Would you come to my “birthday “ get together?

You’re overthinking this!

Personal preference for me would be dinner at yours, I’d be delighted if my partner was invited too and I’d definitely bring him even if he didn’t know anyone. He’d be fine with that. At some stage people meet new people! We can’t only meet up with people we already know 🤣

This is what I would do. Drinks loosen people up. Nibbles so no awkwardness of sitting down to eat and figuring out dynamics that go with that. Games give people something to focus on that isn't one another (just make sure you have a good mix of those, not just cards against humanity or trivial pursuit)!

I used to be like that too but the more i do things the easier it becomes! Also I've accepted I don't have to be best friends with everyone (I used to be majorly jealous of all my husbands friends girlfriends hanging out but they just weren't my people)

Yes, I'd be fine. I am not sure social but this seems very relaxed and a small number so all fine.

Do something that requires a firm yes or no RSVP. Maybe a meal out. With an RSVP date. Then you will know who wants to come and celebrate with you. Much easier than a party where people might or might not show up.

I think it would be fine. Sounds like you would be having what was once called a dinner party. Few people new each other at these events but were happy to meet new friends and make an effort to get along.

YABU to overthink it, just invite whoever you want and people will come or not.

Crack on. Invite them all. Do drinks at yours and a substantial amount of finger food.

this kind of stuff really annoys me as a woman in my 40s. In my 20s we thought nothing of just inviting people along-people would make knew friends and groups would grow and evolve. Now I have loads of friends that complain that they never meet anyone new-whilst being really precious about who to invite where and not mixing groups.

its one night, if they get on great, if one person feels a little awkward and doesn’t mesh, they’re an adult I’m sure they can handle it for a few hours.

I think something like dinner out is really hard to do when your friends are all from different arenas of your life and don't know each other.
Sidenote: I actually think this model of adult friendships is much more common than people realise, I don't know many people who as adults are in a 'friendship group' that do loads together. I have a reasonable number of friends but like you there's the mate from a job from a few years back, a couple of friends from my existing workplace, an old uni friend or two, a couple of 'mum' friends etc. Tbh like most people I'm too busy with work, family, kids etc to be maintaining a group of friends and social activity around that.

Drinks would be better.

One of the nicest things you can do is bring friends together (that don’t know each other already). Thats how new friendships and friendships groups form. We don’t do this enough in the uk, it’s sad to keep everyone separate.

I would invite the women only for tea and cake at my home or drinks and nibbles. Let them get to know eachother, then extend to the partners

Yes, I'd love to go to a dinner full of people I've never met, especially when they don't all know one another either -- potential friend opportunity, or at the very least meeting new people with the imprimatur of having a friend in common.

@Donotfitin I wouldn’t bother. Just do 4 separate meet-ups to celebrate your birthday.

I think you're over thinking it. Just decide what you want to do for your birthday and then invite everyone ...

I always find these sorts of threads a bit odd as how else do people make friends than meeting people they don't know?

For example I recently had two friends and my sister round for drinks. They all know each other now but they'd have never met if I hadn't at some point invited them to something when they didn't know each other!

Go for it OP! There’s nothing strange about it at all! I’m sure they’d love to come. Mumsnet isn’t the place to ask about social engagements….there’s a large contingent who are just plain weird!

Yeah I think it would be awkward. You have 4 friends who don't know each other (going by your original post) yet want them to join you for a birthday celebration. I would do something with the friends individually as that is quite a small number and it will just lead to forced small talk.

How about ‘Drinks in the Garden’ inviting ev for drinks, pizza and cake. Deliberately very low key and relaxed first time round. Bigger and more expensive events can be kept for when you know and like all the partners and they have all met each other so …next year.
Have a lovely time!

As a person who doesn't do 'small talk' I'd prefer a meal where everyone is seated in one place. I hate parties where you are expected to circulate.

You had a big party years ago but are fretting about lunch in a pub?