Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it normal for primary schools to expect so many payments?

167 replies

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 11:54

I have twins in Yr 5 in Primary School and recently (in the past 2 years) there are just so many things to pay for. I appreciate that the school are taking the children out to do things but it’s all at a cost to the parents that we just cannot afford easily in these pricy times. This is a state school. Not private btw.

last term we paid for:

music lessons x2 = £130
forest school x2 = £40 (plus £100 ish worth of weather appropriate clothing)
residential x2 = £300 (plus all the stuff they needed)
costumes for school play = £40 ish

so like £700 ish

this upcoming term already we have paid

music lessons x2 = £130
weekly ice skating x2 = £130
Sherwood forest trip x2 = £60

so another £300+ already before the term has even started

Is this normal? How are people affording this. Like I said - I’m glad for the children they get to do this stuff but I don’t like the assumption that everybody will just happily keep paying for whatever the school decide to arrange.

if you’re entitled to school meals I think you get it all paid for but we don’t qualify even though we aren’t high earners.

we haven’t done anything really over the Easter hols because I literally have had £100 left to last me 2 weeks. Could have done with that £300 I’ve just had to pay really 😂

Is this normal now for primary schools or is our school unusual for this?

OP posts:
WestwardHo1 · 12/04/2026 21:25

But schools can't afford to offer endless free stuff any more, unfortunately.

chipsticksmammy · 12/04/2026 21:07

WestwardHo1 · 12/04/2026 12:29

So should schools not offer anything then? There will always be parents who can't/won't pay.

That’s not what I said at all, it’s about protecting the kids who won’t be paid for.

Regardless if that’s due to poverty or parents who decide not to for many many reasons.

As a child in the 80s/90s everything was free, music, sports, school trips and swimming lessons. My only residential was £10 to cover the bus.

I want to say ice skating and forest school are very unusual activities but perhaps they are the closest things on offer.

A school near us goes skiing, as it’s on the schools doorstep.

ThriveAT · 12/04/2026 19:55

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 18:49

Totally agree. It’s not fair at all

You're right. It's more fair for the average tax payer to pay for extras which your twins will enjoy. That's fair.

KrillBrill · 12/04/2026 19:35

Bushmillsbabe · 12/04/2026 15:34

Officially schools are not allowed to raise costs for other parents to supplement those who can't or won't pay. The cost for those on lowest incomes will come out of the pupil premium budget, and generally most other parents do their best to pay, or decline the trip. There is always the message 'this trip may be cancelled if not enough parents pay', but I have never known that happen in practice

Edited

Thank you. We have also had this message about if not enough parents paying, so wondered if the paying group is expected to cover the trip for the whole class.

Phineyj · 12/04/2026 19:26

cardibach · 12/04/2026 12:22

this is how it was in the 70s and early 80s when I was at school. This is why in community orchestras and bands you find a lot of people from different backgrounds in the 55+ age range and the younger people are largely from similar backgrounds. It stinks. Music tuition should be free. It’s something we are really good at in the U.K. and it brings loads into the economy as well as the advantages for individuals in terms of focus, team work etc

I am also in that generation but it wasn't "free": it was subsidised. I grew up in Kent and while there was a huge amount of subsidised music, it wasn't actually free in the main - there was a charge for lessons, instrument hire and music groups and courses, even if nominal.

The money councils have to subsidise is greatly reduced.

Scotland is funded at a higher rate.

Anyway, your school sounds like an outlier, OP. Those are really high expectations for the state sector and you must be in a pretty affluent area if most parents are indeed paying.

Would you consider meeting the Head and asking for the rationale, explaining that it's difficult financially? It could help others.

Fundays12 · 12/04/2026 18:59

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 18:49

Totally agree. It’s not fair at all

Your friend should look up education law and disability inclusion and put in a complaint. I have been at school trips with kids who are in wheelchairs and the children were full included (as they should be). The schools should be ensuring they book trips which are inclusive for all.

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 18:52

User79853257976 · 12/04/2026 18:15

So as you’ve said, the music lessons aren’t compulsory.

The school shouldn’t bother offering forest school or ice skating. Did they not have a coat each and wellies though?

If they didn’t offer trips people would moan. It’s just exacerbated for you having twins. £150 for a residential is good, even if it’s only 2 nights.

Did you pay for them to do after school rehearsals for the school production? If that was free I can understand them asking you to source their costumes.

The residential was just one night this year. Next years is 3 nights.

no it was a whole class play. Not an extra curricular thing. We all got told what costumes we needed to source/make

OP posts:
ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 18:50

redskyAtNigh · 12/04/2026 18:29

I'm not sure it being twins makes any difference by the time they are in Year 5. OP is paying out the same as she would for 2 differently aged primary school children, assuming the school offers similar sorts of trips/activities in each year group. If it's just Year 5 where the costs are huge, then OP has had a few years of being able to put money aside. Residentials don't typically happen every year but in a known year group(s).

Well this never used to really be the case so why would I put money aside for it? Ours have had residentials from year 3 although I didn’t send them til y4

OP posts:
ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 18:49

Fundays12 · 12/04/2026 17:53

Thats absolutely awful and against the equalities act. They should have made provision for her to attend.

Totally agree. It’s not fair at all

OP posts:
redskyAtNigh · 12/04/2026 18:29

I'm not sure it being twins makes any difference by the time they are in Year 5. OP is paying out the same as she would for 2 differently aged primary school children, assuming the school offers similar sorts of trips/activities in each year group. If it's just Year 5 where the costs are huge, then OP has had a few years of being able to put money aside. Residentials don't typically happen every year but in a known year group(s).

User79853257976 · 12/04/2026 18:15

So as you’ve said, the music lessons aren’t compulsory.

The school shouldn’t bother offering forest school or ice skating. Did they not have a coat each and wellies though?

If they didn’t offer trips people would moan. It’s just exacerbated for you having twins. £150 for a residential is good, even if it’s only 2 nights.

Did you pay for them to do after school rehearsals for the school production? If that was free I can understand them asking you to source their costumes.

ACynicalDad · 12/04/2026 18:14

If you have two kids going on the residential at our school you only pay for one. You can opt out of everything, but in the grand scheme of things if too many opt out it won't happen.

CeciliaMars · 12/04/2026 18:07

Music lessons are always optional or free. Never heard of a primary school doing ice skating. Forest school is free at our school. We just pay for swimming lessons and trips. Residentials, we can pay for in instalments.

Goinghome2late · 12/04/2026 18:05

Secondary is worse! This year I paid £2300 for residential trips for each of my 2. Both linked with their GCSE and ALevel content.

Plus music lessons £180 per term and regular fundraising events...

Kids cost a fortune.to raise!

Bushmillsbabe · 12/04/2026 17:57

Fundays12 · 12/04/2026 17:53

Thats absolutely awful and against the equalities act. They should have made provision for her to attend.

Absolutely agree. Hopefully this was the choice of the family/she didn't want to, rather than the school telling her she couldn't. They will get extra funding for her via her ehcp, so it's not due to cost even if she needed an accessible taxi to get there

Fundays12 · 12/04/2026 17:53

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 17:00

Nope. She’s my daughter’s best friend. Her twin doesn’t have cp and she is going but nothing for her disabled sister. She is just going into a different class for the 6 weeks

Thats absolutely awful and against the equalities act. They should have made provision for her to attend.

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 17:00

Bushmillsbabe · 12/04/2026 16:48

I would hope she would be going and not left out due to her disability, wheelchairs can be adapted to go on ice.

Nope. She’s my daughter’s best friend. Her twin doesn’t have cp and she is going but nothing for her disabled sister. She is just going into a different class for the 6 weeks

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 12/04/2026 16:48

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 15:56

As far as I know the only person not going is a girl that has cp and can’t walk. Everyone else seems to be going

I would hope she would be going and not left out due to her disability, wheelchairs can be adapted to go on ice.

SkibidiSigma · 12/04/2026 16:03

I think it's a lot tbh. I hardly have to pay for anything at DC school. They do beach school not forest, which is free. Yes they need wellies and waterproofs but mine has them anyway. Some kids didn't have them and I guess just got wet. It's an afternoon session so they go straight home afterwards anyway. The only trip I've been asked to pay for in the last year was the annual panto trip, the others have been free. The school wouldn't do something like ice-skating unless they were funding it. Music hasn't been a thing yet but my DC is only year 3.

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 15:56

RaspberryRipple3 · 12/04/2026 15:21

Of course it is. You either pay for your child to do it or not. Lots of children stay behind in school when their parents can’t afford for them to do activities or don’t want them to.

As far as I know the only person not going is a girl that has cp and can’t walk. Everyone else seems to be going

OP posts:
ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 15:55

ThriveAT · 12/04/2026 15:38

You are choosing. It's still a choice you are actively making. Stop complaining about your own choices. Plenty of children I know opted out of residentials because it was too expensive.

I’m not complaining - I’m asking if this is normal? The point is, yes it’s optional but apart from the music lessons I feel it puts pressure on parents when the school say they’re doing it with the expectation that everyone comes and then demands payment

OP posts:
ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 15:54

auserna · 12/04/2026 15:44

I don't think it will be a class music lesson as part of the ordinary school curriculum. I've never heard of there being a charge for these in a state or private school. If it's group instrumental lessons then that's quite reasonable.

It’s not 1-1 but not full class either. There are around 10 - 15 kids for each lesson

OP posts:
billandtedsexcellentadventure · 12/04/2026 15:54

The only thing I understand you paying for is the residential trip and any other day trips. The other things will be optional. So that’s your choice to pay.

ThisRealFawn · 12/04/2026 15:53

ThriveAT · 12/04/2026 15:36

Children cost a lot of money. Activities cost a lot. Who do you think should pay for your children's extra curricular activities? The tax payer? Nobody pays for my children's music lessons.

You sound somewhat entitled, OP. Stop moaning. Maybe move them to a school that offers a less well rounded experience - no music, Forest school or ice skating - so you save money and they don't feel like they're missing out. Alternatively, make cut backs elsewhere in your life so you can afford to offer your children these opportunities that mean so much to you.

I am not saying that somebody else should pay for it. I’m simply asking if it’s normal for schools to offer this many things that you then feel obligated to participate in. I feel like it’s not very typical. I think moving them to a different school at 10 years old is a bit of an overreaction

OP posts:
Morepositivemum · 12/04/2026 15:51

Yup, in Ireland and we’re the same- dancing, swimming, music, football. Generally eight weeks of them during class time. I think certain times there’s a bigger collection of things but our school are good for giving people a bit of time