To find middle class parents insufferable?

I definitely judge parents who smoke in the presence of their children or at the school gates 😂 doesn’t everyone really? It’s a very poor choice to make isn’t it. There is no positive to it whatsoever, literally none. I’m not sure you can say that about many other things to be honest, so I feel it’s something ok to judge someone on! Re the schools being crap, if they’re not then I’d just not and smile and let them crack on with their lives.
Maybe they will move soon and you will have more of a community that you get along with 🩷

We hopefully all do what’s best for our children. Some don’t have those choices and are just glad to be living in a safe place so we should all strive to make wherever we live safe and maybe remember that some have to try harder than others.

Do you think parents who pick better areas so their kids achieve more are bad parents but people like you ok to give the kids their bare minimum are bad people ? Okkkkk
I moved nation and I thin the uk to give my kid a better area and opportunity to start school later with smaller classes and not near council estates with a ton of social issues . I must be awful in your eyes

Almost everyone in the UK is on some hierarchical middle class projectory these days and anyone who isn’t is either an asylum seeker who soon will be or implicitly a ‘benefit scrounger’ working their arses off to be and might soon be too. Then the middle lowers who have struggled up from the lower middles ( in danger of getting muddled) can look down upon someone.

YANBU

I’m in Scotland and although I’m a highly qualified professional we don’t live in a particularly posh area though it’s nice enough. A lot of people of my acquaintance drone on endlessly about house prices and
schools. Bores the arse off me, so dull. Anyway we’re about to become mortgage free and my children have done amazingly at school so I guess I’ve had the last laugh ;)

Sorry are you saying you aren’t allowed to chat about your holiday to other people? How are you ever going to decide if you want to visit somewhere unless you hear about it from others. It isn’t showing off, it’s just general small talk chit chat. We had less children so we could spend the money on holidays for the family so I’m not going to apologise in chatting about it to other people and I’m happy to listen to other people as well about theirs. We booked one trip based on the experience of another mum.

I cantdisagree with that Hence why I live in a 2bed flat where I do rather than 3/4 bed house in the next town. But I'm not rich, or have a fancy job. Just was a working single parent.

The area you bring your kids up in and what school they go to, will have a huge influence on them
Maybe just as much influence as you will have on them

As would most parents and quite right too.

We do the best for our children, snobbery doesn't enter into it.

Most benefit claimants don’t work. So they’re not ‘low earners’, they’re not earning at all.

Sounds revolting. Not sure we knew anyone like that. Why on earth would anyone do that?

You know when most people don't pay taxes which reflect the services the receive from government - and in fact most people's children won't pay for the services they receive - I don't feel bad about middle class people subsidising lower earners, I'm pleased they do.

Some day we in the UK will end up with police being bribed private gated estates etc but that's the way of the world. The people who believe in law and order will be on the private gated estates and the people who don't will not, judge where you want to be.

Exactly this.

How things have changed! Burgeoning middle classes are very different now from the 70s and 80s. I know middle class kids from that time who were perpetually lice ridden as their parents disagreed with using chemicals - probably smoked the odd homegrown spliff.

It depends entirely on what life stage you meet at and what you do for a living and other variables. I’m in my 50s, so school is a distant memory, plus I’ve spent most of my adult life living outside my home country, so hardly any of my friends would have reason to know. I Lots of my closest friends date from my undergraduate and postgrad days, so obviously we all know where we studied, and I’m an academic so my colleagues could know where my degrees are from via my departmental research page, or at least my doctorate and post-doc work. Outside of that, only if it comes up in talk, they went to a terrible reunion, or they keep stacks of their alumnus magazine in the downstairs loo.

Nothing wrong with having standards and there's no prize for putting up with a shitty school in a bad area if you can actually afford to live in a better area.

However I do laugh in the face of try hard snobs who clearly have ideas above their station and don't actually have the means or wherewithal to move to the better areas.

I hate , class hate

I am not a snob if i moan about drug dealers in my posh area - i want them to fuck off they are dragging the area down

i like that my kids school is middle class church school, some are very monied and chat about skiing and centre parks at easter like it was an ordinary thing to be doing

( not for me sadly, no money ) but i’d rather that was the chat than whose partner has been arrested again or parents yelling at each other in the playground ( I've worked in schools were this was the norm)

i like being mc in a mc area - its nicer than were i lived before and my kids life is way more privileged and bougee than mine was i had to beg for music lessons whereas I've pressed them on my kids . I like that i have a chioice of brunch places to eat ( i dont love the price)

the thing about being poor in a monied area is to find your tribe and avoid the snobby knob heads

the kids parties make me chuckle with all the fruit and crudités and wholesome party bags

It's not "snobby" to want your children to attend a decent school in a decent area of where you live. Why wouldn't a parent want to give their child the best education available to them whether state or private. The stark contrast between MC children and children from a different background is very obvious. And will lead to bullying and all sorts of issues. The gap in cultural capital is just the beginning and the children are like chalk and cheese. By all means send your children to a deprived school but be prepared to make extra curricular activities available to them because they wont learn anything but bad behaviour unfortunately and you'll be back here moaning when theyve gone off the rails later in life

I wouldn't list them as something important though 😂
We're not in our 20s for the uni to be that relevant and in fact I can only remember this info in cases of friends who were refugee children for example as it's quite an achievement to go to top-10 unis when you arrive here totally destitute and not speaking English at all. I couldn't care less about their class either and it would've never crossed my mind to "boast" about being friends with someone from one class or another 😂

I don't remember unis where my MC friends went. Some went to unis in the US or Europe, some of those in creative industries never went to uni and it's completely irrelevant.

I find a lot of people insufferable, dont matter how rich or poor they are their all the same.

Come to think of it i find myself insufferable at times, i need to have a strong word with me.

It’s not middle class parents you find insufferable it is judgmental snobs and no you are not unreasonable. The worst is the hypocrisy- like the people who give off about drug addicts in their area etc but pre kids were all about taking coke/e/insert recreational drug name here. There-I added to your rant.

We live in a remote area, so there was no choice of school for us. Local school or commute 60 miles per day for range of private schools. One thing we did was to have regular "bug busting". School would designate a specific block of 3 days and everyone was supposed to do it. Of course, some parents didn't, but most of us did and because we did, there were no major outbreaks in school. Most parents thought it was a great way to deal with a situation that is very common.

I mean, a little boy did actually get stabbed to death in the area that I grew up in. I used to walk around there all the time as a teenager and this 12-year-old child walked home from school and was murdered by another teenager.
That’s definitely something to avoid where one can

That's the kind of info. you tend to know about your friends though, if they're good friends.

Not so much yet anyway thankfully I suppose