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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think paying grandparents for after-school childcare feels unusual

57 replies

Wendyhose · 13/04/2026 22:53

I don’t mean as in the 5 day a week childcare but the 2-3 days afterschool care arrangements. If they are skint then I can understand that it’s a way of them getting money and you getting childcare but if they are ok financially, I do think it’s quite an odd arrangement that kind of alters the relationship.

For the record I’ve paid a grandparent, crèche and childminder over the years

OP posts:
FaceIt · 13/04/2026 23:13

I’ve never come across it before and find it extremely odd.

I wouldn’t dream of charging my Dd or DS under those or any circumstances.

Ukefluke · 13/04/2026 23:10

Well perhaps if parents need the service they are providing they should pay them a salary.

Its always send to me that on mumsnet that parents wanting family support, visits, company, perhaps to live near by are being too demanding.
It works both ways.

TheyGrewUp · 13/04/2026 23:09

I don't think it's unrealistic to pay for additional food costs. Difficult to get my head round it because the only childcare we got, we had to pay for and it isn't a commitment I'd make 2/3 times a week, every week.

Morepositivemum · 13/04/2026 23:08

I once heard a group of gps joking about how great it is to be needed. They were being sarcastic and went on to say they wouldn’t turn down a bit of money even though technically they were just spending time with their gcs (again said in a mocking tone). One said ‘we don’t need money anyway, pensions give us all we need’ and they all started laughing. I didn’t know where to look.

Original poster
Wendyhose · 13/04/2026 23:05

@Bourneyesterday would gifts/ vouchers, even ad hoc financial gifts not be showing appreciation. Paying a set amount every month is a salary

OP posts:
Bourneyesterday · 13/04/2026 23:03

I think it just shows appreciation.

Butterflywings84 · 13/04/2026 22:56

yeah I think that’s weird unless maybe they dropped work to help and therefore lost income but otherwise I wouldn’t think they should be paid (none of the grandparents we get help for (1 school pick up a week) want paying)

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