AIBU not to understand parents dreading school holidays with their children?

I agree, why bother having children if you don't want to spend time with them, my mother worked in termtime and counted down the days until the holidays. m These days it seems that every waking hour of a child's life needs to be filled with activities.
This is a strain on time and finances- a rainy day in the holidays meant having to stay in rather than go shopping or for a walk- we would just get stacks of comics out and read them- if children are never allowed to be bored how will they manage to organise their time, or be creative?

It’s mostly just conversation- we all bitch and moan and partially mean it partially are thrilled to have them there.

In the same way I won’t pretend to understand the difficulties or complexities of being a working parent, or a single parent, I think you just don’t understand what being a SAHP can be like. It’s not just “two weeks” - my kids are always home/under my care, the 6 hours at school aside, so the novelty of all the things you are imagining doing with your children has long ago worn off. I already spend vast amounts of time with them but I can’t spend the whole summer holidays on foreign holidays, at theme parks or “making memories” - so therefore there’s a fair amount of drudge and monotony. And because I’m a SAHP I don’t put the kids in childcare - so I am “on” 24/7 and don’t get much time to myself. That can feel hard when kids are little. Not to say school holidays aren’t valuable time, but can be hard.

I wouldn’t complain about it in front of my kids, or even to anyone outside my immediate circle of like minded SAHPs, but I won’t feel guilty or that I shouldn’t have had my kids just because I found being with my kids 24/7 for weeks at a time, without any of my usual supports, pretty hard work.

To be honest I used to think a bit like that. Though I work FT so my kids went to holiday club most of the time so it wasn't much different for me than the school week. I took some days off of course and we did stuff like visit grandparents, national trust places etc.

But it was dramatically different once they were at secondary school because there aren't holiday clubs for that age. My daughter (my youngest) is in her first year of secondary and the lack of routine and activity has been difficult for her. It's really hit home during the current easter holidays and the feb half term because we went on holiday October half term and also had time off at Christmas when there was lots going on. But since then she's left to her own devices. One of us is always WFH but obviously we can't go out with her or entertain her so I've heard a lot of "I'm bored" and she's been on screens far more than i would like. But she has decluttered her whole room (took 3 days), done some art work and baking and met up with a school friend a couple of times. Her older brother and his girlfriend also kindly took her to the cinema with them once though I suppose that's just another kind of screen! Even when I have been off she's not so enthusiastic about the stuff I used to take her to when she was younger but both we and she are struggling to find ideas that she'll enjoy but don't cost a bomb. Today we are going to help paint a community mural (free) so I'm really pleased about that. She's actually glad to be going back to school tomorrow!

I have a lot of sympathy for parents of kids who aren't sporty or "crafty" and don't like holiday clubs because I now see how hard it is to get a balance of chilling and being occupied in a positive way. It doesn't mean we don't enjoy our children's company.

I don't this attitude towards people who struggle helps. Mine are 5 and 4. I'm exhausted in these holidays. We do plenty of activities and they play together nicely sometimes but wow it's hard work. It's not about not enjoying time with the kids it's just they are non stop and it's hard. I think it's ok to say that.

Our local newsagent (bear their primary schools) made a comment once along the lines of
“oh yes I you actually like being with your kids”

it felt like I was the unusual one, which was a nice compliment and depressing at the same time

I am happy to admit that the reason I enjoyed school holidays is because my ex husband (who is a teacher) used to have the girls for most of it! I was useless when they were young and he is a really lovely father (just a terrible husband). Every summer he would take them to his country and they got to spend time with aunts, uncles and cousins who they didn’t see often. They had wonderful times with their father, his family ans learned a lot about their heritage. I got to concentrate on work without having to worry about childcare. I’m spoilt, I know. Now they are young adults and still have wonderful relationships with their paternal grandparents and extended family which wouldn’t have happened without those long summers.

Yeah I do hate it but I also hate all that “why mummy drinks” nonsense which is equally damaging imo.

Well, I have cancer and spend about half the day in bed in order to function. School holidays are tricky because I don’t get that time to rest. Dh does his best to take them out and do things, but he does have to work. I scrape by trying to nap with one eye open while they fight.

That said, I don’t recall any school holidays - except when we were actually on holiday - when my parents took off work to spend time with me. I was dumped off to my grandparents every day. So I’m guessing they didn’t particularly enjoy it either!

We do live in a holiday destination where everyone decamps in the school holidays as well. It does make things tricky. When you finally have time to go out and enjoy things on days off, all of London is here in their Range Rovers blocking the roads and taking up all the space everywhere. So days out are nice; days out during school holidays in particular, not so nice.

Not at all unreasonable not to understand. Some people aren’t so good at seeing outside their own world view, and that’s absolutely fine.

Entirely unreasonable to judge on that basis, though.

I must be the odd one out then, as I loved the holidays and weekend.

No school runs no faffing small talk to other parents, no letters of the next fate play or bake sale.
No getting up at 6 getting breakfast ready.
No random techer calling me to let me know my child did or done something or unwell.
It was bliss.

Them days are over for me now thank god.

I think parenting weighs some people down a lot more than others.

I wouldn’t listen to the just you wait posts. My children range from teens to adults and I always enjoyed school holidays with them.

I have four and a half years between mine. Not planned but it is actually a nice gap. I don't know about you but the last six or seven months before school I find they are really ready for school and need it so yes that is why I was happy my first starter school. Also with childcare fees more people will have bigger gaps so they don't have to pay two sets of nursery.

I had seven years as a SAHM over the course of having three children.

When the youngest was three I worked three days a week.

I ramped up to full-time by the time youngest was seven.

By far the hardest- harder than the juggle of full time work- was being a SAHM. The relentlessness of always having to be ‘on’ with childcare alongside all the domestic and logistical tasks of life. I love my kids so much but young children are often whinging/bickering/having a tantrum for one reason of another. None of them slept well and I was permanently exhausted. Even when one or two were at school I still had a baby or toddler at home and all the domestic things to do, plus trying to retrain so I could actually have a career after such a huge break. I used to dream of going to work for a few days for a bit of peace and headspace, and for someone else to be in charge.

I watch my SIL who is a real Disney princess of a mum to her only child, and marvel that as she works full time from home she can have a dally nap while her toddler is at daycare, get all her life admin done in childcare time and then bring Mary Poppins energy 6-7.30pm on weekdays, weekends and holidays as she’s not totally burnt out and overstimulated. She’s similarly amazed anyone could find the holidays anything less than a delight.

It sounds like you aren’t friends with any of these women so don’t know if their kids are difficult or what else they have going on. I remember one working mother absolutely scoffing at me as a SAHM finding it difficult and actually using the word ‘privilege’ and telling me how lucky I was, without the slightest idea of what the facts were. I’ve never forgotten.

Its really sad.

I loved the children being home in the holidays, especially the summer holidays. I hated it when we had to go back to the school routine. I never had much money so we didn’t pack in loads of stuff or anything, just lazy days with a paddling pool in the garden, walks and picnics etc. Mine are all grown up now but miss those lovely summers.

I had 6 as a single parent under 10 - no twins. That Madness song 'Our House' could have been inspired my household, we had a lot of fun and laughter, tears and tantrums, but lots of love and we were a solid unit.
There were always playmates and things to do, It was hard work but for the best I loved it. Ususally knackered at the end of the day though😄

And no, some of us have children for whom all the love in the world, plus meeting their basic needs (I assume you mean feeding them) absolutely is not enough to ensure they are “fine”.

I teach teenagers so it is absolutely relief to get two weeks away from all the teens I teach and to only need to deal with my own two.

I always liked the less pressured time of school holidays. In the summer they usually did a week or two of holiday camp, and arty party during shorter breaks was a lot of fun. It’s tricky when raining especially if you have very energetic kids. I think by the end of several weeks I was looking forward to a break but I agree I don’t know why so many complain, especially in front of their kids! But it’s nothing new - even that classic 1951 Christmas song ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas’ has a line about mums and dads waiting for school to start again….

I get it to a point because I think it takes a village to raise a child and school can be part of that village. I overall really enjoy the school holidays with my two but by the end of the 6 weeks we definitely start to get a bit fed up of each other. February half term can also be hard work if the weather is bad.