to find childfree comments on parenting forums insensitive?

On the food banks thread a comment on the very first page describes a child free single person being told that they wernt considered priority for help. Its things like this that piss childfree ppl off and thats why its good to have a board to discuss these things

I was friends with a lesbian couple. One used to always say how if she had kids they would be disciplined (while slagging off her brother's parenting) and the other always made a point of saying how she was so glad she didn't have kids. I'm so glad I'm no longer in contact

OP is talking about threads that are specifically about a parenting issue.

Out of curiosity…how did you get signposted to MN in the first instance in your 20s?

I wouldn't have thought about going on a site that had mum (or dad) in its name if I wasn't thinking about a parenting or pregnancy/conception issue, personally. Yes, I know a lot of the issues could be Reddit/Bored Panda AIBU things, but you wouldn't necessarily expect people on those to be parents/considering becoming parents.

Well said, and there are several examples of those vitriolic responses on this thread as well as on pretty much every thread on the childfree board. I really don’t understand why some posters are so arsey and defensive about childfree people.

But unfortunately they will and want. I don’t have have much to do with my parents but the legacy will make sure I will. Your children care about you and want you to have best care available.

I agree OP. I dont think its insensitive as such, its just being a dick. It's not just a child free thing either. People do that same about relationships 'that's why I'm single ha ha'. I have definitely noticed it on the parenting related threads most though. I've also noticed the opposite when someone is not happy with their life minimising the OPs issues'at least you can have children..' or 'my Mum died, you shouldn't criticise yours' or the constant one when someone is talking about holidays or renovations 'there is a COL crisis, you are so insensitive etc'. There are a lot of nasty and stupid people on MN, nothing better to do with their time. Best ignore them

Sorry, but your username has distracted me and made me want to push you into a swimming pool wearing shoulder pads, a bouffant hairdo and a lot of diamonds. (Never clear why Krystle and Alexis were always fighting over ghastly Blake, who was always killing his unfortunate son's lovers or feigning blindness to spy on people and disowning dozens of unknown adult children who just keep appearing like some kind of mad conveyor belt...)

Oh, the glamour of Dynasty...

Wouldn't be a problem....

I got addicted to looking up general life advice on mumsnet in my late twenties before I even knew what childfree was. And then reading about all the shit husbands and wild kids on here slowly but surely cemented my decision to not have children as I entered my 30s. So thanks Mumsnet! 😃 I just haven't broken my scrolling habits on here despite designating my uterus as a no go zone.

I do agree in general about posting unhelpful opinions on sensitive threads but people just love to voice their opinions whether wanted or not. Such is life and the Internet.

Tbf that would only be comparable if mumsnet had only child related discussions. It doesn't.

I don't understand the "who will look after you in your old age" type comments. I have a child and he won't be looking after me! I hope he will out living his life.

So am I legitimate, but others aren’t? Or am I ‘odd’, in your words? I find policing of membership of this very extensive forum distasteful. It is a very large, primarily female forum which is rare enough that it makes it attractive to a wide range of women. It is by now barely about parenting at all. If you can’t see beyond parenting that says more about you than me.

My best friend is children. I have two teens and it has been tough. Two SS referrals of our family and aftermath. I can see it’s easy for to leave dinner dishes for tomorrow which wouldn’t work for us. She made her choices and we ours. I never oversaturate her our problems. But she herself has raised questions who should take care of her when she is old. Difficult question.

Your intention was to have children, that's what brought you here in the first place. You didn't come to mumsnet looking for advice about gardening, menopause or other aspects of your life at the time, did you?

Yes, there are many sub forums on here that are helpful. I'm not saying it's not. I'm saying I find it weird that anybody would come on here for advice about anything other than parenthood to begin with, especially those who have made the conscious decision to not have children. That's it.

If I need advice on building work, I'll be on Mybuilder.
If I need advice on accountancy/taxes, I'll go to Sage forums.
If I need advice on travel, I would be looking on Tripadvisor.

My go to would not be mumsnet, that is all.

I'm not saying they cant post, I'm just saying I find it odd. :)

Hard agree. We’ve had people coming on the Mumsnetters Without Children board saying “you may not regret your choice now,but mark my words you will when you get old and lonely”.

Some of the responses do seem to be suggesting that though.

I joined here originally when I was trying to conceive and having trouble.

I came back when I was looking for tips on removing a stain from a carpet. I have posted on threads relating to property, diy, gardening, relationships, books, tv, food, Christmas, education, health, travel. Which of those require me to have a child in order to comment?

The menopause boards have helped me through one of the worst experiences of my life. Do I need to have had a child to be valid there?

I have also offered advice to others using my professional skills and knowledge, unrelated to parenting. Would you consider that advice invalid because I don’t have a child?

The parenting boards here are vastly outnumbered by other boards. This community is valuable when it works well because it includes a huge number of woman from all backgrounds and walks of life. Excluding MNers without children would be ridiculous.

Now, can you reflect a bit on how that last, nasty comment would land with one of the many women here who have been on these boards while struggling with infertility and are childfree not by choice?

In my experience there is nothing so vitriolic on these boards as a parent who has decided to come on the MNers without children boards to give us all a good scolding. I honestly have rarely seen the sort of post the OP talks about, but sheer nastiness from parents towards childless and childfree women on any part of this forum is widespread and commonplace.

A woman I work with is child-free, and she never shuts up about it.
Who’s she trying to convince??

The other day, she said that she wanted to go on a holiday during term time, and her friend has 2 children at primary school.
So, it’s out of the question for her pal.

My colleague’s response to that was: well, you had kids! It’s your own fault if you can’t go on term time holidays’.

I can only imagine the look on her friend’s face when she heard that.
It’s just a witless thing to say.

I find it absolutely bizarre that people who "choose to be childfree" and are happy about it, would even bother frequenting a forum like mumsnet.

It's like me being vegan then joining a steak forum for the community just to go on about how much I don't want to eat steak!

There are a couple of posters who regularly pop up on threads about children's behaviour and childcare who are childfree and don't like children. Just fuck off. I get that "mumsnet by parents for parents" has subforums that do not relate to parenting that maybe of interest. But I don't understand the need to post on threads about children to let us all know how much you dislike them.