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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Acquitence went to kiss toddler

267 replies

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:30

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

OP posts:
MissHoof · 12/04/2026 13:58

ExtraOnions · 12/04/2026 10:06

She took her to Laos with asking ??? No wonder your so annoyed

Yes. I agree with you OP. Laos is a long way. I'd be a bit irritated too.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/04/2026 13:52

Blimey OP you been on the sherry?

BudgetBuster · 12/04/2026 13:49

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

But this person was an acquaintance of yours? Why are you hanging out with people you think are predators?

Also.. you don't teach your kids that caregivers are affectionate... AND IT SHOWS!

Ribbonwort · 12/04/2026 13:44

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

Respectfully, think about what you’re modelling for your child. Automatic suspicion and hostility, followed by angry internet posts in which you are aggressive to anyone who doesn’t agree with you, are not a proportionate response to an acquaintance trying to help distract your tantrumming toddler as you get your stuff together to leave an event.

CaptainMyCaptain · 12/04/2026 13:36

VickyEadieofThigh · 12/04/2026 09:55

She did not "undermine your parenting skills". She was trying to help you.

And she didn't actually kiss your child.

You need to get a grip.

This. I think @sarahmaguire has a very difficult future ahead if she is going to refuse all attempts at help.

LittleMissClutter · 12/04/2026 13:26

Hayxfever · 12/04/2026 13:03

This is why I gave up helping or lending a hand to anyone.

I dont babysit I wont even hold a baby just incase im doing it wrong.
I have 2 kids of my own now grown up and I was bloody happy sometimes for someone to step in.

I wouldn't give up if I were you.

Outside of Mumsnet, most mothers are fairly normal women and wouldn't dream of overreacting like the OP has.

IdaGlossop · 12/04/2026 13:21

I read posts like this and despair. An act of kindness is rejected. Sad for the mother and sad for the toddler, who is going to grow up with low levels of trust in others. In OP's shoes, I would have looked at what was happening and been pleased go have the help. I can see only one possible downside: the toddler not wanting the interaction. In that case, any reasonable parent would think the acquaintance znd take the child back.

lizzyBennet08 · 12/04/2026 13:21

Not sure why you posted..? you clearly think she was a wired pedo person as opposed to trying to help and won't be told otherwise..

FigTreeInEurope · 12/04/2026 13:20

I'm a bloke who is a full time parent every day. My wife works. I have women stepping in on my parenting all day, everyday. They immediately assume I'm struggling even in the most mundane every day situations and cross boundaries I'd prefer they didn't. It honestly irritates the hell out of me, but I also think it comes from a good place ultimately, and offer a gracious thank you for the help. I'm in Italy where a man taking on this role is like rocking horse shit, and feels culturally threatening on some level. You've got to have good humour about it though, or you'll spend your whole parenting experience being over protective and annoyed.

Hayxfever · 12/04/2026 13:03

This is why I gave up helping or lending a hand to anyone.

I dont babysit I wont even hold a baby just incase im doing it wrong.
I have 2 kids of my own now grown up and I was bloody happy sometimes for someone to step in.

LucyLancaster · 12/04/2026 13:00

ValidPistachio · 12/04/2026 09:54

Only one person is coming across as weird here, and it's not the acquitence [sic].

🤣

5128gap · 12/04/2026 12:55

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

Are you saying you were seriously worried that this woman did this because she's a pedophile? If so, you should really look up the stats on how vanishingly rare this is. Because you do not have reason to fear other women to this extent and you are going to cause yourself a great deal of unecessary concern if you go on believing that a woman engaging with your baby is at all likely to be 'predatory'.

GingerdeadMan · 12/04/2026 12:55

OP, your child, your choice. You don't have to like it.

But, if you didn't say anything, YABU to seethe with resentment and anger that someone has done something you didn't like.

She was clearly trying to be helpful and the behaviour you describe sounds well within the bounds of normal.

I find it really sad how people complain there is no community or 'village' any more, then go ballistic when anyone interacts with their kids.

BuckChuckets · 12/04/2026 12:37

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

You "don't teach them that care givers kiss" - what does this even mean? Are you saying you don't kiss your child? I suppose that could explain the bizarre overreaction.

Nowvoyager99 · 12/04/2026 12:29

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

Why are you repeatedly lying. She didn’t kiss them. Did she?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 12/04/2026 12:22

Minuethippo · 12/04/2026 12:13

OP do you suffer from anxiety?

Only in Laos.

ERthree · 12/04/2026 12:19

Bloody hell, my family are Southern Med and when visiting the island my babies and toddlers must have been kissed by every resident on the island whether we knew them or not. My children are now healthy happy sociable adults and the only memories they have of their childhood visits to the island are happy ones. Maybe you are a little stressed right now ?

Tacohill · 12/04/2026 12:18

Onmytod24 · 12/04/2026 12:01

If that had happened to me, it would be really annoying. She sounds like a sort of person who’s like the perfect mum and can solve all problems even when the problem doesn’t exist. People like that make me sick but that’s just me.

I don’t know how people like you manage to get through the day without having a nervous breakdown.

You sound like a complete snowflake.

Tacohill · 12/04/2026 12:16

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:47

I wasnt stressed?

I did however get stressed when my toddler was removed from my sight, put on an adults lap and they went in to kiss them..

Edited

You watched as a stranger took your child so far away that you couldn’t see them anymore?

Minuethippo · 12/04/2026 12:13

OP do you suffer from anxiety?

Nothankyoupleasenottoday · 12/04/2026 12:13

8 pages of people saying you are over reacting op. Are you prepared to even consider the fact that you might be?

pimplebum · 12/04/2026 12:12

Also she didn’t actually kiss your toddler but if she had would it have been so terrible ?

FarmGirl78 · 12/04/2026 12:12

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

SHE DIDN'T KISS YOUR CHILD!!

ValidPistachio · 12/04/2026 12:11

Onmytod24 · 12/04/2026 12:01

If that had happened to me, it would be really annoying. She sounds like a sort of person who’s like the perfect mum and can solve all problems even when the problem doesn’t exist. People like that make me sick but that’s just me.

People who help out make you sick? Goodness me, you sound very delicate.

pimplebum · 12/04/2026 12:10

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:47

I wasnt stressed?

I did however get stressed when my toddler was removed from my sight, put on an adults lap and they went in to kiss them..

Edited

You said “ flustered”. Which is another word for stressed

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