to find childfree comments on parenting forums insensitive?

And I would ask why people choose to have children and are ecstatic about that fact, but then deliberately seek out the MNers without children board and scold the women there for not having children, telling them they’ve never had meaning in their lives, will never know what real love is, that nobody will care for them when they are old, and that they are parasites whose pensions will be paid by the posters’ children.

Why? Why choose to have kids and then deliberately seek out threads about not having them?

Arseholes are arseholes wherever you find them.

You sound like you excuse arseholery as long as it’s demonstrated by parents. To be honest you sound like you have the potential to be one of them.

Yes I can reflect perfectly well thanks! My comments are about people who choose to be child free and join in on threads where a mother is having a hard time only to spout off pointless things such as the OP described saying "thank goodness I chose not to have kids tee tee!" I am not referring to people who are childless when they dont want to be, I am referring to people specifically bragging about how relieved they are to not have children. If you read what I had written you would get that.

I have seen such posts many times on here because I often peruse threads where people are talking about having kids, and thats because I also have them hence why I am on that thread in the first place.

My point is- I dont know why on earth people who are gloriously happy about being child free- so much so that they like to brag about their child free freedom online would seek out threads on here specifically where mums are asking for childcare advice. Why?- why choose not to have kids and then deliberately seek out threads about kids? 🤣

You mustn’t have explored much of the site then, tbh. Even though you’re here on AIBU, where the vast majority of threads have nothing to do with parenting. Have you seen the style and beauty forum? The litter tray? Relationships? Sex? Money matters? AMA? Chat? Legal matters? Homes and gardens? DIY? Telly addicts? etc etc.

The fact is that this site has evolved far beyond a parenting site and the vast majority of threads have nothing to do with parenting, and being a parent doesn’t give posters any special expertise or knowledge in relation to the topic.

I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out, tbh. It’s not complicated.

But is it fine if we are childfree but not by choice?

Most of the boards on here are nothing to do with being a mum or parenting.

The clue is in the name of the site.

What don’t you get about it?

I was on here for years before I became a parent. Caitlin Moran did a column about AIBU that got me hooked. But I didn't get involved in parenting threads as it wasn't relevant to me.
The 'this is exactly why I didn't have children' posters are tedious beyond belief.

But most of the threads aren't about kids, really. The title is misleading but they won't change it now for branding reasons. Surely you can see that? There's huge sections dedicated to pets/health/shopping/relationships etc. It isn't solely for mums at all. The most read topic is about elderly parents. The second is employment related.

But most of the threads aren't about kids, really. The title is misleading but they won't change it now for branding reasons. Surely you can see that? There's huge sections dedicated to pets/health/shopping/relationships etc. It isn't solely for mums at all

I don’t love that thread either, but there are a lot of threads on MN I also don’t like. Just hide the threads / boards that bother you. Makes for a much nicer experience.

What did you find nasty about it?

usually about how they don't get enough sex.

Why is this so accurate 🤣

Also agree. To be honest, I think it says more about them than anything else. Doesn't upset me but an unkind mindset. People do understand that children aren't an option for everyone, right?

It happens on all threads really.
I remember a thread on Father's Day devoted to people who were LC/NC with their fathers. Many comments were along the lines of "I wish my dad was still alive" and gushing about how great he was... on a thread where people were talking about abuse etc.

Mumsnet is for everyone. How many boards on here are actually about parenting? They are vastly outnumbered by boards that are not.

This ☝️

I found the thread titled “So relieved I didn’t have children’ to be insensitive, as below.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters/5451801-so-relieved-i-didnt-have-children

This is quite disturbing thread. I think it has no place on a Mumsnet forum even in the childfree space. It’s excessively nasty.

“It would be like me going onto a forum for people who can’t have children and saying “well I’ve got three and it’s amazing”, it is just completely insensitive to the situation and adds nothing.”

Have a look on the MNeters Without Children board and you’ll see loads of comments from smug mothers butting into posts and saying exactly what you’ve quoted, which is horribly insensitive to those like me who have had miscarriages, a still birth and years of unsuccessful IVF attempts.
I agree with you that it’s annoying and unnecessary for childfree people to pop up smugly on threads where parents are struggling, but it works both ways.

I really don’t know why the child-free by choice people are on here. I don’t get it.

In my experience, the people most likely to hector people about good parenting practice are other parents - including my own! And my bloody grandma when she was around!!

She was forever harping on about what useless parents her children and grandchildren had turned out to be, and how her descendants were all insufferable brats as a result.

Being a sanctimonious twat / child-hating grouch is not the sole preserve of the childfree by any means.

I have to agree. 95% of people are lovely. But once in a while… I was called hollow once on a thread because ‘there is nothing like a love between a mother and a child’. So I’m a second class citizen because my reproductive system doesn’t work. The weird thing is - my BRAIN does, particularly compared to that 5%.

PS. Drink your weak lemon drink NOW!

It's a bit of a dick move but there are also posts that would legitimately annoy childfree posters to be fair.

This is not a valid argument to the OPs point?!

It’s like saying people say mean things about fat people but that’s ok because they also say mean things about skinny people. They are both not ok.

It works both ways. There are many comments in the vein of "having DC is the best thing ever, you don't know what real love is if you don't have them", on the childfree board. A board where some posters are not childfree by choice, so parents can be just as insensitive.

Probably a google search. That's how I found MN. Quite often if I search for something re house, garden, diet etc, then on the first page of Google there will be a MN link.