Dh in mood as I said I may get mcdonalds for my dinner he said its selfish

Spot on.

I 💯 agree with your mum, he’s being a wanker. If you had gone to McDonalds and NOT offered to get him anything he would still be the wanker in this scenario. Going to work is a vacation compared to childcare at this age. In fact if he’s not walking in the door after work carrying supper for you at least once a week and immediately taking the baby off you for a solid hour EVERY day for you to spend by yourself he is a twat of massive proportions and please don’t have any more children with him.

God, I think my own DH is a twat if he asks me what’s for supper too many times in a row as if it’s somehow my job to decide 😂

His punishment of you by eating the babys food is highly abusive and controlling.

I consider it extremely sinister behaviour and a huge red flag.

I've not read all of the posts but for those saying OP should have offered to get hubby food, couldn't it be swung the other way that he could have offered to take the baby out in the first place?

Yet he made it into such a big meal deal.

A Pity McDonald's 😆 that's a new invention! He's a drama queen & needs to stop picking a fight over nothing. Glad you enjoyed don't let him stop you enjoying treats 😁 xx

Extraordinary tantrum - strange behaviour from a supposed adult and not a good example for a child if repeated when your infant is older. I wouldn’t have much respect for a person who acted this way. You say he’s not usually like this - you mean pre your maternity leave?

It may be that he now sees you as subservient to him and a housemaid while he is working and you’re not. Needless to say maternity leave is to take care of the child, not daddy. Perhaps he’s got a little used to you catering to him. Perhaps he resents what he sees as your freedom to go out and eat instead of staying home. Maybe he’s just a misogynist which is starting to show now you’re not working.

Look after yourself.

Exactly this, well said Wrongthinker.

So cross on your behalf, OP, please don't let this slide. He needs to realise he has to step up now he has a child, not sulk when his wifebot fails to meet his every need. 💐

You need to go in hard on this.

A "Grown man" who apparently cant cook himself something?

I agree that it was definitely to punish you, as evidenced by his reaction when you called him out on it. Keep an eye on this, he has relegated you to an appliance and today you reminded him that you are not in fact a white good, there to provide food and childcare and sex.

I suspect that going in hard with your utter disgust and anger will be the only way you will get the message across.....that and going out for dinner every night for the next two weeks without him and the baby.

If you would get mad about your wife who has been looking after your baby non-stop all day fancying getting a McDonalds while she took the kid for a drive to finally get them to nap, and then offering to get you one, you're just as pathetic and insane as the tosser she's married to.

That took a turn. That’s so sad and it’s psychological/emotional abuse. He’s trying to control you by punishing you.

it’s very childish.

Did you get the mini eggs mcflurry me and partner are eating one now the kids are in bed its bloody gorgeous

Your mother has the measure of him.
Well done for telling her.

Imagine eating your babys special made food.

He's like a lot of man child men that simply cannot cope with being displaced by a baby in priorities.

He is a sad little man.

Get back to work and keep your family and friends close.

When you marry a loser, you really need them.

Sorry to de-rail the thread but please can I have the recipe or a link as your apple and cinnamon pastries sound delicious!!! (Shamefully hangs head......)

I completely agree.

This wasn’t just a normal argument that all couples have, this was vindictive, punishing behaviour that he escalated and carried on.

I am not one to usually be over dramatic but there is something very nasty and spiteful underlying and I can imagine that OP is going to see more of this behaviour.

You’re insane 😂

If it was the other way around, you’d be furious! If you’re too tired to cook (and I don’t blame you) you either ask if he can cook or you suggest getting you both a take away, not just one of you. If he acted the way you did, they’d be an uproar.

Two babies you've got there, OP. (I'd love to hear his explanation of how you're "treating him like a child" by asking him to, er, act like an adult, by feeding himself). "Nor prepared for this"? Like the place was on fucking fire or something? Give me strength.

If you don't make sure he makes a proper, balanced dinner for you both tomorrow, you're a doormat. Personally I'd make him re-bake the baby treats. You do anything for yourself, ask him to do anything for himself, or stand up to him in any way, and he punishes not only you but your child? Literally taking the baby's food? Make it very, very clear that this is totally unacceptable and must NEVER happen again.

This thread is insane. Half of it’s been deleted

Just read your updates, OP. What an absolutely pathetic excuse for a man he is. His petty “retaliation” and being seemingly incapable of making his own dinner would give me the instant ick.

You have done nothing wrong, and I hope you’re okay.

OP you need to go in guns blazing. No conversation, no back and forth. Tell him his behaviour is fucking childish and unacceptable and deeply unattractive. Tell him he needs to sort himself out, and that it has to happen immediately. Tell him if he ever acts this way again, the marriage is over.

And mean it.

If he gets away with it this time, that just encourages him to do similar things in future, because he thinks he's found a way to control and punish you. Let him know in no uncertain terms that this is the last time he ever gets to do this to you. Next time, it's over.

I don't know if I'd go as far as asking him to spend the night elsewhere but I agree that OP should come down HARD on this behaviour. It's absolutely NOT acceptable.

And he needs to remake the baby's snacks tonight. Yes including buying the pastry if there is none in the freezer.

Yes it’s worrying. Starting to sound like he’s getting irritated that you are not sufficiently servicing his childish needs and he’s punishing you for putting baby and your own sanity before him. He should be supporting you, not acting up. Don’t let him get away with it. Seems your mum might be on to something.

That is a really nasty, spiteful thing to do. He threw a tanty for some absolutely bizarre reason, (a "pity" McDonalds? He cannot be for real) and then ate everything you made for your baby on purpose?

I'm willing to believe he's ok most of the time, but what a selfish, spiteful, hateful thing to do to "get back" at you for a completely imagined slight.

I agree with others. This is something to make a big deal of.

I mean, there is that.

I'm sorry OP. He's made no sense whatsoever, he stropped because you were getting McDonalds and that's not fair but he refused you bringing him some, he stropped because the Poor Little Grown Man wouldn't have time to make himself dinner (if only there were easy and quick meals that a grown man could make himself like beans on toast, or an offer of a take-away meal being hand delivered by his dedicated wife...), and then he has the audacity to not only eat all of your baby's handmade food, but to Perform a Complaint about how awful it is that a Grown Up Manbaby should be driven to such lengths as to eat pastries for dinner.

I sincerely hope that the Grown Up Man Baby is busy with work tonight because I sure as shit wouldn't want to be spending any quality time with him.