Worried for our future as an only child

There’s no guarantee siblings will get along and stay in contact.
My dad had 2 brothers, they lost contact as didn’t get on.
I have 3 cousins I’ve not seen at all for 50 years. My friends are important to me.

Don't say that! Who says he wants to teach a human being who's tiny how to paint? He's doing imaginative play and that should make you happy, not sad.

Please stop thinking this way and focus on making the child you have the happiest he can be. That doesn't need to involve the addition of a sibling and to assume that is naive in my view.

There are benefits to being an only child too, no siblings for a start.

I think just making sure he is as financially, emotionally and socially literate and resilient as possible generally, which are good whether or not someone has close family members.

Teach him how to cook, and solve problems. Encourage him to participate in sports if you can, something that can be carried on into adulthood. This keeps people both fit and connected.

I am a Christian and take part in a lot of social activities through my church, which also provides me with a different type of "family", but whether you have a different faith or none, local churches, mosques or other faith centres often have activities open to everyone and provide community, mentorship and support to young people, as well as stepping in to help people who are on their own and facing difficulty, for example bringing food to someone who is sick, helping someone move house or transport to an appointment etc.

It's actually a really good thing for children to be able to occupy themselves and play alone rather than to always rely on someone else being around.

I'm an only child, my DD is an only child and her DF is an only child! DD is 31 and has grown up to be independent and resourceful. She has a long term partner, a best friend who she's known since they were 9 plus a small circle of close friends and they all support each other with life's trials and tribulations. She's not lonely and has never felt disappointed or that she's missed out by not having siblings. When her DF and I are no longer around I know she'll be fine because she'll have people around her who she's chosen and who have chosen her. It's highly likely your DS will be in a similar position.

Stop worrying unnecessarily OP!

My mother is one of 5. She doesn't speak or see any of them regularly. Just because you have siblings doesn't mean you'll be close. She does however have a HUGE circle of friends.
I'm an only child and it hasn't ever bothered me.

DH's younger sibling was (and still is) an arsehole. His mother tried everything to force them to get along, but to no avail. He tells me he wishes he had been an only child like me!!

But that's not how it works. Their siblings might not want to play with them. They might bicker and fight. Or have nothing in common.

Only children are usually very good at solo imaginative play.

I have 3 siblings and I am nc with all of them. I certainly wouldn't turn to them for support in a crisis even if we had stayed in touch. I have always been able to be resilient and deal with any crisis situations on my own and it doesn't occur to me to depend on anyone else. So I think the best thing you can do for your child is to teach them to be resilient and socially independent so that they can weather any situation that life throws at them.

My DS is an only. I used to worry about it, for similar reasons to you

I've made my peace with it as he grows older. Partly because he has good relationships with cousins. Partly because in this financial climate he'll be better off inheriting all my estate. Partly because I've seen that having siblings only offers an opportunity of goid relationship, no guarantee. Partly because there are so many more only children around now

I think this is where friends are really important, my children (as of yet) have no actual blood cousins but have a whole tribe of kids they call cousins who are my friends children, and we are the friends who always called each other cousins growing up. I know it’s not easy to build those friendships but they are so lovely to have, I’m far closer to those friends than my actual blood cousins.

Best thing for you to do is ensure your DS has social skills to make friends. Doesn’t need a huge group but has the skills to ensure he has some close mates when older.

I have a DB, he has not been any support for me. Nowhere to be seen when it comes to looking after elderly parents. Friends and DH have been my support network

You make it sound like children are always best friends with their siblings. Mostly they don't want to play with them, they simply have no choice!

He can't miss something he doesn't have and if anything he might get jealous if you had another. I loved having my mum's undivided attention as a kid.

People make friends with those they have things in common with. So your child will do the same. Your family, you can't choose and who says they'd be close or particularly fond of eachother.

Nope. no one longs for someone to share their genetic make up. People often long for close bonds but they can be with anyone and may not be with your sibling even if you have one.

I'm 50, I have a sibling but the person I'd turn to in a crisis is my DH. I wish i was an only child tbh as i dread having to sort out my parents estate with my sibling. I longed for a brother or sister when i was a child apparently - but then it really wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I spent much longer regretting it! DS is an only child and is so thankful for that.

I was desperately lonely growing up as an only child with a single father however I had no contact with any of my cousins aunts or uncles despite my dad having been one of 8, and seldom saw my grandparents.

I think I had a really idealised view of families though and realised quite late in childhood that people with siblings often didn't even like them.

If anything it probably made me more adept at making friends because otherwise I would have nobody to play with.

I was determined to have more than one child myself and my younger two are close but my older son really couldn't have cared less about having siblings, frankly he would probably rather have had a dog.

I think the best thing you can do is make sure your son has plenty of social opportunities and a good education so he will hopefully be financially independent.

Nope. I live in fear that my sibling, who ive not seen for a decade, will call me out of the blue and ask for a spare organ and I'll have to either decide to say no, which will feel awful, or yes, which carries risks and the potential for lifelong impacts on me and my family.

I also know one day our last remaining parent, who my sibling treats appallingly, will one day die and they will be as difficult then as they were the first time round.

We lived together for less than 10 years and despite loving my sibling, they are unkind, unloving and the albatross around my neck.

I’m one of three. I rarely see my brothers - one lives overseas and one has a very chaotic lifestyle with a lot of issues.

I have an amazing group of friends who are always there for me in a crisis. I also have a supportive boss and work colleagues which helps a lot.

YABU to think having siblings guarantees you “better” support. Siblings (like any family) can be a curse as much as a blessing. If you had another child and they ended up having severe physical or learning disabilities then your son could then have the burden of looking after them once you weren’t around to do it.

Only children also tend to be more outgoing, resilient and good at making friends because they don’t automatically have playmates.

Lying in bed worrying about this? Talk about inviting stress!

Even if you "gave" him a sibling, there's no guarantee they'd get on or indeed, sadly, that they'd live long enough to be a support in a crisis after you've gone. They could go before you.

This comes up so often, and is pointless. We make our own connections in life, and friends are often very much more important than siblings...... we make an effort to stay in touch with friends as adults, but not always with siblings.

OP, it's not up to you to give him "people", it's up to him to do it for himself (if that's what he wants).

I think that often people make their own family and siblings are distant. Not always but that's common