AIBU to feel furious after my father ruined my new home?

That doesn't make it ok. Are you suggesting that he's incontinent and doesn't know about it? Cos I don't buy it!

And realistically, he pissed himself because he was drunk.

@Yousernane personally I wouldn't have him in my house again - meet him somewhere else.

Those pix look more like scuffed paintwork, OP...? As though he threw something or was swinging it around...?

Are you sure they weren't there before?

Or maybe just not very clear photos...

Your typo "hes slept on sofa in pussy clothes" made me smile 🤣

Whether or not these items are salvageable, it’s pretty clear that OPs lovely clean safe haven now feels tainted, and that’s understandable.
I think if the dad had dementia, OP would have mentioned that, and she’s quite right to feel repulsed by a grown man urinating all over her stuff.
OP, I’m totally with you on this. No need to let any man into your home. Dad has demonstrated that he doesn’t show the level or respect and care that you deserve. He could have offered to clean up, or pay for the damage, but he chose to let his daughter, who has been through so much, shoulder the total responsibility.

Dad’s a dickhead-never have him in the house again

Also a massive drama llama though for chucking everything.

The RSPCA has a product called Wee Away which is excellent at dealing with elderly leaks, but I understand why the op may want to get rid of the damaged items. The business feels like a deliberate marking of her home as Dad's territory, so she needs to deal with it on that level. Not to say that Dad consciously thought of it, but the human male can be an odd animal. If you think that there may be an element of that, don't let him pay for anything. Her home must be absolutely hers alone.

I'm 58 and would never behave like this.

If the house still stinks after cleaning; use a pet enzyme spray.

OP just another thought: this is why cultures around the world have traditional "cleansing" rituals to clear "bad energy" from a place using incense, smudge sticks, water, salt, stones, or sound (e.g. wind chimes, singing bowls). You can create your own ritual for this, to shoo off any stagnant, heavy, or disruptive energy and invite in clarity, calm, and protection. It doesn't matter that it sounds a bit "woo" - it's the sort of thing that can help you restore your feeling of peace and calm in your new environment.

Create 15 minutes or so to open all the windows and do something of your choice, e.g. light a scented candle, carrying it into all the corners of the room and mentally "clearing" the space.

I know it sounds bonkers but it re-establishes your sacred space.

If you can face it, you could do something similar with the throws you chucked away. Fish them out of the bin and put them in the washing machine with some extra ingredient (e.g. scent booster), and intentionally start the wash as a kind of purification ritual! Take them out when clean and treat them as wholly fresh and new! If you feel the need to, you could then run the washing machine on empty (if there is one, choose the Clean Cycle / Drum Clean / Service Wash cycle), perhaps with a cup of scent booster granules, to "restore" that too.

We can't always control the things that disrupt our harmony, but we can control the way we deal with them. This kind of "energetic hygiene" is worth practising if you find that this sort of situation really throws you off balance.

Good luck maintaining more careful boundaries in your new home. 💐

I would be upset too but 'ruined' is way over the top and chucking things out which can be washed is really wasteful. Literally throwing money away!

He’s grim! Sorry your stuff got ruined. I hope you can replace the items easily & start to enjoy your new home & life.
Ignore the posters giving you a hard time. Hugs 🤗

If you are incontinent, sleeping on someone else's sofa is contraindicated.

@Yousernane

There’s this absolutely amazing stuff - it’s called Nature’s Miracle and you can get it on Amazon.
It comes in a jug, so buy an empty spray bottle or two.
There’s no mixing, no fussing - you simply spray it on urine stains until they’re gone.
It’s for pets, but if it works on cat pee - it’ll work on anything.
I’m very sorry. ❤️

Sadly it’s clear where you developed your attraction to abusive narcissistic men.
Breaking the cycle is bloody hard. Good luck

And tell your waste of space father to piss off. Pun intended.

@Yousernane

I understand your anger, I really do. It's kind of like getting that first scratch on a new car. But I think this is a reaction based purely on emotion rather than trying to be more practical about things. But listen, if this is a thing where you feel you couldn't stand to look at the items ever again because of the way the incident made you feel and you can afford to replace them, I can understand.

But washing machines are meant to clean all sorts. And if you loved your new things why not wash them and see how they turn out? Washing a load of things that have been pissed on isn't going to make your machine unsanitary. I mean, we wash nappies and baby & kids clothes that have wee on them and no one's died from pissy washer syndrome that I know of. And I daresay that most parents have cleaned up their kids' wee (or worse) from floors or walls, too. I know, kid wee is 'different' because it's our kids. But not to a washing machine and not to a floor or a wall. Biologically, wee is wee.

As far as your dad, I wouldn't let him in my house if he's had even one ounce of alcohol, nor would I allow him to smoke in my house. If he can't respect your rules, then he wouldn't be welcome, period.

smoking in your brand new lovely house is worse than wee smells -especially if he’s drunk and could fall asleep with a lit cigarette.
perhaps meet in the park or somewhere else where he can still see your DCs but not trash your house. Well done on starting over, good luck

Ok so he’s an ex drug user, he wets himself when drunk. He’s at best wrecked his body if he’s not actually an addict now. (Which he might be. They’re good at hiding it.) I know he’s your dad but he doesn’t sound like someone who should be around kids and he’s probably the reason you’ve ended up with the wrong guys. Sorry if that sounds harsh but you want a new life and fresh start - might be another relationship to rethink.

YANBU! Piss all over the room! What the hell was he doing?!

Your dad has drug issues? He was injecting in your house?!

Op I specified appreciate this might sound like a stretch and apologies if it isn't relevant, but is there any chance your dad could be into drugs as well as drink? Only that dark stains on ceilings is pretty unusual, and it's something I've come across with IV drug users (the dark stains being blood, from a poor injection technique)
Obviously I hope it isn't anything like that but I just mention it in case you've had any suspicions, as there's lots of possible explanations for marks on walls but on the ceiling is much harder to do accidentally.

I'm sorry you've had this experience with your dad, though well done on finding your anger and setting a boundary with him.

YANBU i hate men too. Entitled, arrogant and ignorant.

Does dad have a condition? Im not understanding how he could peed so many places, and done it again in your car?

YANBU to be upset. But YABU to throw that stuff out, Id have just washed them.

Are you always this dramatic???

@Yousernane I voted "YABU" because your father pissing himself has absolutely nothing to do with him being a man.

I believe women are also capable of pissing.