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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a note at his door

157 replies

singlemum10 · 13/04/2026 14:38

Okay, I need opinions...

I have a crush on my neighbour (who will be my neighbour for another 3 months) but I rarely see him, and when I do I’m usually with my son so it’s not really a moment to talk. But he is so kind to us both and extremely handsome. I'm a single mum in my late 20s, have 2 child-free nights a week and don't have time to meet people in day-to-day life and I very much miss having a connection with someone

So I’m thinking of leaving a note on his door like:
“hi neighbor, I always forget to ask if my stroller is in the way in the entrance - let me know if it is, and you can text me on xxx if we don’t run into each other” (I genuinely do always forget to ask)

Very neutral, not flirty as I don't know his relationship status or if he is even into me! I'm just not sure if this is the worst note ever to leave haha, just thought it might open the door veeeeeery slightly

What should I do?
A) leave the note (lowkey, no expectations)
B) leave the note but add something to make it easier to start a conversation
C) don’t leave a note, just wait until I run into him
D) abort mission completely lol

OP posts:
OhBumBags · 13/04/2026 16:47

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:46

You've never tried "flushed cheeks and a push up bra"? 😂😂

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Not since I was 16, no 🤣🤣

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:46

OhBumBags · 13/04/2026 16:44

Blimey.

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You've never tried "flushed cheeks and a push up bra"? 😂😂

ananasfritz · 13/04/2026 16:45

I lean strongly toward "talk to him face to face". You can eke out a few minutes even if your child is there - or watch his schedule so you can run into him on one of your solo days. Could you ask for his help with some quick, minor thing in your house/yard - especially if it's just you and a young child in your household - and then offer a coffee or drink or lunch or something as a thank you?

A note is fine if it's for a practical purpose but he's probably not going to think to take anything further. I would not eat a homemade thing given to me by a neighbour if I've never been inside their house and have no idea if their kitchen is sanitary, and I'd feel slightly inconvenienced being given something I wouldn't eat and wouldn't feel comfortable donating.

OhBumBags · 13/04/2026 16:44

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:41

No. I should have said. The demure is not code for oppressed looking. It's more of a mystique thing and is most effective with flushed cheeks and a push up bra. OP all this nonsense about cake is not helping your cause. Please continue. I think your note is a little dry, though.

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Blimey.

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:43

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:31

Ha, well, if he's hates them then that's a conversation starter in its way too. I think it's much better than asking him for coffee which is super awks if he's not single. The cake easily leads into chat, so she can say her line about 'saying sorry for the stroller being in the way' and he's like 'oh it's fine I never noticed', then she can say she's moving out soon so didn't want to go without having a proper chat... and so on. Then a coffee invite could happen at the end of that if it seems like he's available and willing, but it's not like he's gonna vomit on her cake and slam the door so I still think it's the best idea so far.

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We don't know that! (joke 😉).
The point is that it's often better to be direct, then everyone knows where they are.
she says -
"Do you fancy going out for a coffee sometime?"
he says -
"Yes/maybe/no/perhaps somewhere that doesn't sell lemon drizzle cake, it makes me nauseous".

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:42

ohhhhnnnoooo · 13/04/2026 16:29

brilliantly executed

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In what world does this leave her plausible deniability?

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:41

OhBumBags · 13/04/2026 16:31

Oh God, bake him a lemon drizzle and make sure you're very warm and 'demure'?

I suppose the OP could don a 1950s apron and housewives turban to complete the image.

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No. I should have said. The demure is not code for oppressed looking. It's more of a mystique thing and is most effective with flushed cheeks and a push up bra. OP all this nonsense about cake is not helping your cause. Please continue. I think your note is a little dry, though.

CookingFatCat · 13/04/2026 16:39

Ask him out, via note.

Dontknowwhattobelieve2 · 13/04/2026 16:37

So.. my neighbour did something similar, he gave me his number incase anyone broke into his house while he was away for the weekend. I took it literally screwed the paper up and binned it once he was home, never actually texting him. He’ll probably do the same (if the stroller isn’t in the way). You’ll need to be more direct, what’s the worst that could happen? As you say he’s only going to be your neighbour for another 3 months.

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:34

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:30

Me, I'm allergic to lemons!

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Op in the unlikely event he discloses an allergy to lemons, take the loaf back. The stars are not aligned.

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:33

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:30

Me, I'm allergic to lemons!

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Well again, that's classic rom com chat. "Allergic to lemons? Really??" "Yep, here's a funny story about my last allergic reaction..." "Oh my, I'm so sorry. What is your favourite cake - let me know and you can come over and share it..."

OhBumBags · 13/04/2026 16:31

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:11

I would bake two lemon drizzle loaves and bring him one of them. He will not be able to tell if you're flirting or not because this could mean anything. As long as you are very warm but demure. It gives him a notion but you have plausible deniability. And don't say much when you hand it over unless you're very good at being relaxed. None of this I made too much, thought you might like it, hope you like lemon etc. Just I hope I'm not disturbing, I've been baking today, hope you enjoy and allow him to say what a kind thought and then it's his turn.

Edited

Oh God, bake him a lemon drizzle and make sure you're very warm and 'demure'?

I suppose the OP could don a 1950s apron and housewives turban to complete the image.

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:31

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:27

Me! 🤮

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Ha, well, if he's hates them then that's a conversation starter in its way too. I think it's much better than asking him for coffee which is super awks if he's not single. The cake easily leads into chat, so she can say her line about 'saying sorry for the stroller being in the way' and he's like 'oh it's fine I never noticed', then she can say she's moving out soon so didn't want to go without having a proper chat... and so on. Then a coffee invite could happen at the end of that if it seems like he's available and willing, but it's not like he's gonna vomit on her cake and slam the door so I still think it's the best idea so far.

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:30

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:21

Blimey, don't give up your day job.

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Well I won't because I like it but I'm really good at this actually. Or maybe I'm bad but attractive. Either way, OP has nothing to lose as she'll keep her dignity, provided that it doesn't morally wound her to bake things or share, and it offers him an in.

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:30

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:26

I like the lemon drizzle idea! Why not?! Who doesn't love a lemon drizzle??

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Me, I'm allergic to lemons!

InterestedDad37 · 13/04/2026 16:30

A or B
(or innuendo - something about leaving things in hallways 😉) - perhaps not 😂

ohhhhnnnoooo · 13/04/2026 16:29

Humanswarm · 13/04/2026 16:08

Just knock on his door, ask for some sugar and then ask if he wants to join you for coffee. Way easier than the note.

brilliantly executed

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:27

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:26

I like the lemon drizzle idea! Why not?! Who doesn't love a lemon drizzle??

Show quote history

Me! 🤮

pinkdelight · 13/04/2026 16:26

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:21

Blimey, don't give up your day job.

Show quote history

I like the lemon drizzle idea! Why not?! Who doesn't love a lemon drizzle??

MissFenellaPrism · 13/04/2026 16:26

No notes, no baked goods. The next time you run into him say - "do you fancy going out for a coffee sometime?"

pizzaHeart · 13/04/2026 16:25

C
your note about the pram might actually confuse him more as a lot of people think literally so next time he sees you he will think that you are worried about the pram not that you are interested in him somehow.

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/04/2026 16:21

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:11

I would bake two lemon drizzle loaves and bring him one of them. He will not be able to tell if you're flirting or not because this could mean anything. As long as you are very warm but demure. It gives him a notion but you have plausible deniability. And don't say much when you hand it over unless you're very good at being relaxed. None of this I made too much, thought you might like it, hope you like lemon etc. Just I hope I'm not disturbing, I've been baking today, hope you enjoy and allow him to say what a kind thought and then it's his turn.

Edited

Blimey, don't give up your day job.

AmyDudley · 13/04/2026 16:19

Humanswarm · 13/04/2026 16:08

Just knock on his door, ask for some sugar and then ask if he wants to join you for coffee. Way easier than the note.

Or just ask him if he'd like to come round for a coffee, rather than any sugar/note/pram/lemon drizzle type code-talk.

Notabarbie · 13/04/2026 16:11

I would bake two lemon drizzle loaves and bring him one of them. He will not be able to tell if you're flirting or not because this could mean anything. As long as you are very warm but demure. It gives him a notion but you have plausible deniability. And don't say much when you hand it over unless you're very good at being relaxed. None of this I made too much, thought you might like it, hope you like lemon etc. Just I hope I'm not disturbing, I've been baking today, hope you enjoy and allow him to say what a kind thought and then it's his turn.

Humanswarm · 13/04/2026 16:08

Just knock on his door, ask for some sugar and then ask if he wants to join you for coffee. Way easier than the note.