To find middle class parents insufferable?

So we should all be sending our kids private if we 'have the means'?

These 'crappy' schools that MC parents in my area avoid like the plague are really not that bad at all! They have a rough element to it created by the fact that their middle class neighbours avoid it like the plague but have really decent teachers and a lot more pastoral care that I have seen elsewhere.

Those absolute sinkhole/awful/stabby schools that always come up on these threads do not exist in my area of London, I would go so far to say anywhere in London these days. they really don't, it is as you say TS in the head of these parents.

My parents are /were immigrants (due to war) so definitely not middle class by any means. Not sure why any parent, middle class or otherwise would choose to keep their children in that environment - it’s not even subjective, some went from school to prison.

It’s not some badge of honour to make your DC tough it out if you have the means to move them. It’s not a middle class stance, it’s a good parent stance, irrespective of class.

I dont really understand this post, surely everyone would want the best for their child? And if you know by reputation that a school is rough why on earth would you put your child in that situation?

some state schools are great, others are awful and achieve really poor results. Unfortunately, I went to the latter.

I left school with only a handful of GCSEs and, for a long time, I put that down to a lack of intelligence. That clearly wasn’t the case as I later went on to achieve a first-class honours degree. The issue was the school itself, the environment, the standards, the lack of support. Why would I want my children to go through the same thing?

Drugs affect all demographics, you sound snobbish OP 😁

Certainly compared to the USA, just seen they're cutting yet another welfare program to the bone because reasons.

So one bad anecdote over rides the thousands of kids who go to state school and do well in life?

Those with bad attitudes have bad attitudes. They should stop justifying it with being ‘poor’. We live in a developed country with good social welfare.

What's wrong with sending your kids to a good state school? (It's in the OP.) Do some of you really think all state schools are knife infested hell holes?

I wouldn’t want mine to go to a crappy school and I’m definitely middle class. So what does that make me? It’s more a case of some parents striving for the absolute best for their children regardless of class. Why is that wrong?

But you can ‘catch’ bad language, poor decisions, chaotic behaviour, lack of direction and motivation because others in the classroom won’t let you focus and be taught. The actions of one can certainly impact on the outcomes of many, and why would I risk my child if I had a choice?

It's weird isn't it. The English seem to be obsessed with "class". I'm Scottish and have friends and family with differing income ranges and I don't think any of them mention class, albeit some are snobby but no-one bangs on about "class"
Maybe it's just mumsnetland and not an English thing, or is it. 😂

💯

You forgot…the teachers who give detentions are “picking on the kids.” Heaven forbid your precious DC has any consequences for their poor actions. Apart from the parents calling them “a right little shit” at Parents’ Evening (if they can be bothered to turn up).

It's not a 'perceived bias' that if a child attends a school entrenched with social deprivation and issues, they are likely to have worse outcomes. It's true.

Sure, many will muddle through and do OK, but it's not an ideal environment. There are good and not-so-good schools - why would you not try to send your kid to a good one if you had the option? I'm not talking about private schools - I mean within the state system.

@Gwst You made me think of my dh. They moved back to the UK when dh started secondary school and were very state school oriented. Dh had previously attended an international school and was very academic.
Well, it all fell apart in year 7. He was a year in advance which didn't help things. Got bullied, kicked and didn't say a word to his parents. Finally made some friends in y 8 but he had stopped making an effort in school since being intelligent was what made him bullied. He never went to university and this is 100% because of what happened in secondary school. That's why we put our son who is academic in private school.

Nope this is exactly and entirely and 100% what MC parents are avoiding when they avoid rough areas and you know it.

I never mentioned that they were poor. You assumed that and that is your prejudice

Oh man, come out to where we are. I am very middle class and I can assure everyone ranting about the schools are definitely not middle class. It’s everyone complaining about how the school is too tough on kids because little Alfie brought a knife to school and now he’s excluded, which is ridiculous because he should be allowed to defend himself. And ranting about attendance policies because their little scruffs are at 80% attendance because they spend a good chunk of their time nicking bikes from the park next to school and vaping and now the parents are getting called in for a meeting. A lot of people around here don’t work and it seems to mean they have an awful lot of time on their hands for complaining. If I were to generalise. 🙄

Tell me you’ve never taught in an underprivileged school without telling me you’ve never taught in an underprivileged school. The issues are huge, and monopolise a lot of time that should be used for teaching and learning. The parents are combative/unsupportive and see the school/teachers as the enemy. And if your child is academic and well-behaved, I can guarantee that they will be sat next to the worst offenders in the class, as they can be trusted not to get involved in the shenanigans. Would I send my bright children to a school to “neutralise” the behaviour of children who come from families who DGAF? Well…I didn’t. I sent my DCs to a grammar, where they’re surrounded by bright kids with parents who support the school and value education. Not sorry about that one bit. School is for learning, not mucking about.

Yes and those poors have such bad attitudes.

My parents moved areas (and schools) because of the pupils/catchment area, which was probably shrewd, as a not an insignificant number of one of my sibling’s peer group have had run-ins with the law.

Don’t underestimate the influence of the peer group on teens. Even if they manage to avoid negative influence it can make their schools years miserable and difficult for them to achieve their potential. It’s not about snobbery but having an environment that is conducive to learning.

Our DC go to our local comprehensive and it’s fine, we are lucky we live somewhere nice.
We recently went for dinner with friends and another guest proudly said that her DC wouldn’t come into contact with drugs due to their choice of private school. How I laughed. Some of these people are delusional. But not all. Unfair to say everyone is the same.