How to handle my son's troubling far-right views and online influence

completely agree. You see this dangerous assertion often, “highly intelligent “. Absolute nonsense.

get him off social media, get help from the organisations listed and speak to the school.

A 14 year old boy however intelligent he is does not remotely know all there is to know about politics

Don't be thinking you are somehow less knowledgable than him. He's just got the brash know it all confidence teenagers have. He's not better than you

This is spot on. He’s not highly intelligent. He’s obviously been allowed on YouTube etc for hours. Ban his access and get in touch with PREVENT.

I was wondering about this too. The school will now all about this.

The rise of the right is a knee jerk reaction to immigration, it was pretty obvious this was going to happen way back when Blair didn’t put a number on Eastern European arrivals. I write this as the daughter of not white immigrants I sadly don’t know the answer and I can't hide my face.

But some teens do deliberately push against whatever their parents views are. Plus as you are I’m guessing a liberal minded sort then your kindness and tolerance has sort of worked against you. Western liberalism is part of the reason for the rise of the right all over Europe, people by and large never contemplate unintended consequences. Especially liberals and the left.

My children were raised with hardcore Asian parenting mixed with DH liberal attitudes. That in itself caused some issues between DH and I. Do not be messing with my culture because that’s what multiculturalism brings you. The lovely food but also the other bits that are bad in western eyes but you are all too nice to say anything because you worry you will be seen as racist.

The INCEL stuff has been coming for years as well. Women just do not need men like they used to and that’s great but it marginalising young men who know deep down they are not actually that great a catch. I do not blame feminism for this I celebrate it but it’s an unintended consequence again. Look to your older male relatives I bet loads of them wouldn’t do so well these days. No one would have married my FIL in this day and age as he was obnoxious and I have no idea how he managed to have such a great son, my DH. I am the last generation that was raised to feel you should marry.

Huge and rapid societal shifts in a small space of time it’s always going to marginalise some, dangerous times. You can try your natural soft approach or go super hardcore and remove stuff. I removed my DS gaming console because he refused to regulate the hours when he was a similar age. He hated me for that period and told me. Just prepare for yourself to be hated briefly. Embrace it and know you are doing the right thing.

I was also going to mention Prevent. All schools have yearly Prevent training as part of our safeguarding training. Talk to the school safeguarding team, they will be able to offer help and advice to you and your son and put him / you in touch with people that can support him.

I did wonder about this, as I've visited and don't remember it being all black.

@TheCatCushions , is he open to having a reasoned conversation that involves facts about Britain in the 1950s - declining economic superpower, dreadful social inequality, post-war austerity etc... And why the immigrants were invited?

Does he have the education or skilled job that can support a single income household or does heexpect a wife to embrace poverty?

I know many internet rabbit hole folks like to talk outside their tax bracket and knowledge base. If you aren't, get clued up on the topics he's speaking about so you can confidently counter his narrative.

Black and white thinking is normal for us autistic people. I would regard myself as very intelligent but even as a mature adult, I struggle with grey areas.

You need to get help urgently through Prevent
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/get-help-if-youre-worried-about-someone-being-radicalised

Or just get rid of the evil smartphone rather than enabling him to have it then moaning about the very obvious consequences?

I think you need to control his phone. I know nearly no-one does but I do, I think my teenagers need to be older before trying to face algorithms that are addictively trying to keep them there.

Discussion and saying the logical arguments on the other side, with as little of your opinion as you can would be my way to go.

Ask him what he likes about Hitler.

The main message I would reinforce is to keep these thoughts inside his own head and especially be very aware that anything he puts on social media is thete forever and may have implications for his adult life and career.
I tbink its just a rebellious phase and he is enjoing the power to shock people.

Where the hell is he accessing this stuff for a start? I have a 13 year old and she has no access to social media and only very limited access to YouTube. She can ask to use it to watch specific things, we unlock it for the duration, check what content she has viewed, lock it again after. That will not change until she’s 16. There is no unfettered access to this sort of stuff, so his phone needs to be better managed for a start.

Beyond that, I think you need to get him out of his room, off his phone and in contact with some proper male role models.

I’d also consider being in touch with Prevent and asking for some advice. They do a lot of work with far right radicalisation and can hopefully connect you with some resources.

This is actually a perfect scenario because what you can teach him here is the power of saying "I don't know very much about this to comment knowledgeably, let's sit down and look at the facts together". Then you can show him how to look for information, review multiple sources and get a balanced view.

I found this great organisation that seems to help young men who get sucked into hate ideas online, might be worth a try: https://www.exithate.com/individualsupport#:~:text=We%20provide%20guidance%20via%20our,links%20to%20multiple%20support%20agencies.&text=You%20can%20also%20email%20us,as%20soon%20as%20we%20can.

It’s 100% what he’s reading online. Does he have a smartphone and if so, do you check it? If you’re the bill payer, I’d argue that you should do random spot checks, not necessarily of private messages but certainly of apps/browsing history.

As another PP has said, the more he consumes, the more the algorithms will confirm to him that he’s ‘right’. He needs to understand that these are not just ‘alternative views’ (for which anyone has the right to believe) but beliefs and groups which could land him in trouble with hate crime laws. It’s a natural progression from where he’s at to Holocaust denial and neo naziism.

Time for a smartphone/device check and maybe even some time limits.

Well this is what comes of allowing underage minors unfettered internet access, unfortunately. Whether or not you can now row back is up for debate, Pandora’s box has been opened.

I would strongly encourage parents to only buy dumb phones and have a family computer in a communal area.

https://actearly.uk ACT Early Support Line 0800 011 3764.

You could look at this website and call the support line for advice?

It's really important that you get support early because his ASD will make him more vulnerable to extremism.

This. He has to be reading this stuff online. Remove his access and explain why. Some of his views if he writes them down are regarded as hate speech and regarded as a criminal offence. Explain that to him.

I would also seek help. That kind of extreme view suggests severe mental health issues.

If this is true, I hope you are OK and can find a way with dealing with it. It must be truly horrific to see your own child spiralling like this.

A perfect example of why we must follow other, more fast-acting, progressive countries in banning kids from social media.