How stressful is it being an executor of a will?

I work in a solicitors, mostly in probate, if one of the beneficiaries could start an argument in an empty room I strongly advise you to walk away. There are personal risks involved for you in being executor anyway that I wouldn’t advise anyone to take on unless they’re personally benefitting from the Will.

I am currently acting as executor of my father’s will - he died last October.
The actual will is very straightforward, everything to me and £10k to each of my three adult children, but the procedure of applying for probate is horrendous and has cost me many sleepless nights.
If you haven’t paid any IHT due by the end of the sixth month following the death they charge you interest and probate won’t be granted until the tax has been paid.
In my situation dad owned a flat upon which I’m racking up nearly £500 pcm in service etc charges which will all have to be settled out if his estate.
There wasn’t really anyone else to be executor and I wouldn’t have refused but it’s not easy.
One tip, when my mother died five years ago her estate was handled by a solicitor and the bill was nearly £5k. For dad I obtained all the valuations etc needed and my accountant is submitting probate. The bill is £2k.

I'd say it depends on the complexity of the estate. A property to sell, or other assets such as cars, or IHT to pay, will make it more difficult, and could lead to disputes about value if the heirs think the house has been sold too cheaply If the estate just consists of bank and other financial accounts/bills/contracts it is much more straightforward. Eventually you will end up with an amount of money that you use for paying expenses and debts, then split according to the will.

Of course there could be valuables that they don't want to sell and aren't listed in the will, so they might argue over that, such as who gets granddad's watch or mum's diamond ring. Can't help you there.

If nothing in the Will bring left to you.It sounds like a massive hassle. Just resign form the role of Executor.
Simple as that.

If you're close, it's bloody awful.

Not because it's technically difficult but because of the number of idiots you have to speak to, and the number of times you have to re-explain that your loved one has died. It really does break you over and over again.

How complicated is the will ?
How much is the estate ?

We have done it on a small but fairly complicated estate and it was fine. We did have some to and fro with the tax and pensions.

However it wasn't too bad you tot everything op ,pay debts and then pay the blueberries.

My dad died nearly 2 years ago , myself & my brother were executors, thought it would be a doddle, bloody nightmare, everything was left to mum, but because dad had accounts in just his name it was like opening pandoras box, extremely stressful & at a time when you just want to grieve, in the end we got Lloyds bank to take it over. Took a year for probate.

As Executor, you can appoint a solicitor to assist you. Also, you are not obliged to disclose Will contents until probate is granted.

Renounce renounce renounce.

I have told my executor (and the kids) that she is to phone around and find a solicitor that works best for the circumstances of the time.

Closing bank accounts etc is easy, cancel bills. Then use a solicitor (usually fixed fee, about £1,500-£2,000 including VAT) or the rest. They'll do taxes and divide everything up. They'll sometimes charge by the hour if there's banking invovled. Open an executors account, any money banks want to transfer on closing can go in there, and bills on the estate can be paid from there

The new pension rules re IHT look hellish. There will probably be a lot less non professional executors appointed when those come in.

I did it on my own twice for my mum and dad who were divorced. I thought it would be very hard and complicated but it wasn’t. I feel proud that I did that for my parents. Solicitors will charge a lot - money that should go to the beneficiaries.

Asked my brother about this as he sorted my mums will ( he was only named executor)

He said it wasn't difficult to do . Mum had a house to sell and was leaving different amounts of money to her kids. But it would've been easier on a will from someone less close

He was also the main beneficiary by a long way

Interestingly enough my dad's will which left everything to my youngest sister ( except house with automatically went to his wife ) was given to another sister to be the executor and she handed it to a solicitor as she lived abroad

All depends on the complexity, ie assets to sell, esp houses, can be complicated, the beneficiaries can argue about what it sells for/how to max out the price etc etc, same with any investments the testator has.

Also how assets are split too can cause arguments.

I was executor once and it was stressful, caused arguments, involved a great deal of time.

If selling a property, the usual questions about which offer to accept. What to do with an unsold property in tetms of maintenance. How hard to look for aunt Edna who was left the pearl ring. Etc.

Well exactly. Thats what Im saying. Why would you take this on when it does not affect you for a couple of thousand from the estate to be spent on legal fees.

If you're not doing the actual work then why would you want to be involved at all since you're the one who will get the stick from the beneficiaries. Just hand it to a law firm.

But also no skin off OP’s nose if some of the estate goes to the solicitor. This is what I’d do if you’re wanting to carry on but nervous of the responsibility OP.

It’s not too bad if it’s just paper work, sorting pensions/bank accounts etc. But proper hard work if there’s a house to sell…Odd not to have the beneficiary’s as the executors really.

But why would you? The OP isn't a beneficiary. She gains nothing from doing this apart from the stress and hassle of being involved with potentially bickering relatives. She can just refuse and then a law firm will do it.

There is nothing to stop the OP from being the executor and hiring a solicitor. The estate will then pay the solicitor fees.

Do not do it. My DH is a solicitor and was the executor for his uncles estate. It took a ridiculous amount of time and its a lot of responsibility. I wouldn't do it for anyone other than a parent.

You get nothing from it except stress and losing your free time (and potentially being sued) - just so that your friend's children can avoid solicitors fees on the estate.

@Greengage1983 The parent was wise enough to nominate executors outwith their own children, precisely because they foresaw possible issues.

It is not as simple as, you as the executor, "just" administering the will to the letter of the law.

Family members can contest a will or challenge an executor's decisions if they believe the will is invalid, the executor is acting unfairly, or they haven't been properly provided for.

Given that the children will likely be problematic, it should give you pause for thought.

This site may help with your decision

for me it would depend on

• how straightforward the estate would generally be to administer. Some cash in an account and basic person belongings is one thing, having to sell a house is more difficult and requires judgment.
• how big is the estate - would it eat a lot of it to get a professional to do it
• is there unhelpful ambiguity in the will
• who the deceased was - more likely to do it for a sibling than a remote cousin I rarely met.

if I was then going to do it I would be reading the riot act to the recipients that I would be tolerating no nonsense and did they agree to that.

If the will is straightforward it’s not difficult. DH is currently doing it for a friend whose husband didn’t leave a will. It’s a nightmare because he had kids from his first marriage and also adopted his second wife’s daughter. Add into the mix the widow living in one country, the daughter in another and the two boys elsewhere…

I've done it three times and didn't find it too onerous but had very straightforward wills and compliant beneficiaries, I also enjoy admin (there's a lot). In your circs I think I would be instructing a solicitor.

It depends on the will and how straightforward it is. I've done it and it was easy because there was only two beneficiaries and it was equal.
Like PP have said you can instruct a solicitor. They charge a percentage of the entire estate so if you're talking property this could be a lot