AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

Do not block him OP!!

The police and domestic abuse charities all say you should not block them.
(I never knew this either until I learnt it on here).

He does this because it works!

The more you give in, the more he’s going to keep doing it.

Can you stay somewhere else for a couple days?
Even just a cheap travel lodge?

I would give your parents and ex the heads up that he might turn up/contact them.
Then tell him it’s over, don’t block him but just explain yourself and then say you won’t be replying.

He will of course try and ring you etc, any of us would if our partners broke up with us. This is normal.
He’s going to be extra as it has worked in the past.

Keep strong and just don’t talk to him.
If he rings on a different number put the phone down straight away.
Stay away for a couple of nights and after that threaten to call the police if he turns up.
Then follow through with calling the police to let him know you are serious.

The only person who can make this happen is you.
If you don’t stay strong and give in, this will keep happening.

Be extra strong 1 last time and then you can be done for good.

^ a message like this

no giving a reason or leaving yourself open to a conversation as he will claim he will correct his behaviour. End it block him

next week he shall be with the love of his life …. again

Have u got a ring door bell?

Did you post about this before?

Block. Delete.

stop engaging

How many children have you got?

Then put your children's names down.

Just to add -don’t say anything about needing space, or giving him a reason like ‘you’re not making me happy’ because men like this will look for any way in and read ‘space’ as not final and anything about not making you happy as an excuse to say ‘let me make you happy’.

You actually don’t owe him an explanation-you can end a relationship for any reason, you don’t need to explain.
If you do decide to message, as PP have said leave it very simple and block. Tell friends and family what you’ve decided and not to engage with him. How old are your children? Does he have permission to collect them from school? If so, revoke that now.
If he turns up don’t answer the door. Keep a note and if he persists contact the police. You do not owe this man your time or politeness.

For all those people who say 'keep telling him you're done'. Absolutey DON'T do that. You have to ignore him.

You've already told him. Don't respond now.

Any further messaging to him will only tell him that you are still prepared to engage with him and fuel him further. He didn't listen before and he's not going to listen if you just keep repeating it.

I know you said claries law is a bit dramatic but he does sound like the stalker type. Therefore I'd do one because if there is anything you'll get police support straight away. He sounds psychotic and I'm not trying to scare you x

I recommend reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. There is a lot of useful advice in there.

Two key points- you are scared of this man. Listen to that feeling and do not allow yourself to be reasoned out of it. Gut instinct is the sum of all the tiny signals that you see but don't consciously process. If you're afraid, take that seriously.

Second key point is that once you have told someone clearly never to contact you again, you must never react to them again in any way.

If you say "never", he contacts you 999 times and you react to the 1000th attempt, even if it's just to say "leave me alone" then all you've taught him is that it takes 1000 tries to get your attention.

Stay strong. Do not give in! Xx

And STILL DO A CLAIRES LAW ASAP. It could determine how you respond if he continues to contact you. Could make all the difference re police involvement.

Good. Don't engage. Don't give him reasons that he can work with. Just keep repeating that you're done and to leave you alone.

He is officially stalking if he contacts you two more times after you have asked him not to. This is a crime and the police take it seriously as it’s a huge red flag especially when a relationship ends and for the next two years the risk of physical assault is escalated. Please take advice from DA service. You need to use your agency now to get your physical and mental safety in place. Tell neighbours, colleagues, family and friends that you are being stalked and to not engage with this man and to alert you if they see him or his vehicle. Get a 24/7 dash cam and a ring doorbell. Do not answer phone to him. Keep all texts and messages for evidence. Speak to the police - hes a classic case and will be seen as high risk.

Before you can tell him you are done, you have to tell yourself you are done. You have to truly be done.

If/when this happens, he will not be able to talk you round.

Re safely ending things, talk to women's aid, they will be able to give you advice on how best to do that

Well done. That’s your start. Ignore him. Tell your friends and family that you’ve finished it and he’s been being a nuisance. Tell them not to interact with him at all and tell them you may have to get the police involved. Keep your door locked. Get a ring camera. Go back and do the Claire’s Law - and go see the result with the police. Don’t talk to him or reply to messages. If he rings on another number hang up immediately. Do not give him any encouragement or back down on anything. If you could stay with a friend or they could stay with you for a few days do. And report any behaviour that ignores your wishes and makes you feel uncomfortable/scared. Stay strong. Personally I wouldn’t block him - log and save messages.

I would 100% do a Claire’s law, if you have children I don’t understand why you haven’t?

Could you plan a trip away somewhere? Dump him before you go, which will give him time to get his head around it and he won’t be able to beg you to change your mind?

Could you talk to your parents and tell them your concerns, they maybe able to help?

I would dump him by text, make it very clear that you won’t be changing your mind, that you are totally done and you don’t love him. If he starts pestering you then threaten with the police….and follow through with it. Block him on everything, get your parents to block him and if her turns up at your house (or your parents) you call the police.

Because they're desperate. If you' don't act, he's going to try and move in.

Send him a message telling him you don't want to hear from him again. Have you got any male mates with a 'presence' who could answer the door to him?

If not, if he turns up, ring the police to come and collect him. They'll give him a talking to.

Block and delete as everyone has told you, for goodness sake 🙈 @Pistachioo

This is a massive red flag. His behaviour indicates he has no respect for your autonomy, and he's in denial of reality. He's not unique; this is indicative of a domestic abuser. You need to get away from him, and stop giving a shit about his feelings. He doesn't care about you; he wants to control you.

I have ended our relationship.
i will not be responding to anymore calls or texts.
do not contact me or my family or come to my home or I will be contacting the police.
all the best

Police and domestic abuse report