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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to tell MIL to stop criticising DS’s fake tan?

111 replies

Sam155320 · 12/04/2026 18:13

DS had a fake tan today, MIL expressed in an indirect way non stop about how it doesn’t look good. Should we have told her to stop after 3 times of telling her to

OP posts:
Sharptonguedwoman · 13/04/2026 07:46

Because his parents have, quite rightly taught him to be polite and respectful to grandparents. The problem here is that granny is neither polite nor respectful.

ItsameLuigi · 13/04/2026 07:44

Screamingabdabz · 12/04/2026 18:38

Oh a bit of granny being non-pc and taking the piss out of the grandchildren is all part of the rich tapestry of families surely?

Lmao yes it is. My granny (a 70 year old Scottish lady) rips on me all the time for being alternative 🤣. Insults my piercings (I have a stretched septum she despises) and we just have banter because I realise it's her way of loving me 🤣🤣

Sassylovesbooks · 13/04/2026 07:42

Context here is the key. Is your MIL commenting because your son is wearing fake tan? Or is she commenting because it's been poorly applied and looks dreadful? The two are vastly different.

If it's the first, then your son needs to tell his grandmother, that she may not agree with men wearing fake tan, but that doesn't give her the right to criticise his choices and she should keep her opinions to herself.

If it's because it's been poorly applied and looks dreadful, then as a Mum you need take a honest look, does she have a point? Is your son going to have the piss taken out of him?

Sugargliderwombat · 13/04/2026 07:36

ExOptimist · 12/04/2026 18:35

I think any man who has a fake tan deserves to be ridiculed. Surely his friends are going to take the piss anyway. If his grandma's comments annoy him he can tell her himself, doesn't need mummy to do it for him.

Plenty of men sunbed. This is better. Good for him doing whatever the hell he wants, I'd let him know he has permission to tell her to piss off himself.

DuchessofStaffordshire · 13/04/2026 07:33

LazyTiger26 · 12/04/2026 23:14

You can tell fake tans from a mile off and the various oranges makes me giggle but hey whatever floats your boat

You can never be too orange!

Dollymylove · 13/04/2026 07:21

Grannies are put on earth to advise their grandchildren they look daft "what in the name of the Lord are you wearing" was my Nans usual phrase when I was a teenager 🤣

LilyCanna · 13/04/2026 07:18

I’m surprised that the opinion on this thread is that it would be wrong for mum to speak up and advise gran to give it a rest. On the threads I’ve seen where someone’s complaining about their MIL criticising them, the consensus is that the DH should have a word. People don’t say ‘well you’re an adult so should defend yourself and actually maybe she has a point’.

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 13/04/2026 07:17

Oh come on he’s 25, it must look really crap for her to repeat it.

BananagramBadger · 13/04/2026 07:17

I’m surprised that so many people are claiming that fake tan is not a thing anymore. I am ‘a ghostly pale’ and have never once been told I am now on trend.

RedToothBrush · 13/04/2026 07:14

TwilightSkies · 12/04/2026 18:43

I’m surprised posters think that granny’s rudeness is ok.
When is it ever ok to be nasty about someone’s appearance?
Im sure if he critiqued her appearance in retaliation , posters would call him rude.

Granny's rudeness is not ok.

It is however not up to Mummy to intervene on behalf of her 25 year old adult son.

MidLifeMayhem · 13/04/2026 07:13

Sorry I meant to attach to another post, I meant out of touch for thinking young men don’t fake tan, all my sons friends do and so does he.

Firesidechatter · 13/04/2026 07:11

Well obvs she shouldn’t tell him but I’m guessing he’s quite fake tanned looking and she’s not wrong.😂

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/04/2026 07:10

TwilightSkies · 12/04/2026 18:43

I’m surprised posters think that granny’s rudeness is ok.
When is it ever ok to be nasty about someone’s appearance?
Im sure if he critiqued her appearance in retaliation , posters would call him rude.

This. I thought giving unasked for opinions on someone's appearance was always wrong.

Knotgrass · 13/04/2026 07:07

Ferrissia · 13/04/2026 03:55

My grandmother behaved similarly when I got a new haircut (early 20s). My mum was there and she said nothing. I would have loved it if she had stuck up for me.

And were you gagged, so that you couldn’t just say ‘Give it a rest, Gran’ yourself?

Dollymylove · 13/04/2026 07:00

Sorry but if any of my sons in their 20s walked in sporting a fake tan I would be bent double with laughter 😃 😀

Hohumitsreallyallthereis · 13/04/2026 06:39

Stop babying your 25 year old!

DripDripAprilshower · 13/04/2026 06:22

I think any man who has a fake tan deserves to be ridiculed

Just men?

Zanatdy · 13/04/2026 05:59

I’d have said ok enough, we heard you the first, second and third time.

QuirkyHorse · 13/04/2026 05:55

My dm is a nasty bitch, my kids know to take her criticism with a pinch of salt.
Tell your ds to let it wash over him.

Tourmalines · 13/04/2026 05:08

Where has everyone’s minds gone that they can’t think for themselves. Why even ask the question weather you should tell her to stop . Are people so unsure of how to react to situations that they need validation on the most simple things .

JayJayj · 13/04/2026 04:09

ExOptimist · 12/04/2026 18:35

I think any man who has a fake tan deserves to be ridiculed. Surely his friends are going to take the piss anyway. If his grandma's comments annoy him he can tell her himself, doesn't need mummy to do it for him.

WTF! Surely we don’t encourage bullying anymore? Just because he’s male he can’t get a fake tan. You need to take a long look in the mirror and reflect on your values.

RunningOnEmptyish · 13/04/2026 04:01

ExOptimist · 12/04/2026 18:35

I think any man who has a fake tan deserves to be ridiculed. Surely his friends are going to take the piss anyway. If his grandma's comments annoy him he can tell her himself, doesn't need mummy to do it for him.

What a load of sexist shite.

Ferrissia · 13/04/2026 03:55

My grandmother behaved similarly when I got a new haircut (early 20s). My mum was there and she said nothing. I would have loved it if she had stuck up for me.

IberianLynx · 13/04/2026 03:33

Strange behaviour all round, where was this? In Essex?

SaltyandSweet · 13/04/2026 03:07

I voted YABU only because he is an adult and should be able to say knock it off for himself. You doing it for him would be a bit weird