AIBU not to understand parents dreading school holidays with their children?

I was always enthusiastic at the beginning of the holidays, and then would usually get to the last week or so of the long summer holidays and be looking forward to them going back to school and getting back into a routine. I did enjoy the school holidays overall

I don’t have kids but find this phenomenon very odd. In my last job the two directors (one male, one female) had two children a piece, and they would literally engineer work trips so that we would need an overnight stay in a hotel to “get a break from the kids”. For example we would have a meeting with a client a 3-hour train ride away and they would purposely schedule the meeting for 9am so that the team would have to travel up the night before. Those of us who liked our lives resented missing an evening with our DP just so they could have dinner in peace and sleep in a hotel room. It was a nightmare, to be honest.

I think parents underestimate how difficult it is with children (no matter how much they wanted them) to properly relax. Annual leave is always booked around the children and is almost never used to rest and recover. Add in a high stress job and burnout is a very real threat.

also there are a lot of parents who say as sarcasm, they will have good things and bad things to say about school holiday time but added expense, no space to even collect thoughts, having to entertain kids are real issues. Don’t forget that AL doesn’t even cover all the school holidays and parents stress about children being sick at other times in the year etc.

the cost of living is a stress in itself let alone school holidays where kids eat constantly. Even a cinema trip is like £30 for 4 where I am, a zoo trip £50 for entry alone…..those without kids would be shocked if they realised.

I love the holidays, even though it’s just me (DH dragged along sometimes) making sure they are entertained throughout, no ‘village’ to help, simply because we don’t have to rush out of the house at the crack of dawn for school each morning. We can relax a little and enjoy each other’s company. There is always pressure there though to make sure they are given a good, fun ‘break!’, combination of activities in doors and fun-days out.

I’ve never dreaded the holidays as I’ve always planned for them months in advance. As soon as one school holiday is over and kids are back to school, I’m planning / booking days out for the next - this helps me spread the cost and also means I’m not dreading being off with them.

Do your DC not spend time with their school friends during the holidays? Or any cheap activity days/summer clubs in your area?

I used to love school holidays - but at that time I was a term time worker so I was off work myself.

I think it must be a lot harder for people having to juggle annual leave, and even those who are SAHPs probably have a term time routine which then gets broken.

I don't really look forward to the Nov/Feb half terms if I'm honest. I'm usually saving/recovering financially from Christmas, the weather is cold/rainy etc and there's often very little to do. I do enjoy my children but a week with a tiny budget and not being able to get outdoors is a drag. I very much enjoy May half term, Easter hols and of course the summer holidays (though i do believe 6 weeks is too long, it should be reduced to 4 and have the extra 2 elsewhere in the academic year).

Non verbal, learning disabled, severely autistic child here with no play skills who spirals when out of routine - I would love to enjoy the holidays.

2 kids both ND, no family support and a DH who works very long hours

It never ceases to amaze me how many people on here struggle to grasp that their experience is not the only experience.

They definitely shouldn’t be saying it infront of the kids but honestly, everyone’s situations are different. I have always loved the school hols with my son however I’ve just had a baby who is 2 months old and I definitely struggled this Easter break. Some people are genuinely just struggling.

I always thought I'd home school until age 5. My relationship with my DC chose otherwise. We love each other to bits but too much time together and we just start annoying each other. School holidays were hellish because actually you don't have endless money or energy to be going on trips all the time. And you never knew whether it was going to be a day for doing nothing or a day full of energy. We'd just end up grumpy and irritable and hopeful for the new term to start!

You say you are a single parent, can i ask if you co parent? do they have weekends etc with dad?

I admit i do find the school holidays long & tedious. Im a sahm & no friends or family near by. So stuck at home with kids not seeing anyone is soul destroying. I feel guilty because kids dont see many other people in holidays. My husband is not hands on, so i dont get a break either. I mean atleast when they are in school i can get in car and go shopping on my own . For me it feels like im back in lockdown when kids are home for weeks.

YABU

i love my kids (now both adults) dearly, but they are both ND (Autistic/dyslexic/ADHD) and fought like cat and dog through childhood and still don’t get along even now they are both in their 20s.

They are just completely different human beings, One is sporty, the other into reading/cooking etc. it was impossible to find things they both enjoyed doing and they are generally better off apart from each other. We tried taking it in turns, but that meant one of them hated whatever we were doing and was therefore difficult.

School holidays were a nightmare and I couldn’t wait to get back to work. Individually - fine, together it was like WW3 all of the time.

I guess that makes me a bad parent, but as they are now both fully functioning adults, I can live with it.

I’m with you, single parent here and 2 kids age 6 and 7, I love it when my children are off school. But as others have said as mine go to holiday club for some of it I guess I still get a break, although I really envy parents who get to spend every day with their kids.

I think you are taking it a bit too literally. Some people might just be moaning, others might (or their children might) have physical or mental health issues. There could be financial issues, abuse, difficulties managing children and work.

To unilaterally decide that all people who don’t enjoy school holidays with their children must dislike that is a huge leap. Do you also believe we all have the same 24 hours in a day? 🙄

So, I am always torn about this.

On the one hand, I work in a v demanding FT job and my DH is a teacher, so enjoys holidays off with our primary aged kids. Its not a lie to say I have a little sob each school holiday as I pootle off to work and leave them all. I can only usually take a day or two max per half-term as leave. I feel like I'm missing out all the time, and whilst they're super happy to have Dad home to play with, I am sad about it. They'll grow up and their memories of school holidays will not include me much. When I am off I make a big effort to plan days out and fill our time well though.

Meanwhile, most friends are teachers and off with their kids all holiday. They do get pretty stressed out about it and I can see why. I appreciate that I probably have rose-tinted glasses about what its like.

I guess the ideal is a nice happy medium!

I'm also a single parent But the working/holiday juggle is hard. Mine are 14 and 11, and after so many years of it, there were def times that I dreaded the holidays. Limited holiday clubs or kids being really bored of them and now wanting to go. Or they fell out with the friends I was sharing childcare with or the kids turned out to be a nightmare! Or they want to see their friends, but holidays don't align so are bored. They want to be on screens and I am dragging them off. It was easier when they were little and biddable - you are in the sweet spot now. We did loads of park trips when they were little - could easily waste most of the day but they don't want to do that now! I just had a week off with them and it was lovely, all of us just pottering around, but I've rarely been able to take that long off in recent years.

Because planning to have a baby is very different to the reality of having a child once they hit about 5 years old. No one has any idea what type of child they will have. I love my child but I work full time and she's always been in school/nursery, I don't want to spend 24/7 with her, same as I don't want to spend 24/7 with anyone, it's too intense. I am not just a parent

Because I have four children between the age of 15 and 6.

The weather, aside from a couple of days, has been rubbish.

Im skint because we are about to be made homeless.

My house is full of packed boxes.

My husband works nights and needs to sleep during day, and he hasnt got much sleep be cause kids make noise.

It was a huge relief today when they went back

You sound unbearable

That’s why I left teaching. I could feel my brain cells being crushed. Thankfully I left before too much of my brain was dead. I mean I went on to get 2 more masters degrees and 3 degrees in medical fields, so I guess I’m not unintelligent, thankfully.

Nice username OP. It suits you.

Out of interest, are you still moronic with a brain the size of a pea or did that magically change when you left teaching? I suppose this proves the PP right that less intelligent people are more likely to enjoy time off with their children 😉

Because people told me it's different when they're your own, and I believed them! Now I know it's not different but what do you expect me to do - put them back where they came from?!🙄

I am afraid I am one of those terrible mothers who often doesn't enjoy spending time with her children. They're not difficult. They're lovely and I adore them, but I hate imaginary play. I don't find the walks, parks, museums, beach trips particularly interesting or fun (at least not with them). I find the constant noise and demands, the chatter and bouncing around incredibly overstimulating. Cooking or baking with them? No way, I just want to get on with it, making as little mess as possible.

I wish I could enjoy it more, I really do, but it's just not who I am. I realise I sound terrible but in my defence I'm not shit at every part of mothering. Some bits I'm great at - and I think that's fair to say of all of us. Some of the mothers who are great at playing with their kids aren't necessarily so good at other parts of parenting. I try to give myself some grace for us all being different but I do still feel bad about this subject and really don't need other, more 'perfect' mothers pointing it out, thanks, because what exactly do you expect me to do? How can I change it? I do what they need me to in terms of crafts and games etc. but enjoy it? Not very often. Believe me, I wish it could be different.

Yeah same. I’m autistic and my son is also ND (type as yet unconfirmed) and he must be singing or talking at all times. I love him but it drives me round the bend. Tomorrow I get to be in the house all alone in complete silence 😬