AIBU not to understand parents dreading school holidays with their children?

Be even more sad if you end up homeless as you can't pay your bills due to spending all school holidays playing with kids and not earning

I look forward to getting out of the school routine but holidays are hard and getting increasingly harder as the years go on.
we have zero family support, my job entails working from home as we don’t have a physical office.
I try and balance work with summer clubs but one of my children has additional needs and can no longer cope in a club. Every day there are meltdowns as things are different and out of routine. My other child is highly active but shy so hates going to summer clubs, he gets bored easily and fed up of his brothers meltdowns which often mean we can’t get out of the house. So please consider how different peoples circumstances are before you judge them. I love time with my children but it’s truly mentally exhausting with the constant juggling and feelings of guilt.
i feel so inadequate with the ‘perfect holiday’ parents as im sure many do.

I love the school holidays. No waiting around in the freezing rain for my kids to come out of school, no having to see/deal with moronic teachers that have all the brains of a garden pea. No avoiding the PTFA mafia, no having to hurry mornings along, not getting enough sleep or breakfast. No hustling them into their uniforms, fighting with my autistic son about his sleeves, or persuading my ADHDer into an itchy uniform. They can stay naked all day.
I still have to work, but I deliberately cut my days shorter and do stuff with my children.
I hate the boring, humdrum routine of school and if it weren’t for the costs involved I would home educate (I am an ex teacher of 10 years experience with 8 years as a SENDCO)

How do you manage work with kids at home

^^ This!

I remember saying that I was dreading the school holidays to another mum after my daughter started pre-school and she replied that she enjoyed the holidays because she likes spending time with her children. I realised that she had a good point and I was only saying it because that's what everyone else says so I thought they were something to be dreaded!

I'm so glad I had that realisation early on - the logistics can be tricky, but I do love have some chilled time with my kids.

I don't dread the holidays at all but I do find it difficult to entertain my DC all day. I'm autistic and I don't know if that's the reason. I find it hard to be "on" and talked to constantly all day. I can feel overstimulated. I need downtime and I can get that with my DC but that generally involves letting them watch tv while I do something alone like read / cook / clean / watch tv but feel guilty for doing that.

Love school holidays. During term we are up at 6.30 to ensure DS is out of the house to catch 7.30 bus (we are rural so long bus ride to secondary school). During holidays I can have my alarm set for 8, showered, get a couple of chores done and be at my desk for 9, not feeling like crap.

I really like mine being on holiday as long as I’ve got the time off work. And also enjoyed it when they were younger as long as I was off. Or if they’re doing something independently/ an activity club for the younger one (12) that they enjoy.

What I don’t like is having younger one - particularly when he was younger but still now - just rattling round the house when I’m working, so I make sure that doesn’t happen.

Older one is 17 now but obviously used to be younger and I don’t have that short a memory. Obviously having her in the house doesn’t bother me at all - mind you, having her in the house when I was working didn’t bother me when she was 11/12 but she’s a different personality to my son!

I can work fine with him in the house with a friend after school, or on his own after school, but whole days of that are no good anyone.

So what I’m saying is, I can understand them dreading it if they have primary school aged or even early secondary aged kids just knocking about the house when they’re working!

And obviously the holidays are tricky if you haven’t got any money to do things.

I do like spending time with DD, on days out, holidays, watching films, walking the dog etc are all great. We usually do a holiday or trip away most school holidays.

What I do find difficult is time just chilling at home. If she's not watching TV she does want me to play with her constantly which I find very hard to enjoy. I'm an adult I don't have the imagination for playing schools, Barbies, Sylvanian families, I find it draining. I do organise play dates but i feel it is important as an only child for her to learn to entertain herself at least a bit! It is getting better with age TBF but a slow process. She doesn't use a tablet or game or anything like that so it's just TV or playing if we're at home with no plans

ND mum here with ND girls. I prefer the holidays as I'm not getting mutiny about attending school. But it's tough.

Eldest is ASD/ADHD and can't leave me alone (which includes constant touching and sometimes licking my face) giving and needing firm hugs and jumping on me (she's 12). She argues a lot with younger DD and enjoys different things.

I'm constantly overstimulated and feeling guilty, and struggling to balance plans to keep everyone even.

I know you are excluding ND families from your judgement but you don't know how it is for your 'friends'. The guilt of not being a perfect parent when that's your only job, how the children are behind closed doors, the pressure of keeping the housework up to standard whilst entertaining the children.

That should say “pretty intense for some people” not domestic people 🙄

Well clearly, because if they felt like this they wouldn’t opt to have their kids at home 365 days a year would they!!

Single mum, full time worker, limited spare cash, always love the holidays when I can spend more time with my children ❤️

I think often people say things for a bit of effect and I agree with others who have said it’a fashionable to dislike your kids. Or rather, it’s not fashionable to rave about them. Cracking a joke on a Teams call about how tough it is in the school holidays and how you’ve been drinking vodka for breakfast to survive seems to be more the ‘done thing’ than singing your kids praises these days.

I wonder sometimes (in work settings) if it’s women pushing back against the idea that they are primarily maternal (ie not career orientated).

Also, I would say that school holidays are pretty intense for domestic people. We have a 4 and a 2yo and we were away (in the uk) for 10 days and whilst we had a lot of fun, it was exhausting. I am looking forward to the eldest being back at school and the youngest being back at nursery, not because I wish we’d not had the holiday, but because we need to recover domestically. Jobs needs doing, boring stuff needs to happen and it’s all been put on hold for the last 2 weeks. I don’t hate my kids but I am looking forward to getting back to the normal routine for a bit.

I used to love them and nearly all my friends were the same and I was a single mum to 4DC before I met my DH and we now have 5DC,ours are all grown up now,our youngest DD is 18 and we now have a DGS from our older DD so now we get too spend time with him during the school holidays and we love it.

Well, to be fair, no one knows who much they will enjoy spending school holidays with the 7yo they haven’t got yet, when they decide to have kids.

I find the same. It's like it's become fashionable to dislike your children.

It's like when parents say they've banned Bluey because now their children have "unrealistic expectations" around how much Mum and Dad are going to play with them.

And yes, you should play with your children. It doesn't need to be imaginary games. It can be craft or cooking or reading together or board games. Watch the Bluey episode "Octopus" if you need it explaing.

Even in this day and age when there's more than enough information and education around I think too many people want a baby to cuddle and dress up and then are shocked when said baby grows up and they actually have to parent it.

100% agree @Malinia ^

Yanbu. I don't get it. Mine are 16 and 11 and I love spending time with them. I never understood the holiday dead. I now home educate my youngest and I enjoy being with him every day, he's good company! So is my teen, and we spend quite a bit of time together. I really don't understand people who don't like their own children.

I don’t judge parents for hating the school holidays, but I do think it’s shit to moan about it in front of the kids.

I like spending time with my kids playing board games or taking them out to museums or the park or reading with them. I hate imaginative play however and right now at 5 this is a lot of what my son wants to do. I try my best but it’s soooo boring. So yeah I can’t wait til he goes back to school tomorrow 😅 He’s also ND (like me) and really craves the routine.

Meh – I don't think it's something worth getting bent out of shape about. It's usually just a casual, throwaway comment. Not every parents has to enjoy every stage of parenting. My twins, when they were 6-7. were generally in a really positive, content and agreeable place, but 8-9 has been hyper-squabbling, discontent and low-tolerance for boredom – so no, I don't really think that's fun. And that's allowed. Who knows, maybe 10-11 will be a bit better. Maybe it'll be worse, who knows.

Children can react adversely to school holidays, they are out of structure and routine, bedtime go a bit awry, they can miss their friends, spend too much time with siblings they have to contend with, etc etc.

Life ebbs and flows. No biggie.

I dread school holidays. I have three kids, two asd sons. From the moment my 8 year old wakes til he goes to sleep he is hyperactive, demanding and just non stop. He doesnt mean to but he is constantly moving, jumping, bumping, breaking things. The kids are noisy and clash. One loves to mimic police sirens. During school holidays I feel like is am a life guard at a pool for erratic cats, there is never a moments peace. Today one of them decided to tap plates together to see what would happen, what happens is they break and china goes everywhere. One decided to sit on top of the fridge with a laundry basket of shoes and throw them at his brother. One threw every ball we had on the roof, then got upset all the balls where on the roof. They refuse to go outside, then decide they both need to go outside at the exact same time on the trampoline and jump on each other.
I do take them out for activities and fun but due to their asd sensory issues and inflexible thinking every place they have an issue with. Its just bloody exhausting. School provides routine, consistency and structure and keeps them occupied for a few hours then we have our evening together.

I loved the holidays. No early morning scramble - pjs until lunch. Pottering and playing. Life is easy.

I think a lot of mums these days still think they have to entertain children 24/7 and never let them experience a single minute of boredom. And yet boredom is developmentally really important for them to experience. It helps with resilience, creativity, patience, imagination etc.

Yes this is me entirely. DS is 4 and can still have his unreasonable moments and DD is one and into everything so I can't catch a moments break. We've done some really nice things and got out and about lots. So I've both enjoyed the holidays and I'm glad they are over. I really enjoyed the chances I got to take DS out on his own.