AIBU not to understand parents dreading school holidays with their children?

I am so glad that i had my children back in the days when during school holidays they just went outside to play and made their own plans. It was much cheaper than the high expectations of today and both children and adults were both happier, healthier and more relaxed.

Perhaps OP has compliant kids who sit quietly with colouring in and enjoy woodland walks without shouting about how boring they are and never fight with each other. I’ve a 5 and a 2 year old. The 5 year old is on the diagnostic pathway for AuDHD and nearly every moment spent with him is stressful. Not so for the toddler. I love them and I have enjoyed spending time with them this Easter but likewise I am glad it’s coming to a close. Sue me.

So are you suggesting that only thick people can enjoy school holidays with their kids?

I agree OP, I wish we had longer summer breaks here like in the US and a lot of Europe.

@modgepodge you’re describing to a point what life was like for me all of last year 😩

It’s a lot easier when they no longer need the nap, although I still am a bit anal about trying to time things so DD doesn’t fall asleep in the car.

Yes, it is obvious that your sanctimony and judgemental attitude comes from a place of jealousy. Do you normally struggle with empathy and looking at things from other peoples point of view?

To your question "why have children if you don't enjoy spending time with them", nobody knows what they do and don't enjoy till the kids are here. My cousin had a baby last year and both him and his wife essentially realised that they don't enjoy parenthood as much as they thought. They love their son but she is quite desperate to come back from maternity leave. And something tells me their experience is not unique.
I'd question why people then go on to have multiple children.. I guess it's the good old "my child NEEDS a sibling".

I really enjoy the school holidays and I dread them going back. But everyones situation is completely different, it doesn’t mean those parents like or love their children less than anyone else.

I don’t think they should be saying it in front of the children, but I do find being out of routine quite hard.

I am part time but a teacher so have the ‘pleasure’ of school holidays with my reception aged son (I also have a younger girl.) Christmas was hard. DD went through a spate of getting up very early so I had a long day with them both, it was dark and cold, we did a lot but still had too much screen time, felt guilty, it was pretty exhausting and not particularly enjoyable.

This holiday has been a lot better - whether it’s the longer daylight hours or DD being that bit older I couldn’t tell you. But it’s still been tiring.

One big thing is that my children are much nicer apart. They are sweet and loving and mostly compliant. Together that’s not always the case (though is slowly improving) so having them both is intense and can be difficult to manage.

There’s quite a lot of research out there detailing that parents with a really high IQ, struggle far more with young children. They find the chaotic unpredictable- ness really difficult.
and so the reverse is true too.

Personally, at the moment due to personal circumstances I find it highly stressful to be out of routine with children that need additional planning and expense that I don’t have headspace for.

it’s been like this for about 5 years. I can see a time where it’s less stressful as personal circumstances are simpler, but there will be many, many parents like me. Don’t judge OP, just accept what people tell you about how they view that time.

AIBU to not understand the mindset of dreading having your kids at home for the holidays (barring financial or work reasons)?

Yes. YABU.

Other people may feel differently to you. About this and lots of other things. Even if you don't fully understand the mindset, can you appreciate that their mindset is different to yours and that everyone is entitled to feel how they feel?

I find it quite sad when parents are like that. I always looked forward to our children being off school. Some people aren’t great parents though and some children are more difficult than others.

I have thought this before too. I wonder if being a single parent (with very demanding full time job) is part of it - for me the work / school / club / hobby juggle feels so intense and I find it much easier when we don't have all of this (ie either I am off with DC or she is with family / at an all day hol club whilst I work ). I think if you are a dual parent who is used to having a few days to themselves (ie PT work) and a lot of support from a partner, full days with your DC feel harder.
Obvs every situation is different though and for sure having 1 child is very different to 2!

I think it depends so much on the individual family's situation. I was a single parent with little support and kids who tended to do a lot of bickering and squabbling. We did a mix of simple stuff (crafts, walks, park), holiday clubs, days out and actually being away on holiday but it was a bit of a slog to be honest. One DC was ND and so the change of routine made life difficult for the whole family.

Not quite as blunt as I’d put it but essentially this. Can you really not imagine other people might find parenting tough at times, particularly in the school holidays when money evaporates like an ice cube in the sun, your routine is shot to pieces and you feel the pressure to enjoy every moment as it goes so fast?! 🙄

I’m a teacher and when I had one kid I loved the holidays with her. Now with 2 (second is 2) I find it bloody hard work. Finding something they both want to do, ideally which doesn’t cost loads, especially when the weather is awful, is hard work for 16 days in a row, most of them on my own. Endless requests for snacks and making packed lunches to save money when we do go out anywhere drives me up the wall too. I either have to time things around being home for 2 hours for a nap in the afternoon (which massively restricts where we can go) or deal with a tired grumpy toddler or a late nap in the car which then disrupts bedtime.

I do love my kids and I think in a couple of years I’ll be back to loving it but I find toddlers extremely hard work and am a much better parent on a part time basis 😂

I don't think moaning about how difficult it is to manage the school holidays means you don't like your kids. I very much like my DC but I'd be lying if I didn't find trying to manage 13 weeks of school holidays with no family support, limited annual leave, limited holiday club hours and the great British weather hard.

I would think it’s strange that you don’t understand that some kids are far more difficult than others. Some aren’t compliant at all, some talk nonstop drivel, some fight with their siblings etc

I love having them home but my grip on sanity starts to slip when I’m never alone for a minute. I can’t finish a thought in my head. I’ll be sad when they go back to school, but the mental relief is real.

I’ve said YABU. I love holidays with my kids and don’t join in when others moan about it but I respect that it’s hard and everyone has their own juggling act. YABU to judge it.

I always wished they were longer in the summer as with most other countries, they got 10 weeks off in the USA. Juggling with work is more difficult but we managed

People are different.

this cannot really be news to you?