AIBU to feel furious after my father ruined my new home?

This - you are bu to hate all.men.
l would be furious at your DF too, but you should have washed the items not binned them unless you can easily afford to replace them, which l assume is not the case.

I'm not negating your anger at your situation, but just wanted to point out the stuff on the ceiling might not be related. We had similar marks on bedroom ceilings following a leak in the loft (the angled bit being where it went around the joists).

I think he was disgusting and would have thrown everything he pissed on out as well in your situation. Adult alcoholic urine is the pits and on your new stuff as well. Have you insurance on your goods? If so it could be classed as accidental damage and hopefully you haven't got a high excess.

It’s clear most posters jumping in with rubbish about her dad potentially having dementia haven’t read the whole thread. He’s a 58-year-old ex drug user who got so drunk he pissed himself. He’s not a sweet old man who had an accident. Amazing how many people on this forum will find a reason to defend men whatever they do.

Classic MN - everyone having a go at the OP and NOT AT THE MAN WHO PISSED ON HER STUFF.

I think everyone can agree what her dad did was disgusting. However what people are saying is that for some who claims to have nothing she has thrown everything away rather than use a washing machine for it's intended purpose, i.e. clean things
She is complaining about human wee, which admittedly isn't great, but no doubt she will have to wash her kids clothes if and when they have accidents or wash bedding if they accidentally wet the bed.

That's really sad. It must have been horrible for you to witness.

YANBU to be furious but YABVU and wasteful not to just wash the items instead of binning them. Your reasoning on that
is ridiculous. If you were concerned you could have run the machine empty on a boil wash before washing anything else.

Just bar him. I have drunk alcohol for 70 plus years without wetting a bed. His behaviour is unacceptable

My dad used to pee on the telly so us kids couldn't watch it.

OP I remember my dad pissing himself on my sofa and just blanking me when I pointed it out. Ugh - and he arrived at my house once having shat himself and his car seat. Again no apology for smearing shit all round the bathroom when he tried to clean himself up.

Your Dad's pathetic excuse about the dog reminds me of that.

In my dad's case it was various physical problems plus probably his drinking habit. It was sad when they got so bad he couldn't visit any longer then died not long after, but I remained very angry with him for his selfishness. It saddens me to have to remember him like that but no two ways about it, it was vile and pathetic at the same time. Where was his self-respect?

I absolutely sympathise with you for being livid.

Wasn’t he pissed ? Incontinence usually isn’t a feature of dementia until the later stages.

This is awful but why on earth bin them?Its crazy to say you didnt want to use your brandnee wahing machine. This is what washing machines are for and a new one would be very efficient.
I would be angry and ban him from staying but to throw stuff away is OTT

OP l’m sorry but that’s insane. “Man’s piss running through it’ wont harm your washing machine. Detergent will get rid of the pee and the smell and you can get washing machine cleaning fluid to run through it afterwards. If you’re honest you binned them in temper and if you’ve been on the bones of your arse while getting your home together, it’s not the best solution is it ? Can you retrieve them and put them in the washing machine ? You could have your sofa professionally cleaned at home as well as the rug if it’s not washable.

Aside from that, not all men are like that, and if this is a case of your dad getting drunk and losing control then he doesn’t get over the doorstep again. If there’s a suggestion of a medical problem causing incontinence then maybe talk it through and support him getting some help.

The rug I get though I'd have stuck it in the shower and rinsed it to high heaven then drenched it in enzyme cleaner and then washed with a lot of bio laundry detergent and seen if it came out clean. I'd get the throw out of the bin and do that too and then scrub the sofa with bio laundry detergent and possibly enzyme cleaner too, you can get it cheap on Amazon or at home bargains and the like, great for pet and small human pee so should work for big humans too. I'd wash everythig I can in the washing machine then put the washing machine on a clean setting. Think of it as not letting a man take your things away from you.
I was where you are 5 years ago, which is largely why I always try clean things first to save money. Put up your boundaries even with your dad if need be but dont let anything or anyone stop your house being your safe space. Congratulations on your freedom!

Yup, if you are incontinent, you would wear an adult nappy to avoid soiling someone's soft furnishings or bring an Inco pad to line the bed/sofa.

This is an overreaction! Washing machines are made for this, it’s not going to contaminate your machine or anything

OP, does his own home smell of wee?

If so, maybe he cannot control it for whatever reason and it happens from time to time. Or he is generally a slob.

If not, then either he is/has a great cleaner or he truly had an unfortunate one-off accident in your home or does not care enough to stop himself from pissing on your territory.

He lied about it. Why would he lie? Is he embarassed or malicious?

Absolutely. If you suffer from incontinence don't get so drunk at someone else's house meaning you need to sleep over and therefore piss yourself on their furniture. Incontinence doesn't mean you get to just piss wherever you want all over the fucking place.

Sounds like dementia to me.
is that feasible?

Unpleasant and yes, highly annoying, but nothing that could not be sorted out by a washing machine and a some cleaning products.

White vinegar will get rid of urine smells, you could have put the throws in the wash with some vinegar too

Agree with previous posters that your DD has a form of dementia. What you do about it is down to you.

However you said you were short of money so why throw items away when they can be washed ?

You have children so it won’t be the only time you will be cleaning items covered in sick, pee poo ,dried on food, biro, dog or cat pooh and sick etc.

Sorry I couldn’t

YABVU to throw all that stuff away - really irresponsible

I'd wash/clean everything then I'd tell him If he visits again it's an alcohol free zone. No alcohol at all before or during visit.