AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

If you really want to understand then go and google coercive control and Biderman’s chart of coercion and take your unhelpful, condescending, disingenuous victim-blaming off the thread.

So you inform him that if he does this again you will take it to the police as harassment.

You don't have a choice.

Well, why?

the mind boggles

I agree but I’d sent one very very clear message to stop all contact or she will go to the police and then block. If he contacts her via another number she needs to contact them.

Send one message stating that “I have ended our relationship because you are harassing me with non stop communication and turning up at my house. Please stop as I will contact the police if you do not take this clear request to do so. Any further contact even to acknowledge this message is unwanted and is considered as harassment.”

Then he cannot claim to not understand. But if he does get in touch after sending such a message, then go to police. Ive done this. It felt dramatic but I never heard from him again.

Do not block him.

But I agree responding is sending mixed messages and is going to cause him to keep trying as he thinks that’s what you want.

He sounds awful. I’m so sorry. I know you don’t want to hijack the thread, but if he threatens suicidal, don’t respond, call the police for a welfare check - he’s not your responsibility and he’s still here - it’s a hollow threat and, even if it isn’t, it’s still not your problem.
Log the stalking and harassment and call the police. Don’t answer the door to him.
Honestly you can do this - like OP you do not owe this man your time or presence - you don’t want to spend another month, year, the rest of your life living like this.
Tell friends and family what’s happening - bring it into the light as much as you can. You owe him nothing!
Many years ago (before DH) I lived with a man like this - it took me a while to get away, but I’m so glad I did, You will be too. Best of luck 😊

I suggest contacting the NCDV https://www.ncdv.org.uk/. They can advise you and support you with seeking a non-molestation order. Breach of a non-mol is an arrestable offence so it quite a powerful tool.

Why would you allow this to continue, you hVe kids ffs

Well done @Pistachioo

youve done the right thing. Please contact the police on 101 and tell them what’s going on when he keeps contacting you.

this won’t be easy, but the police will help you

Honestly, total madness and drama

@Pistachioo

i see the thread has moved on and some posters have been helpful. Others not.

Firstly don’t block him. He’s actually helpful to know his mindset so you can take actions as necessary. However, do not engage in reply with him. If you have told him in their own certain term that it is over then you have set your boundary. No fluffy words like space or time to myself. It is over. Please do not contact me or my friends and family again.

Tell your friends and family the truth. Silence is the biggest control he has. Break that.

If he continues contact the police. In fact you would be wise to 101 this already. You’ve told him previously it’s over and you tried nice and he wore you down. Let them know you have concerns for your safety and would appreciate some advice and guidance including personal and home safety. Tell them you’ve done a Claire’s law too.

Alter your routines and have some trusted people location sharing with you. Have a code word. I’m going to make a banana loaf. Need to go get tea I’m Fancying xxxxx ( a food you don’t like but he doesn’t know). Anything that will alert them.

Have You done a Google search on this man.

Thank you - I won’t hijack the thread but very much the same. We don’t live together so stalking and harassment along with coercive control. It’s either a suicide threat or he turns up at my house and acts like nothing has happened. Or threatens me. I could go on

Is there a reason you haven’t blocked him? Honestly in the nicest possible way OP you are sending him mixed messages by responding to him. You need to block and delete: dont respond don’t engage. No way should you be messaging him first thing in the morning. Block him??

JUST BLOCK HIM

ffs

Tell him OP, 'Please don't contact me again, I feel that I am being harassed and will have to contact the police if you do.'

Please just work your way through the form @Pistachioo

Answer all the questions and submit it.

I bet this man is known for stalking and VAW already.

Maybe this thread is the prompt for you to leave? What’s preventing you (I don’t mean that rudely at all - I’m genuinely asking if it’s a shared home, children etc. that you feel makes it too difficult?)

Are we with the same man? Genuinely in this position myself. Sounds identical. If you can escape at any opportunity - get out. I have relentlessly tried and i am still trapped. I have made stupid decisions and stayed where I could have left due to the manipulation of taking his life. Do not make the same mistakes!

Do a Clare’s law, even if you need to give your DC’s names no harm will come of that. I would contact your local police station if he is genuinely harassing you. They will warn him off or arrest him if needed

To assess any risk to you all and take any action needed including plans to make sure you are all safe if the need to. Do the request!

Sounds batshit