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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

206 replies

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 16:37

I know I am being love bombed. Relentless texting, false promises, the L word so soon. I want out of this relationship but what is the best way to escape this sort of person?

OP posts:
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TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/04/2026 16:01

Did you see the police yet @Pistachioo?

TheNarcissistsEx · 16/04/2026 12:28

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:20

I wish I never did it.

I hope you’re ok @Pistachioo

WilfredsPies · 16/04/2026 11:21

Anyahyacinth · 13/04/2026 19:05

What rubbish...I cannot imagine posting with such energy to attack someone who is afraid. Of course OP is not solely responsible for her own safety. The individual shouldn't be harassing her, the police ought to be approachable and trusted. Community, like MN, should offer support. Victim attacking at its finest. Yuck

What are you talking about? Such energy? And attacking? It’s not victim attacking or blaming at all. You’ve completely and wilfully misunderstood. He sounds dangerous and that is neither the fault nor the responsibility of the OP. Nor is she responsible for any treatment she experiences at his hands. That’s all on him.

Pointing out to her that she’s the only person who can ask for the help that she very clearly needs, and that she has to take responsibility for asking for that help, is not the same thing at all. She didn’t say at that point that the police weren’t approachable or to be trusted. She didn’t say she was in fear of the police, or of what would happen to her if she went to the police. She said she didn’t go through with the application because it all seemed a bit dramatic. Nobody else can do that for her. That’s the bit that she alone has to be responsible for, which she’s done now and hopefully the police will be able to put a stop to his behaviour now.

IndigoBabble · 15/04/2026 20:41

XMissPlacedX · 15/04/2026 20:30

op, your better off knowing one way or another. You have done right recognising the signs and moving toward a way out.

Well said. I hope you are ok @Pistachioobut I agree you are better off knowing the details so you can take steps to make sure you are safe. Take care xx

XMissPlacedX · 15/04/2026 20:30

op, your better off knowing one way or another. You have done right recognising the signs and moving toward a way out.

AgnesX · 15/04/2026 19:45

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 17:33

I did try, it says that the police give you the outcome face to face and it all seems a bit dramatic.

It's all for the best. You should have agreed for them to come to you. A lot simpler and quicker, especially if there's no issues. Being on your own turf would give you more confidence.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2026 19:39

It’s better you know what you’re dealing with, even if it’s frightening.

Inmyuggs · 15/04/2026 19:23

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Inmyuggs · 15/04/2026 19:19

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

IndigoBabble · 15/04/2026 19:16

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:20

I wish I never did it.

Wish you’d never done what @Pistachioo? Asked for the disclosure or told your ex? X

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 15/04/2026 19:14

Tell him it doesn’t feel right. Be polite and ask him not to contact you anymore. If he does then come back to us for plan b. I wouldn’t block anyone initially as it seems over the top but you may have to eventually.

OriginalSkang · 15/04/2026 19:10

Clearly the police don't think she's over reacted or they wouldnt want to meet her surely?

SunnyRedSnail · 15/04/2026 19:09

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:20

I wish I never did it.

Why? Do you feel you over reacted?

Is he still hassling you now?

Cantgetausername87 · 15/04/2026 19:08

You know OP you should continue with this. Its really not a reflection if it does turn out he has a history. It's better to know what you're dealing with and may help you feel better. If there's no history then that's a reassurance, and if there is, they'll put steps in place to keep you and your children safe. So really need to take the call when it comes and listen to anything they have to say x

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/04/2026 19:03

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/04/2026 19:01

Is this your first relationship?

Send a message to say you don’t want to see him again then block him.

RTFT things have moved on....

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/04/2026 19:01

Is this your first relationship?

Send a message to say you don’t want to see him again then block him.

OriginalSkang · 15/04/2026 18:58

You really should just do it and get it out of the way. You could be putting yourself and your children in danger of you don't

Dodorogers · 15/04/2026 18:26

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 17:29

last time I ended I felt so much lighter until all the phone calls/turning up at my house etc. I tried to talk to him and he ended up persuading me that things would change. I honestly just want an easy life. He hasn’t changed, he knows exactly when I have read my messages and rings me if I don’t reply he also demands that on the days I don’t have the children they are HIS days, what about MY days? He has given me the ick and I just can’t even bring myself to talk to him. The amount of times I have told him I am busy at work today is exhausting as he said I am a nightmare at replying. I don’t want to text him all day.

It isn’t the ick he is abusive/stalking you

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/04/2026 18:22

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:20

I wish I never did it.

It could save your life.
If it turns out that he's got a criminal history you could be in danger.

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:20

I wish I never did it.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/04/2026 18:18

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:14

No my ex was not abusive, I told him because equally he will have the kids best interests at heart but obviously he isn’t interested.

i couldn’t go today as my son was up all night being sick so was off school. An officer is going to call me. I don’t think I can handle all this to be honest, I have never been involved with the police I don’t like it.

Your involvement with the police is for your benefit and they'll be used to helping victims like you.

I'm sorry your son's been unwell.

Pistachioo · 15/04/2026 18:14

No my ex was not abusive, I told him because equally he will have the kids best interests at heart but obviously he isn’t interested.

i couldn’t go today as my son was up all night being sick so was off school. An officer is going to call me. I don’t think I can handle all this to be honest, I have never been involved with the police I don’t like it.

OP posts:
TheNarcissistsEx · 15/04/2026 17:50

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 19:34

Obviously I am terrified about what I am going to be told tomorrow and that I exposed myself to this, more importantly my children. I won’t take any risks

Any news?

SpryCat · 15/04/2026 17:25

How are you @Pistachioo ? Have you been to see the police ? I hope you are ok.

BookArt55 · 15/04/2026 17:16

Hope you're okay!

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