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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can’t decide whether this is empowering or a little bit sad

68 replies

Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 20:47

Kids left home 10 years ago. I text alot but they’re not great at keeping in touch. DH works shifts and left today at 1pm, and will get home around midnight. So, another night alone for me. I thought sod it, I’m going to have take-out. I ordered a meal for one from the Chinese. Quite expensive I thought at £9. Anyway, not a problem, I can afford it. Went along and felt a bit weird coming out with a bag with one container inside! Ate the meal and washed it down with wine. I can’t decide if this is the epitome of lushness, or if it’s all a bit sad that I’m doing this alone. 😵‍💫

OP posts:
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EveyHammond · 13/04/2026 00:26

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Zippidydoodah · 13/04/2026 00:12

I wasn’t sure how to vote as you’re not being unreasonable to do this, but you are being unreasonable to think it’s sad?! 🤣

Just in case that wasn’t clear, it sounds bloody wonderful to me, OP. I hope you enjoyed!

PollyBell · 13/04/2026 00:08

Its foodi i don't get what empowering about it?

EveyHammond · 13/04/2026 00:00

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nomas · 12/04/2026 23:59

Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 21:11

We get take aways a lot! At least once a week. It was more about just getting a dish for one. As I don’t normally do it alone. Felt good in that I can affford it. But also a bit sad thinking back to all the times I came out with a huge bag because the kids were still at home. I maybe haven’t articulated myself very well. That’ll be the wine 😂

How do you think single people manage?

Are you one of those people who can’t go to the cinema alone or eat in a restaurant alone? It’s not cute.

TopazQuartz · 12/04/2026 23:56

Not getting what is sad about getting a takeout alone. It's independence isn't it.

TwoBagsOfCompost · 12/04/2026 23:54

We don’t have children and my partner works shifts and I regularly order food for myself, I’ve never thought anything of it!

ThatFairy · 12/04/2026 23:50

Yeah I know, it's just my son has only very recently came out as bi and has a new boyfriend, think I am still processing it as I don't think I've used the term, "his boyfriend" yet in conversation. Well, there I have now, anyway. Idk it's hard to explain. It's not a negative thing but I will admit it did shock me and I'm still kind of getting used to it. He's a lovely boy though I like him

@Isittimeformynapyet

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 12/04/2026 23:33

New chapter so lots of new things.
Good for you

TheeNotoriousPIG · 12/04/2026 23:09

I'm another one who lives alone. Occasionally I get takeaway pizza (it's one of two places in the nearest town that will deliver this far out), and it's sometimes nice to not have to cook a meal or two, especially on the days when I've forgotten to take something out of the freezer to defrost!

youalright · 12/04/2026 22:52

Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 22:01

Oh dear , just finished my second bottle of wine! I got a massage thingy for Christmas, it looks like a rubber pair of hands. I go to bed and put it on my hips 😝 I’ve been watching the Huw Edwards film but I’m not going to make it to the end 😂

I really hope im misunderstanding comment

youalright · 12/04/2026 22:50

I had a Chinese the other night alone partner and oldest 2 where out and 2 littlest where in bed. But mine was £20.

ThePoshUns · 12/04/2026 22:39

Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 22:01

Oh dear , just finished my second bottle of wine! I got a massage thingy for Christmas, it looks like a rubber pair of hands. I go to bed and put it on my hips 😝 I’ve been watching the Huw Edwards film but I’m not going to make it to the end 😂

Ok now that’s got a bit weird. You do you . Literally. Good night.

monkeysox · 12/04/2026 22:18

Chocaholick · 12/04/2026 20:48

Op, enjoy it! Think of all those times dinner was scraping baked beans off the floor and out of a toddler’s hair.

Id do it any chance I got. Enjoy

freedomformeismotherhood · 12/04/2026 22:18

Catlady007007 · 12/04/2026 20:52

I think your take out food was remarkably cheap!!!

That's what i was thinking 😄😄

JacknDiane · 12/04/2026 22:18

Its a mindset isn't it. Sometimes its just hard getting into a positive mindset.

I get it op

Delphiniumandlupins · 12/04/2026 22:17

I have had a solo Chinese takeaway this evening. My DH is away overnight. My only guilt is because he was supposed to be away for 2 nights and I was going to have takeaway and leftovers and I was a bit grumpy because it got cut to one night!

Isittimeformynapyet · 12/04/2026 22:16

ThatFairy · 12/04/2026 21:05

I often eat takeaways alone... I'm alone all the time as well. I'm a single mum and my 18 year old stays at his partner's most nights the last few months. I really feel like I need something to do. I think I just made my whole life about being a mum, didn't date, lost touch with friends. I want to try to turn things around for myself this year

Off piste, but I just can't get used to 18 year olds having "partners" instead of boy/girlfriends. I'm getting old!

@Blondiebeachbabe I absolutely love being on my own.

Somehow, cooking for one seems far more pointless (or "sadder" than getting a takeaway. I hope you really enjoyed your evening.

PiggieWig · 12/04/2026 22:05

I’ll often have a takeaway washed down with wine on my own. Well, the cat is partial to a prawn cracker too, but I’m happy to share with him.

QuickPinkFox · 12/04/2026 22:04

People who live alone/are single etc are allowed to have takeaways. In fact…they do! And enjoy them!

Considering eating alone to be ‘sad’ is bizarre in my opinion - as if you can’t conceive people exist happily living their lives outside of couples/family units?

Same goes for theatre and cinema trips, eating out, going for a walk at a stately home…all these other things that sometimes crop up on here. For the record, these are all things it is perfectly possible and normal behaviour to do and enjoy on one’s own.

Original poster
Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 22:01

Oh dear , just finished my second bottle of wine! I got a massage thingy for Christmas, it looks like a rubber pair of hands. I go to bed and put it on my hips 😝 I’ve been watching the Huw Edwards film but I’m not going to make it to the end 😂

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 12/04/2026 21:59

I used to work long shifts and lived on my own. My train stop had a Chinese takeaway right next door so there was more than one occasion when I’d pick up a takeaway on my way home. Only difference was I’d get something for 2 people and have it the next night too. In your position I’d probably have got more than one portion because my
DH would be disappointed to miss the leftovers when he got in.

Original poster
Blondiebeachbabe · 12/04/2026 21:58

DreamyJade · 12/04/2026 21:57

Mine are also grown up, but when they were young they used to go to their Dad’s every other Saturday. I’d get two days off a month from work and DCs, and I would clean the house from top to bottom, do all the washing and ironing and do the big shop. Then I’d get a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of wine and watch a film on my own.

It sounds really pathetic, but I absolutely loved those Saturdays.

That sounds like bliss!!

OP posts:
DreamyJade · 12/04/2026 21:57

Mine are also grown up, but when they were young they used to go to their Dad’s every other Saturday. I’d get two days off a month from work and DCs, and I would clean the house from top to bottom, do all the washing and ironing and do the big shop. Then I’d get a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of wine and watch a film on my own.

It sounds really pathetic, but I absolutely loved those Saturdays.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 12/04/2026 21:56

I occasionally do this and consider it a very indulgent luxury! It'd honestly never occurred to me it was sad.