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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Acquitence went to kiss toddler

267 replies

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:30

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

OP posts:
Ribbonwort · 13/04/2026 08:10

nomas · 13/04/2026 08:08

Where did OP say evil? Overreaction much.

She said ‘women can be predatory’ and claimed the woman took the child out of sight.

nomas · 13/04/2026 08:08

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/04/2026 08:07

But accusing an innocent woman of evil intent towards a baby is OK.

Where did OP say evil? Overreaction much.

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/04/2026 08:07

nomas · 13/04/2026 07:55

Making fun of a woman in distress who made a typo is very mean.

But accusing an innocent woman of evil intent towards a baby is OK.

Wordsmithery · 13/04/2026 08:06

I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care

OP, this is a rather extreme boundary. It's wonderful for children to be nurtured and - to me - having non-family cuddle children in this way reinforces a sense of community that is sadly fast disappearing.

I wonder if you should speak to your GP about anxiety.

nomas · 13/04/2026 07:55

BudgetBuster · 12/04/2026 17:02

Laos sounds dangerous 😂

Making fun of a woman in distress who made a typo is very mean.

YankSplaining · 13/04/2026 03:11

This is absolutely batshit. A fellow mother tries to comfort your crying child, and you’re acting like she’s a probable child molester. Personally, I think female sexual predators are probably underreported, and I don’t believe it’s so vanishingly rare. But this woman did absolutely nothing that would suggest she might be one.

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/04/2026 02:27

If she took your child out of your sight (and you didn't say that in your first post) how could you see the mock kisses and hear what she said (which you do mention in your first post)?

mathanxiety · 13/04/2026 01:49

Onmytod24 · 12/04/2026 12:01

If that had happened to me, it would be really annoying. She sounds like a sort of person who’s like the perfect mum and can solve all problems even when the problem doesn’t exist. People like that make me sick but that’s just me.

No, there are two of you.

mathanxiety · 13/04/2026 01:40

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:51

Yes image someone you bareky know grabbing your child, undermining your parenting skills or style, not even ask you if you want a hand (I was just next to him and watching him), then put him on her lap (imagine if it was a man), out of sight and away from you, and still continued to understand mine you and do an unsafe thing when he's safely in the pram.....

She's weird.

Nah, you are really, really overreacting.

She grabbed? Undermined your parenting skills? Imagine if it was a man?
All in your mind. Be careful with your self talk.

IdentityCris · 13/04/2026 00:09

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:51

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

This woman is someone you know and has a child of the same age as yours. Are you seriously suggesting she had some sort of predatory intentions towards your child - and solely on the basis of what you've told us in this thread?

It's not this woman who is weird.

Nervousmummy2 · 13/04/2026 00:02

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 11:47

I wasnt stressed?

I did however get stressed when my toddler was removed from my sight, put on an adults lap and they went in to kiss them..

Edited

Here we go again you were stood doing nothing watching him but he gets lost from your sight but you just so happen to watch a pretend silly play kissinh noise happen … make it make sense

Nervousmummy2 · 12/04/2026 23:59

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:05

You like your kids being taken to sit on Laos out of your sight and kissed? Ok

You said you were watching him so if that’s true your line of sight would never of left him and your eyes would have followed him being lifted to her lap but apparently you couldn’t see him or where he went after standing and watching him… while she tried to do something to stop the tantrum you apparently were doing nothing but watching him an then couldn’t see him but knew he’d been put on her nap… make it make sense and you are being unreasonable

IdentityCris · 12/04/2026 23:52

nomas · 12/04/2026 10:47

Because she has had to type out responses to various people.

She has said mock kissing, do you really need her to add the ‘mock’ every time?

Give OP a break, she is dealing with a pile on from dozens of posters.

Well, yes. There's a very material difference. OP kept asking if people would be OK with others kissing their kids. The answer to that is obviously likely to be "no"; however, if she asked whether they would be OK with people making kissing sounds at their kids, the answer is likely to be along the lines of "why not?" because it's essentially no different from making clicking sounds or something similar to amuse the child.

IdentityCris · 12/04/2026 23:48

nomas · 12/04/2026 10:43

She didn’t say anything to the acquaintance.

Why are you accusing OP of calling her disgusting and trying to undermine her?

I didn't. I said she had accused her of doing something disgusting and of trying to undermine OP. And I said that because that is what OP did: she has described this woman as gross, unsafe, weird and predatory.

IdentityCris · 12/04/2026 23:40

nomas · 12/04/2026 10:42

And…when someone obviously doesn’t like you having their child on their lap and takes them away, don’t compound your behaviour by getting into child’s face and making kissy faces. The mum doesn’t like it, that should be enough.

There are many mums who would be fine with this, but OP is not, and she is allowed her boundaries.

But how would the woman know that OP didn't like it? It seems clear she was just trying to be helpful.

GinaandGin · 12/04/2026 19:23

Are you OK OP?
Is there something else happening?

You were advised that you were being unreasonable (you were) and double downed and got defensive because MNers weren't agreeing with you.

Sartre · 12/04/2026 18:24

Well she could be an absolute unhinged weirdo or potential child abuser but I actually think applying Occam’s razor wouldn’t go amiss here, she was trying to help you out as a mother with children the same age.

Jeschara · 12/04/2026 18:20

I said upthread I dont believe this thread is real. However I deduced from it the the OP is very immature, she name calls dreadful things and is incapable of any logical thinking.

I think though you need to get some help. You come across here as very silly, also some of the things you said could cause serious upset for the woman you are speaking about. You will also find people who avoid you like the plague. If this is not made up you still need help.

BudgetBuster · 12/04/2026 17:02

HotGazpacho · 12/04/2026 16:40

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Laos sounds dangerous 😂

IdaGlossop · 12/04/2026 16:43

HotGazpacho · 12/04/2026 16:40

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

There be dragons.

HotGazpacho · 12/04/2026 16:40

MissHoof · 12/04/2026 14:00

A tiger with anger issues!
Or a bear!
Just imagine!

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

bugalugs45 · 12/04/2026 16:38

saveforthat · 12/04/2026 10:24

I really hope this isn't true. If it is, what a sad life you must lead. When my son was a baby, it was normal for acquaintances to pick him up and cuddle him. Don't go on holiday to a Mediterranean country. Waiters there may pick up your toddler and dance around the restaurant with him.

I’ve had this in Greece and Turkey , little one loved it & we got to eat our dinner in peace , win win !

Frankcat19 · 12/04/2026 16:15

Love posts like this. You ask if you are unreasonable. 90% say yes and you continue to argue that the other party was unreasonable 🙄

Ribbonwort · 12/04/2026 14:00

MissHoof · 12/04/2026 13:58

Yes. I agree with you OP. Laos is a long way. I'd be a bit irritated too.

True.

MissHoof · 12/04/2026 14:00

Hallamule · 12/04/2026 09:55

Imagine I'd it was a man.

Never mind that, imagine if it was a tiger! If it was a tiger you definitely wouldnt be being unreasonable. As it is though I think you are, a little.

A tiger with anger issues!
Or a bear!
Just imagine!

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