Worried for our future as an only child

I understand where you’re coming from totally. DH and I are still together but there’s only really his parents and his sister (who has no interest in a relationship/children) on DH’s side. On my side, my brother has two girls who are of a similar age and we try to nurture that relationship as much of possible but their mother is also from a different country and there’s every chance either the family or the girls will move there at some point in the future. But there’s not much I can do about it other than try to keep myself as healthy as possible and try to bring DS up to be as resilient as he can be.

I know quite a few people worry about this but if I can offer an alternative view... sometimes having more people to involve/consult/share decisions and logistics with can actually be harder.. especially as people often live further away from eachother and have very different lives by time critical things need doing ans deciding later in life! That's even if they are all fairly normal and amicable, worse still if things are strained or difficult!

Loads of people have a family on paper - but little if anything to do with them.

as you grow up - you make your own family. Be that a partner and children or the friends that become your family.

blood doesn’t ensure anything - relationships and friendships occur throughout life and I’m sure your son will build a good network of people.

best thing you can do is model that to him now. Bring him up to be a kind, loving, thoughtful young man. Welcome his and your friends into your lives.

stop worrying about what may or may not be - he’s very little and there’s plenty of time for him to make friends and build strong relationships.

I wasn’t an only but had an awful relationship with my sibling and haven’t seen them for over 20 years now.

The only time we will ever be in the same room is for our only parent’s funeral, if they even bother when the time comes.

It’s fine!

I think due to a variety of factors (not least of which is cost of living) there will be significantly more families with only one child in this generation than previous generations.
There is no reason to suppose your son will be lonely as an adult because of this

Everyone worries about their children, but try to separate natural worry, from projecting forward and predicting catastrophes that will probably never happen.

1. I had both my children after 40, so you may meet and a new partner and have another baby. 2.If your son remains an only child this needn’t be a bad thing. I have friends who are only children, they have found pros and cons, as with any family set up. You can have a sibling but become estranged, there are no guarantees. 3.Your son will have friends and most likely a partner, he needn’t be lonely !

Only child here (in my 50s) with an only child of my own. I have a husband and good friends for support. My teenage son has tons of friends, and is involved in sociable hobbies where he meets people of all ages.

My own parents (in their 90s) are starting to need more from me, but they too have many neighbours, friends & former colleagues who share the support. For balance, my mum had a very dysfunctional childhood and therefore a very weird relationship with her sister. My dad had 4 siblings, and the only one who any of them actually got on with, died young. The others were actively obstructive when it came to any difficult family situations.

I'm an only child of 50 with a partner and three children, I've one aunt but otherwise noone by blood. I'm fine.

I’m an only child. My parents were older and died before I was 30. Luckily I met dh when I was 22 an d we were engaged when my last parent died.
I won’t pretend I don’t miss having siblings/a big family but you get used to it. DH’s family are ok, some are tolerable, some I like a lot. His parents have now died too (we are in our 50s).
Im sure your DS will find a partner, maybe he’ll be more keen to meet someone as an ‘only’ and have his own children, like I did. It won’t be ‘just him’ for a long time if he has you, your sister and his cousin (and dad). You could live another 40 years!
I do agree that close friends aren’t the same as family as people will always prioritise their own people.

He will be absolutely fine. I’m an only child. I also have no cousins. Well, in theory, some exist out there, but I only met them a few times as a child and I could not even tell you their names or how many there are. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I didn’t have my dad around either (he died when I was 18) and I am no longer close to my mum.

Being an only child hasn’t negatively impacted me in any way. I didn’t feel my childhood lacked anything and I don’t wish I had a sibling or cousins now. I have lovely friends, a wonderful Dh and a happy marriage with dc of my own, work colleagues and neighbours. Nothing is missing from my life at all. My family is frankly a hot mess and friends have always been much more important to me.

I think the only person who will suffer from me being an only child is my mum. We are estranged and there is no one there to care for her when she needs it. Her partner’s children and grandchildren are also NC with them, so between them they have zero family. They will have to rely on paid care when they need it. But having a sibling quite likely would have made little difference. If 6 of us are NC with them, chances are the hypothetical 7th would have been too.

From my perspective though, being an only child was great and I don’t personally know anyone who relies heavily on siblings and cousins for support in their 40s and 50s. It’s partners, friends, children who are your support network as you get older.

Most people get a partner at some point. There's no reason to think he won't. People with siblings don't always get on with them.