How to handle my son's troubling far-right views and online influence

You're not wrong, I'm just refusing to accept that he fulfils all the criteria for being 'intelligent'. He might have some of them, but he's not displaying intelligence, imho.

Respectfully I do not think he is “highly intelligent” if his views are being formed by social media brain rot nonsense. That’s the opposite of intelligence.

You can't dismiss someone who has different views to yours as, by definition, not intelligent.

I think we keep going there, just writing people off as stupid and thick, rather than taking on board their ideas/concerns and trying to highlight errors of fact or illogical leaps. Who knows, perhaps the truly intelligent see things we don't and therefore come to different conclusions.

With this boy i would be questioning what the motivations are for his thinking - is he uncomfortable around different races or does he think societal cohesion is threatened by them. Those are very different things

This. This is why my autistic child doesnt have a smart phone. Social media leaves vulnerable teens at huge risk of radicalisation or exploitation. There might be a youth organisation near you that can help or early help usually have specialist neurodiversity workers.

OP he is 14 and you are the parent...so you need to cut his access to the Internet & social media as much as possible and check who he has been hanging out with in person.

You also need to speak to someone at his school and can seek help from charities that support young people.

Radicalisation is really insidious and can't just be addressed by a softly softly approach and debating...

Also try to divert his attention to a sport or hobby so he spends less time wanting to access social media.

Yes it is 👍

What it means to be British has “changed over time” because we’ve had mass immigration and multiculturalism IMPOSED on us. No one asked for this profound change and no one voted for it. And then the Left have got the nerve to call Farage a fascist!! They’re the fascists. They’re the ones who have imposed a new identity on people - often against their wishes.

Unfortunately, your son has been captured by extremists. There is a hell of a difference between wanting tighter borders and supporting Hitler!! And wanting to preserve a sense of identity does not mean ‘racial purity’. Instead of dictating what he should think, why not point out those differences?

Thanks to mass immigration, I no longer live in a country with a shared history or shared culture or shared identity. I don’t know who I am anymore. In fact, my national identity has been taken away from me. But, though I hate the people responsible for this, I also despise those who promote genocidal maniacs like Hitler.

This can definitely help soften things. A sport where genders are more mixed within the club - like climbing, rowing, tennis over football or rugby - could go a long way. If he's at a boys school, or a fairly homogenous one, maybe think about sixth form options that broaden his exposure slightly.

You do need to get on top of this though. He clearly doesn't know everything, or he wouldn't be thinking like this.

eerrrr calling a child, particularly an autistic one, a ‘racist idiot’ is not right.

Ah, the dangers of unregulated internet access when kids are old enough to read but too young to have judgment. Not all views are equally valid, and to be engaged with. I presume you have seen Adolescence and are familiar with the literature on the harms of social media? Please do the wider society a favor and restrict your son's access to social media.

Is he socially isolated, OP? Does he have friends, hobbies, activities? If he does have friends, are any non-white? Girls? I believe internet algorithms are particularly dangerous with children, and particularly boys, who struggle socially.

If that's the case, in addition to talking to him and looking at Prevent, could you do anything to foster social development?

Just to say, what the OP is describing is radicalisation. And far-right terrorism is a major threat. This is exactly the kind of thing Prevent are supposed to be dealing with.

And just to add, we're a very liberal family and my work is related to feminist causes so we have always had discussions around it. My neurodivergent teenage sons are very interested in politics and history, very strongly liberal and are horrified by Reform, Farage, Trump (and obviously Hitler!) so this is not an inevitable consequence of liberal parents or people being too feminist or however else people want to blame the left for the rise of facism rather than blaming, you know, actual fascists. Internet propaganda is really powerful and anyone can be vulnerable to radicalisation.

It’s just so easy to fall down a rabbit hole online. It’ll be TikTok and YouTube, it’s absolutely rife with it. DH’s uncle is a middle aged man, also well educated and intelligent but he’s fallen down the hole too so much so his wife of 35 years has left him…

Since he’s 14, you have every right to go through his devices and find out exactly what he’s accessing. Also check Discord if he’s on this- my DS uses it and he’s told us there are some ‘sub forums’ filled with Neo-Nazis. It’s frightening. If you find where he’s accessing the content, consider blocking the app.

You also need to gently question his rhetoric until it falls apart. The conspiracies are always so full of holes they drop apart immediately when you throw actual logic in the mix.

At work, we had to do ‘Prevent’ training. I think that’s more to do with radicalisation and terrorism, but there maybe something here you can use.

https://www.educateagainsthate.com/prevent-training/

Also, have you watched Louis Theroux ‘Manosphere’ to give you an insight.

Britain was not all white in the 1950s. He has swallowed a load of false, hateful propaganda and has been radicalised online. This is way beyond 'gentle questioning' - hardcore racism and misogyny is not a valid viewpoint worthy of respect that you can debate with. It's an extremist and dangerous mindset. The school will have information on PREVENT but I think they're quite overwhelmed - still definitely worth trying. This is a situation whereby he needs to be taken off the internet altogether and educated in how to question information rather than swallowing it wholesale. He needs to be able to evaluate and think critically about sources, manipulation and presentation of information. These are difficult skills for teenagers to master and he may be more vulnerable because of his autism. But you won't get anywhere while he still has access to this persuasive, poisonous material. He needs to come offline.

My son went to school with a boy like your son.

He’d regularly end up in trouble with teachers (and other pupils) for using racial slurs etc

My son’s theory was that this was a defence mechanism and way to get attention because his mum is nothing like that (I know her well) and his younger sister has mainstream views on that kind of thing. He often ended up in physical fights out of school and my son thinks he enjoyed people talking about him in a “Can you believe what he’s now done?” way.

He’s probably being fed this by algorithms that are only going to get more extreme and end up with the worst content like holocaust denial. If he’s not careful, he will end up in jail for hate. How would he feel about that?

I would also come up with some counter points. Eg Hitler would have ordered the murder of your son for having autism. He wouldn’t want autistic genes being passed down to future generations and would consider people like him to be subhuman. How could he support that?

It’s ok to have views that differ from you like immigration should be controlled but his views are so extreme that his peers must be avoiding him?

Another thing I might do in your situation is ask questions rather than counter. If he is getting all this from sporadic short videos, he might just be parroting them withiut deeper understanding because they 'feel' right. You could appeal to his intelligence and logix by asking questions. I.e. women were happier when they didn't work. You could say "Hmm that doesn't sound right to me as a woman. Why do you think that's the case? Is there any data or evidence on that? What sources help us to test whether that's true or not?"

I know, I also have rather 'one thing/a different thing' thought patterns. I also have a lot of professional experience of working with autistic people. But I'm not a racist idiot. It is not an excuse.

Zimbabwe is not all black?! Also does he know about Colonisation and what Britain would be without it? This age group is heavily targeted - it’s very worrying.

He is 14 so no job.

OP I'd start with challenging him to live with no food that comes from other cultures. I think that will mean no potatoes, rice, noodles. Depending on how far to take it, it will be parsnips and herbs with suet and meat. Maybe challenge him to start living a medieval diet with him doing the research. I don't know what the family situation is but if you are earning, nothing from your pocket. After all that's the life he wants, to be self sufficient himself.

he knows all there is to know about politics

He really doesn't, he's 14. Just because he's bright doesn't mean he has depth of understanding and certainly doesn't mean hateful views have to be tolerated, let alone respected. You sound a little in awe of him and rather than trying to counter his rigid thinking, I'd spend the time firmly guiding him away from racist and misogynist internet rabbit holes.

At the moment you have some control of what he accesses and how he does so. You won't have for long.

If he loves history would you think of bringing him to Berlin and showing him where these types of views can lead if they are held across a population. Hitler’s bunker in Berlin and the Jewish museum and the concentration camp just outside of Berlin can really give insight into when a whole group of people start falling for these ideologies the fallout there can be.

Migration is not new, people have migrated all throughout all of human history to get a better life and “white” people are not around a particularly long time and are not native to Europe anyway. Maybe use his interest and curiosity on history in the real world to help him get some context on what he is saying. And yes get him offline.

I've just found this resource which gives some clear answers to five far-right talking points, this might help as a starting point: https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/countering-radical-right/radical-right-narratives-and-how-counter-them/

You don’t need to know the answers to question things. You could say “oh, I’m surprised that’s the case; where did you read that?” And look at the source together and discuss. You could suggest to him that you research things together and look at reputable sources which might counter the things he has been reading independently.

When it comes to gender roles - does he think you would be better off ‘in the kitchen?’ And does he think about what that means for your life experience? Does he have sisters or are there any other women he is close to? Ie. Does he think about the real world implications of what he is saying or just attracted to the abstract idea of ‘old fashioned’ gender roles?