To want to work part time?

What a prick. Earns £90k and pleading poverty? I do think you should try and look for better paid work though, not to appease him but in case you end up on your own.

WTF am i reading!!!! Why did you reproduce with this Prince of a man? You have two small children and he expects you to also work full time and pay for everything too? What is the actual point in him? He is a high earning father who should be taking pride in providing for his family while his wife cares for his small children. All money goes into a pot where household expenses come out of, savings are allocated and spends are shared equally. What the hell has happened to men? No wonder women are going it alone if this is what men are behaving like!! What does he think is the point in his fucking existence? Are you roommates?

this is very sad OP. Lots of women want to be at home with their kids, whether full or part time, and they can’t afford to. Your husband can afford it. You are team, you need to be working through life together, you need to be rowing in the same boat.

wanting you to earn more because he’s tired of supporting is not a nice statement. Feeling embarrassed about your work is just awful. It’s like he’s talking about some long lost relative that he can’t stand but needs to send money to every month, and actually he doesn’t to want to anymore! You are his wife!

you need to sit down with a real discussion about what is going on here. Your kids are young. He can’t stand afford it. Hope it works out for you 🫶

Im p/t & in the public sector & my youngest is 10.

DH helps with drop offs/kids activities & does most of the cooking.

But could your DH be feeling financial pressure?

This!
he sounds terrible and as a family all money should be pooled in to one pot.

Also the cost of childcare (not just wraparound) but holiday clubs etc is a massive factor too especially for 2 kids and so I’d be factoring this in too plus if you then said you wanted a cleaner to help aswell as childcare, how much better off would you be???

he sounds like a bully. I wouldn’t be standing for this!

Does he like you? You are meant to be a team. Did he want kids?

Did you discuss how finances will work prior to having the children?

YANBU but sounds like he either wasn’t on board with you being part time in the first place or he didn’t really want kids. Or at least he doesn’t feel responsible for them.

You shouldn’t be paying for your maternity leave- you should have worked out TOGETHER how you would BOTH afford it, jointly.

I would be pointing out that if you go full time, then he will need to step up with doing his share of all of the things you currently do for them. Ie pickups/drop offs, appointments etc.

He doesn’t sound like a good partner tbh.

You have chosen to have children with a man who sees your contribution to family life as nothing!
pick your self respect up off the floor and tell him to fuck off!

Sorry... where is his money going?
Does he have a big stash of spending money for himself and a pot of savings?

Why were you forced into debt during Maternity leave?

Presumably if you worked full time, you'd need childcare costs?

Does he realise that these are also HIS children, his household etc?

You're husband is a twat. Wants you doing all the childcare and housework as well as an equal financial contribution. I don't know why people are shocked at the trad wife movement when so many women are expected to do it all.
Tell him you're embarrassed to tell your friends that your DH doesn't want to be a provider and is trying to push you into full time work.
I'd stay part time and consider leaving him and claiming child maintenance.

There is nothing selfish about a Woman wanting to be at home more for her children. What was your husband's reaction when you talked about how having children, and working would look like, to you, before having them. Also I am not sure why he is embarrassed about saying what job you do, and who you work for. Nobody really should care.

Your husband is embarrassed of you working in the public sector?? He sounds like a great catch! He is financially controlling, doesn't pull his weight in the house, insults you... what if any are his goof features?

I’d find the concept of asking my husband for financial ‘help’ absurd - we are one household unit. Your husband sounds like a boorish bully. what does he do with ‘his’ excess cash?

Have you had a conversation around how the household finances stack up? I’d also suggest that this is the state of play while your kids are small but when they return to school (3 years) you can explore a different chapter.