AIBU not to understand parents dreading school holidays with their children?

I am not home educating. Just stating a fact

If that is the reason you are home educating because you can't bear leaving them then I don't think that is a good reason to home educate.

I find all the local kids groups being cancelled during school holidays annoying (I understand why, but still... annoying for me personally) but other than that, don't really understand the hate for school holidays 🤔

home educating parents never say this.

DM used to say that to me. She was a SAHM and I was made to feel like I was getting in the way of her shopping trips/cleaning and generally disrupting the freedom
she had while we were at school. Sad really.

No I have 4 so wouldn’t meet all their separate needs at home, what I like about the holidays is being able to do what we want when we want with no pressure.

I think some people just find it easier. They don't try to change their personality to become a particular type of parent, they aren't particularly anxious, they choose activities that suit them as much as the children and they are good at managing their children's behaviour.

I struggled more in the holidays when my eldest was still at school as she was difficult to manage out of her regular routine and I couldn't get out much with the kids in case it was too much. She did a few holiday clubs for disabled children and we also had support from grandparents once they had retired to take the stress away.

Now with only having the one at home in the school holidays it has been easier as we can get out more and she still wants to be with me. She is in Year 7 so at a funny age where holiday clubs are concerned but likes to go shopping and see her friends and cousins as and when, and we can have people over when the older one is out.

Usually I love it. And actually, I have been really enjoying it again. But I was absolutely dreading it. DS has been having some behavioural issues at home and school, its been a battle and I was dreading being alone all day every day. But actually his behaviour has been so much better and were having a nice time mostly.

I think its a bit crass to judge parents for struggling, its harder than any of us expected and making people feel like shit parents because they're not enjoying every second isnt helpful.

Have you thought of homeschooling? Or is it too tough with work?

I completely understand, its tough for them and then tough for us x

Yeah I just wanted to acknowledge sometimes that not all Sen parents find it harder having their kids at home for some it’s the easier option. But then I’ve been dealing with EBSA for 8 years. My kids also struggle with the constant demands from school. The early mornings when they’ve struggled to sleep all night. The masking all day then blowing up when they get home. If I had the money and support they’d never go back.

I used to love school holidays - mainly because it was nice to see a hot more of my DCs and because we weren’t clock watching. . But I was lucky in that I mainly only worked term time so didn’t need childcare.

I am going to look into these!

I’m ASD and break in routine is really hard. Three ASD kids, likewise. Factor in 3 kids with different energy needs: one Duracell bunny, one regular energy and one constantly exhausted child, sibling friction … and that’s before we need to start thinking about juggling work and leave. Much easier now the kids are older but school holidays used to have me on my knees. Have a little imagination that others might have different and more difficult family lives. I adore my kids but school holidays not so much.

Yip. I am at this stage at the moment. Everything revolves around the two year old and their nap. Parents that just have older children are free to go out at any point of the day, but doing everything in two hour bursts is mentally exhausting when you also have older children to consider. My two other dd's that are 5 and 8 just have to accept it, but I feel bad turning down days out with other parents that cut right into nap time. The aftermath would be catastrophic if we just went along. I take solice that this time next year will be completely different but for the moment it is deeply frustrating.

I absolutely adore my 2 girls. They are 11 and 9. I spend most of my time planning and considering how to give them a great lifestyle and their happiness is my number 1 concern. They are both autistic, 11yo with significant needs and learning disabilities. She is full time care. The 9yo is verbal and has autism and adhd. There is practically almost zero options we can do as a family except garden based play or a dog walk (11yo in a giant SEN buggy). There are plenty of SEN options in my area for activities and 2 special needs adventure parks with adaptive spaces indoor and outdoor and yet none of these options suit them both. Therefore, I barely see my wife all holidays because we have one each. This also creates all kinds of other issues with one missing me or not being able to switch children due to 11yo's rigid thinking halfway through a break.
I always count the days until school because weekdays are smooth, adults get a break or can get out the house and enjoy something normally but mainly, its because my children are much happier in their appropriate schools and regular routines. The afternoon is easier when they are regulated and happy.
I would give my right arm for a day as a family doing a normal park trip and a picnic and would probably not wish away the holidays like I do now. However, we all want happy kids and sadly this doesnt always fit the frame you might imagine!

If that might be a deal-breaker for someone, isn't it best for them not to have kids at all?

Well you don’t know the personality of your children until they arrive, so you’ve got no idea whether they would be a person you would enjoy spending time with.

Exactly this. I’m fairly certain it’s just an opportunity to brag about what good parents OPs and others on this thread are.

I’m a SAHM to a young baby and an almost 3 year old with additional needs. My son can be very difficult to care for as he is non verbal and has limited understanding, so doesn’t listen to instructions most of the time. He’s also hyperactive and has a tendency to try and run off every chance he gets. He’s not in school yet but during term time goes to play group for a couple of hours a day, which really helps to give me a break and let me focus on just the baby for a bit. I sometimes do dread school holidays a bit because I have no family support so I have my son all the time and have to keep him entertained all day with activities that will fit around the baby. I love him more than anything in the world but my life is just more difficult in the school holidays.

Love it and hate it, my 6yo is great fun, he's a daredevil and always on the go so planning days out with him is quite easy and enjoyable, he'll enjoy most things from a mountain walk or finding a waterfall, to a theme park or farm and everything in between. But he is exhausting and working around him (self employed) is difficult

My eldest isn't interested in leaving the house unless the activity is his idea of fun, he's absolutely not a daredevil so no climbing centres/high ropes sort of thing, he will do theme parks but they're probably the most expensive option, he'll do an escape room but the youngest is a bit too young still. A beach day is acceptable, mountain walks induce much moaning! He's easy to please in that he'll happily stay home but that equals lots of screen time

So we have 2 opposite ends of the spectrum to please on a tight budget while trying not to let work get overwhelmingly behind. We can't not do anything because the youngest will go stir crazy, we can't do too much or the eldest feels hard done by. He's 13 so still a bit young to leave home alone all day long.

They also eat a ridiculous amount! My shopping bill goes up a lot in the holidays and it's noticeable as my youngest gets FSM (everyone does in primary in wales)

@Thisisit26 I have struggled with this during this holiday. The 12 yr old doesn’t want to do much particularly if it’s free & the 10 yr old prefers to chill & read.

Do they do less total weeks of school? Or the holidays are divided up differently?

I would have a different preference, a shorter summer holiday- maybe 4 weeks rather than 7. And add those 3 weeks onto the half terms so they are 2 weeks each, or 2 half terms per term. I find mine are wrecked by time they get to each school holiday, between school, homework and lots of extracurriculars. Which they love, but it's tiring for both them and us. I love school holidays, less rushing around to get to school, clubs etc. DH and I both work full or nearly full time, but I do more hours termtime to do less during school holidays, so we only have 3 days to cover rather than 5, which helps.

But we live in a village where lots of their friends are close by, every visit to park they find a friend. Plus we can afford some day trips - we got merlin passes this year and did 2 theme parks and a day out in London (eye, sealife centre etc) just during the Easter holidays, in 1 month they have covered their annual cost! But they were a £400 outlay which not everyone has available in one go.

Not all children cope well with school holidays... Whilst my 7yo has been mostly fine for most of the break, when they're not, they're really not. They repeatedly screamed "I'm going to fucking kill you" at DH last night. I ended up signed off from work for three weeks after the February half term due to the abuse, so I was (understandably, I think) a bit apprehensive about Easter.

Imagine being so unable to be apart from your children that you take them out of school when they are meant to be at school.