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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

House guests…

35 replies

houseguestsaibu · 13/04/2026 09:10

Aibu regarding house guests?

Got family staying for a week at the moment (I know a week is hell in mumsnet terms!)
Normally I like to get up around 6/7am and sit with a coffee and my book for a hour or two till the kids are up. I don’t want to make small talk, I don’t want to talk or be hassled.
Our house guests soon as they hear me move, immediately jump out of bed and try and start conversations like why?! I don’t want to be hassled this early on in the day it actually makes the day feel a hell a lot longer too especially when entertaining guests. They don’t have kids so no need to jump up.

aibu to think it’s bad equiete to bug your hosts this early in the day?

OP posts:
Original poster
houseguestsaibu · 13/04/2026 09:21

ColdAsAWitches · 13/04/2026 09:20

And yet again, another simple problem that could be solved BY HAVING A CONVERSATION! Just tell them you like your morning quiet time.

I have.

OP posts:
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 13/04/2026 09:21

I think they may feel they have to get up because you have.

Just tell them there's no need for them to do that.

ColdAsAWitches · 13/04/2026 09:20

And yet again, another simple problem that could be solved BY HAVING A CONVERSATION! Just tell them you like your morning quiet time.

Hadenough32 · 13/04/2026 09:19

Coffee in a flask made night before and left next to your bed with your book ready for the morn. But I would say it's normal for guests to talk to their hosts when they're both up and awake.

Catza · 13/04/2026 09:19

I think it is bad etiquette to expect people to guess what your preferences are and get annoyed at them when they don't. Your preferences can be carefully worded i.e. "Maggie, please don't feel that you have to get up early to keep me company. I quite enjoy having some time to myself for an hour or so before everyone is up".

Original poster
houseguestsaibu · 13/04/2026 09:19

weareallcats · 13/04/2026 09:16

My mum used to do this when she stayed over - I also really dislike it. Can you make a coffee and go back to bed to read? That’s what I ended up doing!

Yes I do and they seem put out as I go back to bed for a bit but then I feel guilty and feel like I need to get up as they’re up, they know they don’t need to get up I have said it every day that please don’t get up because I am and I am happy for them to have a lie in especially if the kids are asleep!

When I visit them they don’t get up early so it’s a bit baffling to me. Grin Maybe I should insist that they book a B&B next time lol! They are great guests other than this I just feel exhausted as I don’t get time to wake up properly. I am autistic aswell which they know and know I need a bit of “me” time to get me through the day!

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 13/04/2026 09:18

They might well be muttering under their breath; "ffs, why does she get up so bloody early, s'pose we'll have to get up now - just wanna sleep for a bit longer"
So, you might be doing everyone a favour if you tell them they don't need to get up when they hear you.
And don't be polite about it, as the politeness itself often extends the duration of the behaviour.
Just tell them you sit for an hour with coffee and a book and don't want to chat at that time. 😀

weareallcats · 13/04/2026 09:16

My mum used to do this when she stayed over - I also really dislike it. Can you make a coffee and go back to bed to read? That’s what I ended up doing!

1980isitjustme · 13/04/2026 09:14

I think some people feel rude lying in bed knowing the host is up. Having said that, I’m with you - I really struggle with guests at breakfast time and just want some space at that point.

Bunnyotter1896 · 13/04/2026 09:14

Hmmm if they disturbed you whilst sleeping I would agree with you but talking to you after you get up...no. I would say thats normal. They are there to spend time with you are they not? I would feel guilty staying in bed after I herd you awake. Maybe just say fyi please dont feel you need to get up early because I do.