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Trans nursery workers?

265 replies

ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 13/04/2026 18:26

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

OP posts:
Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:38

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 11:28

Heterosexuality harmed no one. Pretending to a 3 year old boy that they could become a girl when they clearly cannot is harming that 3 year old child.

Of course - no heterosexual male has ever harmed a woman or child!
🙄

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:36

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 11:26

Gender identity isn’t even a thing. Happy to help.

Thankfully the law disagees with your ignorance - specifically the Gender Recognition and Equality Act.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:30

ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 15/04/2026 11:12

for someone who is apparently not a trans rights activists, you’re certainly very keen on defending every part of the ideology.

i used to think like you. I listened to trans people and feminists and realised that none of it made any sense.

i am concerned with the risks (the ideology and potential of of a man who MAY have a fetish working with my child) it may pose to my child, if I think they are more than the benefit of the nursery I will remove them. I would not ban them from working in the nursery, I have no right. But I do have the right to protect my child as I see fit.

I totally respect your right to protect your child from harm, what I challenge are your assumptions

  1. that a trans woman is simply a man with a sexual fetish
  2. that those with a different ideology to you in relation to sex and gender is automatically "harmful"
  3. That anyone who supports this ideology will be forcing it onto young children and encouraging them to adopt their beliefs

Ask yourself would you feel this way about a Muslim or Christian nursery worker? Or a gay or lesbian worker?

Many people find these ideologies to be harmful, but wouldn't feel uncomfortable about their child being cared for by them, because they know that rules and regulations exist around conduct and curriculum in these settings, that all staff are mandated to follow regardless of their own personal beliefs or characteristics.

Why do you'll feel so strongly that this risk exists just from a trans person rather than from any other workers who may differ from your ideologies in other areas?

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 11:28

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:15

By that token, anyone who has ANY different belief or characteristic to others could be claimed to be promoting harmful beliefs.

In a professional context, it is not appropriate for any practitioner to be actively promoting their own beliefs as absolute to anyone, least of all impressionable children.
BUT they DO have the right to hold them and not have to deny or hide their existence and to be free from prejudice or discrimination.

E.g. Someone in a same sex marriage is legally entitled to be, they would be allowed to wear a wedding ring to work if those in heterosexual marriages were allowed to. A woman referring to a wife rather than a husband would be acceptable. Would you consider that to be "promoting" harmful beliefs to those who dont agree with same sex relationships?

And if so, why is would it be different to anyone assuming a different gender identity?

Heterosexuality harmed no one. Pretending to a 3 year old boy that they could become a girl when they clearly cannot is harming that 3 year old child.

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 11:26

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:02

Many posters on here clearly believe that men and trans women should not be working in nursery settings.

Trans woman is a gender identity, a social construct. Society and the law recognise this, you can personally disagree and deny their existence, it doesn't make it fact.

You do understand that people can be more than one thing you know? Your sex can be that of a biological man with a different gender identity. Do you even understand the difference?

Gender identity isn’t even a thing. Happy to help.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:15

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:58

If it would be discrimination for the nursery to recruit based on whether someone was promoting a harmful ideology to vulnerable young people then they are in a way ‘forced’ into recruiting.

Parents aren’t forced to use the nursery and can vote with their feet. It’s puts the nursery in a tricky position.

By that token, anyone who has ANY different belief or characteristic to others could be claimed to be promoting harmful beliefs.

In a professional context, it is not appropriate for any practitioner to be actively promoting their own beliefs as absolute to anyone, least of all impressionable children.
BUT they DO have the right to hold them and not have to deny or hide their existence and to be free from prejudice or discrimination.

E.g. Someone in a same sex marriage is legally entitled to be, they would be allowed to wear a wedding ring to work if those in heterosexual marriages were allowed to. A woman referring to a wife rather than a husband would be acceptable. Would you consider that to be "promoting" harmful beliefs to those who dont agree with same sex relationships?

And if so, why is would it be different to anyone assuming a different gender identity?

ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 15/04/2026 11:14

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:02

Many posters on here clearly believe that men and trans women should not be working in nursery settings.

Trans woman is a gender identity, a social construct. Society and the law recognise this, you can personally disagree and deny their existence, it doesn't make it fact.

You do understand that people can be more than one thing you know? Your sex can be that of a biological man with a different gender identity. Do you even understand the difference?

Also what is your definition of gender?

OP posts:
ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 15/04/2026 11:12

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:02

Many posters on here clearly believe that men and trans women should not be working in nursery settings.

Trans woman is a gender identity, a social construct. Society and the law recognise this, you can personally disagree and deny their existence, it doesn't make it fact.

You do understand that people can be more than one thing you know? Your sex can be that of a biological man with a different gender identity. Do you even understand the difference?

for someone who is apparently not a trans rights activists, you’re certainly very keen on defending every part of the ideology.

i used to think like you. I listened to trans people and feminists and realised that none of it made any sense.

i am concerned with the risks (the ideology and potential of of a man who MAY have a fetish working with my child) it may pose to my child, if I think they are more than the benefit of the nursery I will remove them. I would not ban them from working in the nursery, I have no right. But I do have the right to protect my child as I see fit.

OP posts:
Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 11:02

ainsleysanob · 15/04/2026 10:54

No one is removing the right of men to work in a childcare setting. Thus, trans women are not oppressed. There are no ‘trans women’, there are only men and women. Neither of those have had the right to work in a childcare setting removed.

Many posters on here clearly believe that men and trans women should not be working in nursery settings.

Trans woman is a gender identity, a social construct. Society and the law recognise this, you can personally disagree and deny their existence, it doesn't make it fact.

You do understand that people can be more than one thing you know? Your sex can be that of a biological man with a different gender identity. Do you even understand the difference?

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:58

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:46

They're not "forced" to recruit anyone. They are required to appoint suitable candidates to the role, and judge the suitability of each based on the requirements of the role.

The sex, gender, religion, race, disability, marital status, sexuality etc of the individual has no bearing on their suitability, and to consider those factors for ANY candidate would be discrimination.

Are you actually defending discrimination?

If it would be discrimination for the nursery to recruit based on whether someone was promoting a harmful ideology to vulnerable young people then they are in a way ‘forced’ into recruiting.

Parents aren’t forced to use the nursery and can vote with their feet. It’s puts the nursery in a tricky position.

ainsleysanob · 15/04/2026 10:54

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:26

Agreed

They have the right to work in a childcare settings, the same as men, same as women. Presuming they are suitably qualified with no offences precluding them from working with children.

Removal of this right from trans women as desired by many posters on this thread, based purely on their gender identity, WOULD be oppression.

Oppression - often involves social, institutional, or political structures that restrict the opportunities of marginalized groups while favoring dominant ones.

No one is removing the right of men to work in a childcare setting. Thus, trans women are not oppressed. There are no ‘trans women’, there are only men and women. Neither of those have had the right to work in a childcare setting removed.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:46

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:36

The nursery is a bit stuck then aren’t they. Forced to recruit trans candidates knowing it might put off ‘bigoted’ parents.

They're not "forced" to recruit anyone. They are required to appoint suitable candidates to the role, and judge the suitability of each based on the requirements of the role.

The sex, gender, religion, race, disability, marital status, sexuality etc of the individual has no bearing on their suitability, and to consider those factors for ANY candidate would be discrimination.

Are you actually defending discrimination?

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:36

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:26

Agreed

They have the right to work in a childcare settings, the same as men, same as women. Presuming they are suitably qualified with no offences precluding them from working with children.

Removal of this right from trans women as desired by many posters on this thread, based purely on their gender identity, WOULD be oppression.

Oppression - often involves social, institutional, or political structures that restrict the opportunities of marginalized groups while favoring dominant ones.

The nursery is a bit stuck then aren’t they. Forced to recruit trans candidates knowing it might put off ‘bigoted’ parents.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:31

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:20

If you’re fine with people choosing to imply to small children that you can change sex - when you obviously can’t - that’s fine, but so many parents would disagree with you and would remove their child. Go woke, go broke.

Wearing of clothing alone implies nothing of the sort. That's your assumption, conflating gender identity and presentation with percieved biological sex.

There is no such thing as clothing for your sex - clothing is gendered. Gender is a social construct - it is an identity seperate from sex, which CAN be changed, whilst ones fundamental biological sex cannot, even with medical transitions.

Wearing of clothing perceived to be for a specific gender other than your own, does NOT mean the wearer is obviously pretending to be another sex, and anyone who infers this is quite clearly rather confused.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:26

ainsleysanob · 15/04/2026 10:15

Those trans women are not oppressed. Where is the oppression? They have the same rights as every other man.

Agreed

They have the right to work in a childcare settings, the same as men, same as women. Presuming they are suitably qualified with no offences precluding them from working with children.

Removal of this right from trans women as desired by many posters on this thread, based purely on their gender identity, WOULD be oppression.

Oppression - often involves social, institutional, or political structures that restrict the opportunities of marginalized groups while favoring dominant ones.

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:20

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:17

Riiiiigggghttt

If you’re fine with people choosing to imply to small children that you can change sex - when you obviously can’t - that’s fine, but so many parents would disagree with you and would remove their child. Go woke, go broke.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 10:17

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:05

Yes. They are choosing to pretend to young children that you can change sex. They are dressing as the opposite sex. That’s a choice. They could dress as their own sex but choose not to.

Riiiiigggghttt

ainsleysanob · 15/04/2026 10:15

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 08:54

Which women's rights are you defending in this situation?

How does a trans woman working in a childcare setting impinge on women's rights?

Those trans women are not oppressed. Where is the oppression? They have the same rights as every other man.

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 10:05

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 09:01

Implying HOW exactly? By merely existing?

Yes. They are choosing to pretend to young children that you can change sex. They are dressing as the opposite sex. That’s a choice. They could dress as their own sex but choose not to.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 09:34

senua · 15/04/2026 09:07

I was quoting your general modus vivendi. Don't try to deflect with whataboutery.

I am genuinely trying to understand how you've got to this conclusion - None of my posts or views are saying or implying that women's rights and protections should be given up.

Safety for everyone should be a universal right. Do you not agree?

senua · 15/04/2026 09:07

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 08:54

Which women's rights are you defending in this situation?

How does a trans woman working in a childcare setting impinge on women's rights?

I was quoting your general modus vivendi. Don't try to deflect with whataboutery.

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 09:01

Hamalam · 15/04/2026 07:41

Do you think it’s abusive to imply to small children that they can change sex, when it’s impossible? I think it is!

Implying HOW exactly? By merely existing?

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 08:54

senua · 15/04/2026 08:45

Just because women are an oppressed group, that doesn't give us the right to oppress others, or insist that we are more deserving of protections than other marginalised groups.
Our mothers and grandmothers had to fight hard to gain our rights and protections. We are not giving up those rights to men doing cosplay.

Defending our rights is not oppression.

Which women's rights are you defending in this situation?

How does a trans woman working in a childcare setting impinge on women's rights?

Endoadnowarrior · 15/04/2026 08:51

OK, taking you at face value, you are seriously saying that you have never experienced arousal wearing lingerie or a sexy outfit?!!

The next sentence after the clothing I said
"The key point being AT appropriate times/situations!"

The very first sentence of that post was:
Noone should be aroused or wearing any clothing they feel aroused in - whether working with children or in any job!

senua · 15/04/2026 08:45

Just because women are an oppressed group, that doesn't give us the right to oppress others, or insist that we are more deserving of protections than other marginalised groups.
Our mothers and grandmothers had to fight hard to gain our rights and protections. We are not giving up those rights to men doing cosplay.

Defending our rights is not oppression.