To find middle class parents insufferable?

As I've stated already i went to a not brilliant school and am well aware of the issues when you have disruptive kids in a class, I've lived it. And somehow also come out of it not thinking that I should be segregating my family away with other "nice" similar people and everyone else be damned?

Well isn’t this revealing 😆

You think that all these “annoying” middle class parents removing their children from classes full of disruptive kids is “damning” those kids?

But you’re simultaneously arguing that those classes are perfectly nice and it’s offensive to not want your kids going to them?

So we should aim to send our DCs to underperforming schools, to enable them to receive contextual offers at good universities, due to their inevitable low grades?!?! That’s an interesting take. And as far as I’m aware, parental income does come into the contextual offer equation, which doesn’t bode well for those of us who aren’t eligible for child benefit.

I still don't know what the point of this thread is.

So far, my conclusion is that you can judge others for judging others, is that it?

Are we supposed to have a moral/ethics lesson here or did you just want to show what a great person you are?

Genuinely missing the point.

I agree with you OP.

I’m supposedly middle class, I’ve put my child in a state school. I went to a state school but I grew up working class.

I think what people are missing from this conversation is “who is my child” and “what environment will they thrive in” - that is the number one question. If you do send your child to a state school the next question is “how can I work with the school and teachers to ensure they get the best outcome”.

I have confidence in my DD because I know who she is, she is headstrong and she can get through a state school. However we did travel further out to get into better state schools, as the ones around us had bad reputation.

If I had a child that needed extra support or that was easily swayed and influenced, I would consider moving areas and looking for a school that might be away from certain temptations.

Ive had snobby parents come up to me and ask me why I sent my kid to a state school, they thought “I thought you’d do better”. Then I ask them about their involvement with their grammar school child and they have such a surface level response. Again, not all. But many choose a certain life for their kids so that they can brag about it.

If your child is happy and thriving and you work together , you can work towards the outcome you are looking for. Also remember not all kids want to go off to red brick unis etc. but for those that do it’s a possibility if they go to state school too.

I still don’t understand your point though. We all have different children and different expectations for schooling our children. Some people take a more passive approach to say, it doesn’t matter the school just turn up and do your best, other people feel very strongly about the learning environment has to fit their child. The bias may or may not be correct but surely no one would want knowingly Send their child to a school where they know their kid wouldn’t be happy?

as people regularly show, some children thrive in any school, regardless of whether it has issues. Other children don’t. There is literally no issue with people beng judgemental about these things. Doesn’t mean that others have to share their views. There is as shown by this thread lots of reverse ‘snobbery’. But that’s fine too.

To be fair, @Gwst, you made a sweeping negative comment about “the middle classes” in your post title, so you can only expect replies equally sweeping and negative in response. If you want nuance, then post nuance rather than start out with rage bait.

That’s totally untrue. Many working parents are on universal credit

You might not like this mix of people and on some grounds that’s understandable BUT you are also extremely naive.
I’m guessing your DCs must be quite young. You’ll find out soon enough.

@TaraRhu Not an exception! That’s hyperbole. DC attending less good schools get lower offers for many of the best universities. They don’t need to excel quite often. Look at the list of schools Bristol give lower offers to!

lol i literally have sleepless nights over my kids going out local secondary school and will use every middle class bone in my body to find an alternative! I went to a private school (so you'll hate me) and there's just no comparison. You have no experience of a good school , but let me tell you it's huge! My kids are at the local primary school and it's ok . But it's nothing compared with where I went. Problem disruptive kids, lax rules, low expectations. They don't push to pupils at all and as long as they are ' meeting the expected standards' which are LOW they are fine. No PE teacher till YEAR 3. no art classes, no laguages, the list goes on.

Im glad you came out of your school well, but you are the exception!

Guess your talking to me because I’m the one who mentioned headlice, I never mentioned private school though except to say my kids don’t go there they just go to the best free school in town as opposed to the shitter schools and one very shit sachool in particular.

This is a thing bigger primary schools serving more deprived areas are more familiar and often better at dealing with SEN.

My child got our local primary school because she is adopted, we live close but not in the leafy suburbs, many are drawn to in order to get a local place. So many comments ‘how did YOU get a place’ doesn’t even occur to them that some kids get priority because of their previously in care status, because their circle is so small and privileged.
Sadly the school have turned out to be awful and we’ve felt even more excluded.

I'm working class (on universal credit, have part time zero hours minimum wage job) and all 4 of my dc went to private school, 2 went on to Oxbridge. So not only middle class!

Particularly bizarre thread, all over the place.

Swearing like troopers casually and for no reason makes you down-market; I don't care how old their stupid money is. What you said just goes to show that true class is a matter of character, nothing else.

I think it’s starting to go the other way. My experience is that many middle class parents exercise permissive parenting (they are unable to say no) and are obsessed with getting diagnoses for their children as it’s become fashionable, rather than actually parent their children. My child’s experience at a ‘middle class’ school is actually poorer than a friend’s at a less middle class school, as the behaviour is better in the classrooms as the kids aren’t entitled and think they can do whatever they want…

The "old money, posh" people I know swear like troopers and as casually as they'd open a third bottle of Chateau Margaux on a Tuesday evening.

It's a bit chicken and egg but I don't blame you for moving your child. If my child was beaten up just once and the school didn't deal with it well I'd have zero qualms taking them out. And consider putting them in private school if that was a possibility. I'm amazed you put up with it for so long!

@StrictlyCoffee I don’t see the glee in paying off a mortgage! Everyone dies it at some stage. For us: 48. Not that wonderful. Ed got another one and moved to somewhere wonderful. Much happier to have done this.

@Gwstits not just the demographic. It’s the opportunities. Art, drama, orchestra, so many schools don’t offer this at all or at a low level. Modern language A levels are such a rarity.

Germs can actually be quite beneficial. Middle classes are very adverse.

The fear of the louse in the house depends on how many kids you have too.

My kids have been at normal school for 10 years now (and 3 years of nursery before that) and never got headlice; judging by these comments, I think they must just be immune as obviously the place is crawling with them 😂
Better warn your snobby friends that most private schools offer scholarships to poor kids, so they'd better give their kids a good scrub before they enter the house - wouldn't want them to catch anything!

No, as the tide has already turned, everyone who is MC is on the downward trajectory now, hence the angst :)