don’t need anything - then he just makes himself something - what’s the big deal about

Often what people say, tells you more about them, than anyone else,

in this case
“don’t treat me like a child”

Is it childish to eat McDonald’s? Or to cook your own dinner? Or to need an adult to point out the obvious?

New babies are hard op, and they are like a bomb in the best of marriages. Perhaps the kindest interpretation is that he’s struggling a bit to adjust to this version of adulting? I don’t think anyone is ever ready for the reality of a baby btw.

Is he getting his turn at broken nights? Sleep deprivation needs to be experienced to be understood and even if you can shoulder most of that burden on mat leave, it’s better for everyone if gets some direct appreciation of what’s involved.

I’m jealous as I’m sat here eating some grapes 😂

I get the feeling your husband is weirdly jealous of your mat leave. He’s annoyed he just can’t leave his desk when he wants to be able to go for a drive, get a snack etc.

He’s taking his frustrations out on you. And trying to make you feel guilty. I’m sorry but he sounds like a complete arse. Can he get a bit funny about other stuff too?

Such a non event 🙄

Nobody said they wouldn't eat something their partner didn't want, but rather that they'd be thinking in the plural not the singular about dinner and the suggestion would have automatically been for everyone (doesn't mean that if other family members didn't want what was suggested they wouldn't have it anyway, but that the initial thought and offer would be about the family not just one person).

I am wondering if Mumsnet has been invaded by a small contingent of Stepford Wives.
OP, enjoy your McDonald's. What are you having?

fgs, can't believe he's doubling down on this. What an absolute baby

The McDonald's is fine for both of you but I wouldn't be trying to get a baby to sleep at this time in the afternoon. Too close to bedtime.

I would, and OP did?!! McDonalds literally popped into her head after she had initially planned to just go to Starbucks, and her husband got the arse with her instantly, before she'd even had a chance to offer him anything?!

But also, no I don't have much sympathy for a man behaving like this while a woman is trying to manage a tired baby and having a difficult day. He is at complete liberty to spend his lunch break however he likes, he could get whatever he wants, or he could have just said to OP 'oh cool, will you grab me X as well please?' instead of having a tantrum.

It seems like he is used to OP sorting his lunch for him, which makes it even worse that she is not even allowed one day off from that! And if she doesn't usually sort it for him then what is the issue??

Exactly this!!!

This is normal and healthy!!

I can’t believe there are people who don’t eat what they want because their partners want something different.

Why does the partner get to decide.
Why do they have to have the same thing.

If you want to eat something then eat it FFS.
All these grown adults having to ask permission or not getting what they want is ridiculous.

Honestly, he is being silly. Why shouldn't you get takeout when you are tired and dealing with a crying baby, and why isn't is good enough for him. Did his arms and legs fall off making him unable to fend for himself?
if this is a one off then he is possibly tired and not being rational- you are not treating him like a child but he is behaving like one. But you are definitely not being unreasonable.

You are very very unreasonable for ever wanting a McDonald’s!!

Ok fine, just kidding.

this is what I was trying to say 😂.

Adults automatically think about "our" in a household that usually eats dinner together.

So if you were driving past McDonalds or somewhere and really wanted some, you couldn’t if your DH didn’t want any?

It makes sense to eat the same thing as it saves 2 people cooking but surely you don’t always have to eat the exact same meal every single day.

OP wanted McDonald’s.
That is allowed.
DH was also allowed to say he wanted some too or decide he’d rather have something different.

He was annoyed that she wouldn’t cook his dinner for him.
He is a grown man and can sort himself out like she said.

You could drive around in your car and when the baby finally sleeps, you could fix your hair and nails and put on a pretty dress and some high heels.

That way, you'd look nice while you made your husband's meal. 😂

I think MN has bus loads of weirdos trolling everywhere atm.

Also, 99% of the time I will say to my wife - do you fancy ‘such and such’ and that is leaving the question open to a ‘no’ and then we’d negotiate, very occasionally I will just think I really want a ‘McDonald’s’ and I will just say, I’m going to have McDonald’s tonight, as it’s not a negotiation, I’m having it, she can have it too if she wants it, but if not that isn’t changing what I’m having. I get to make a decision for myself and if she doesn’t want that then she can sort something else out

This, plus that sort of selfish person as well as just cooking for themselves if they're providing the food, it will always be something basic low effort or a takeaway.

Not once will they make chilli with the mince and peppers that need using, make fresh guacamole and run to the shop for tortilla chips like the person who does 95%+ of the household cooking. No, if they actually cater for everyone, it will be the lowest effort possible. Infuriating.

Hi OP. Fellow grown woman here 👋

I also sometimes just go for a drive thru McDonalds for dinner.

Your husband is a weirdo.