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Original poster

to find childfree comments on parenting forums insensitive?

233 replies

HazelMember · 13/04/2026 11:03

I’ve noticed this a lot lately. Someone will post saying they’re struggling with their DC. Maybe they’re exhausted, dealing with behaviour, feeling overwhelmed, trying to keep them entertained with school holidays. childcare stuff.

Someone pops up with “this is why I’m childfree” or “so glad I dodged that bullet”

I just don’t get the need to say it. Nobody is asking you to justify your life choices. It’s not a debate about whether having children is worth it.

It would be like me going onto a forum for people who can’t have children and saying “well I’ve got three and it’s amazing”, it is just completely insensitive to the situation and adds nothing.

I’m not saying people can’t be childfree or be happy about it, obviously. But there’s a time and place. When someone is clearly struggling, it comes across a bit smug and lacking in empathy.

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 13/04/2026 11:26

I think it's a twattish thing to say to someone having difficulties with their kids (and I say this as a CF by choice woman).

But as another poster has mentioned, just about every CF thread has at least one poster declaring that you don't understand love until you have a child, makes you a better person, my life had no meaning etc.

I think just about every thread descends into this eventually.

Dermatologically · 13/04/2026 11:22

Arlanymor · 13/04/2026 11:08

I think it's across all threads. For example, someone mentions the pressures of work and someone else says: "That's why I would never be a teacher/stockbroker/supermarket worker."

Or: "What are you getting your mother for Mother's Day? and the response is "I hate mine so much and we are NC thank goodness so absolutely nothing."

It's rife. But it's also just life, people use the place to vent.

Edited

I agree. It's tedious but it's everywhere. I wish people would just stay in their lane sometimes. If you have no personal experience of something, don't add a pointless inane post to a thread.

Crikeyalmightey · 13/04/2026 11:11

There's all sorts of people on this site. A whole variety of personalities, experience, intelligence and knowledge. Some empathetic, some not so much. You cannot take any of it personally. That way madness lies.

TeenLifeMum · 13/04/2026 11:09

I don’t know, I think it’s a legitimate choice to be child free so don’t bother me. I chose to have dc and sometimes that’s really hard. I’m sure people used to look at me with 3 under 4 (including twins) and consolidated their child free status.

Knotgrass · 13/04/2026 11:09

This might blow your mind, OP, but there’s a busy ‘Mners Without Children board on here, and many childfree and childless posters who post prolifically all over Mn. Which is certainly not just a ‘parenting forum’.

Arlanymor · 13/04/2026 11:08

I think it's across all threads. For example, someone mentions the pressures of work and someone else says: "That's why I would never be a teacher/stockbroker/supermarket worker."

Or: "What are you getting your mother for Mother's Day? and the response is "I hate mine so much and we are NC thank goodness so absolutely nothing."

It's rife. But it's also just life, people use the place to vent.

TittyGajillions · 13/04/2026 11:07

But people do come on to childfree by choice threads and say 'well I've got three and it's amazing '. See also you never know real love until you have children, childfree life is so pointless etc etc etc.

Credittocress · 13/04/2026 11:05

There was a post recently asking about grandparents providing childcare-and one poster said that they don’t understand adults who need “all this support” and they were childfree. Well that isn’t exactly the most helpful perspective