Solo night away - dh not happy

First post nails it

go to the hotel!

No.. I'm clarifying what the other posters point was because you're incapable of understanding it.

He's not sounding so appealing right now, so I wouldn't be spending w hours driving to have a night with him ☹️.

But isn't that what you're doing by telling me what I can and cannot say?

I'd be really annoyed if my DH blathered kn about how I'm ditching the baby.... then expected me to "ditch the baby" and come home to him with a takeaway.

Honestly some people just can't read the room. OPs DH is a lazy prick of a parent... and people are saying she should reward him instead of having a well deserved break.

Enjoy your hotel chill night, OP.
If your room has a jacuzzi bath don't use products! 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

Bet he's moaning to his mates the baby is out the house and he's not even getting sex.

The point is stop trying to moderate the thread. That's not how Mumsnet works.

If they love being single, why did they get married? Your point makes no sense.

If you would divorce your husband over something like this, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place because you clearly didn't want to marry him in the first place. You could also do with some therapy

Well is your husband the one picking up all the grunt work, all the wake ups, the one who's probably not been alone for literally months? Sometimes you need space. She's not even expecting him to do anything! He can use his money and go stop in a hotel too or have the lads over etc

Well, father of the year has got a whole month to get used to being a parent then.

Not defending him in general as I think he he needs to start pulling his weight with bed times ' overnight walks, but the baby is being looked after by Grandma because OP's lunch is on a work day & he is working. Besides Grandma wants to look after the baby!

The baby isn't the one I'd be ditching.

Unless this is something you can't really afford, book the damn hotel and go.

Maybe friends will be up for dinner and a few cocktails

Don't forget to check the hotel room you're booking does have a bath (some don't) and also ask your DH not to call or text past X o'clock. Hope you have a lovely relaxing stay xx

Glad to read you are returning to work as he sounds lazy and controlling.

He needs to step up now.
He sounds like a very poor father and husband.

Enjoy your break, you so deserve it.

My thoughts exactly...

Woh. This has red flags all over it. You will both have a nice night off and he is digging his heels in? Sounds ultra controlling and questioning your dedication to your baby because you want to have a rare night away to be yourself is horrendous. Time away makes us better parents not worse. You should take her up on her offer and find a way to explain that this is not acceptable. If you cave, you are giving credence to this very dangerous message.

In fact by that definition if anyone is being selfish it's her husband, who is dismissive of the OP's needs and wishes and the reality of her life waking up through the night.

But it's not selfish... it doesn't match the definition you provided at all.

OP has thought about the needs of her child first and foremost. She has considered the fact she has the means to do this and a caring grandmother who wishes to have her child overnight.

It isn't bad correct... but it also isn't selfish. Maybe if it was a month long holiday abroad and getting into debt it'd be selfish. But knew night alone when the child's needs are met is absolutely not selfish.

It's not. Some people will push anything a mother does for herself as selfish but it's not - this impacts absolutely nobody. Zero people.

OP well fucking done, for booking the hotel, for not letting your husband get you to back down, and for not listening to the sour faced dickheads of mumsnet who can't bear the thought of anyone deviating from being glued to their kids and husband every minute of the day. Enjoy your hotel stay - a lovely bath and relaxing night sounds fabulous.

👍🏻. Let's see...

Don’t let him doubt yourself. You can love being a mum a want a night off. Your mum sounds great and definitely take her up on offer.
The hotel makes sense as it’s an hour drive.
Enjoy.

Honestly, mums are not only guilt tripped for leaving baby, but also their husbands most of the time.

Things I’ve seen:

1. For leaving baby to go on a rare outing - even if it’s for a morning
2. For leaving baby and then not spending time with husband
3. For leaving baby with husband (wtf)
4. For leaving baby with parents to go on a rare outing with or without husband
5. For doing anything at all that doesn’t involve baby and husband

Like women need to only prioritise children and men, never themselves.

You literally just want a bath!!! You’re not selfish or needy!!!

That isn’t how forums work @doctorharvey. You don’t get to police it if other people think differently to you.
how forums work is that everyone gives their own opinion.
so on this particular thread some would divorce over this (maybe they’re been there, done that, maybe it’s easy for them due to finances, maybe they have a super high bar as they love being single, maybe they can read between the lines here, whatever) ; and at the other end of the scale, some are saying ‘poor man’. Then everything else in between.
the op gets to read everyone’s opinions, add her own far more intimate knowledge of her own situation, and draw her own conclusions.
so, no, I will continue to give my opinion of divorce in any situation where that is precisely what I would do.

It’s not selfish. No one - nanna, baby, husband- is losing out or even having to play second fiddle because of this decision. Is win-win. Nanna enjoys the time (so she says, and who are we to argue!), baby is happy with nanna (perfectly normal and good for baby!) and husband… well he has the night as usual.