Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Acquitence went to kiss toddler

267 replies

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:30

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 12/04/2026 10:06

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:05

You like your kids being taken to sit on Laos out of your sight and kissed? Ok

She took her to Laos with asking ??? No wonder your so annoyed

Peanutbutterkitty · 12/04/2026 10:06

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:39

I wouldn't touch another child without asking the patient unless they were in danger.

The mock kissing is gross.

Edited

Since moving abroad i have never experienced anyone with this view that only parents should show young children affection! Its really culturally specific to certain groups within the UK and it's very normal for people - especially mothers - to be kind and affectionate to children of friends. I dont see your problem and it sounds like she was trying to help.

Jeschara · 12/04/2026 10:05

This did not happen, no one could be as stupid as you. The name calling was Infantile.

BrentfordForever · 12/04/2026 10:05

If someone helped me out, by distracting my screaming kid while I sorted crappy pram out… I’d kiss her myself 🤣

she’s not just anyone , she’s not a perv , she’s a fellow mum with a kid same age , so she has the empathy you ve probably not used to

LittleBearPad · 12/04/2026 10:05

She was trying to help. It really isn’t as bad as you’re making out.

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:05

ReignOfError · 12/04/2026 10:03

She sounds helpful and kind, you sound overwrought. Could you try to think of it as lovely that there are people around who want to help, and care enough to try to stop your child being distressed?

You like your kids being taken to sit on Laos out of your sight and kissed? Ok

OP posts:
ValidPistachio · 12/04/2026 10:04

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:03

No it's not

It really is.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 12/04/2026 10:03

YABU for the way you are behaving and reacting on here for starters.

You are massively over reacting to what happened. She probably shouldn't have stepped in it was an overstep,but your reaction is massively disproportionate. Do you always react with such intensity over something that ultimately is not anything to be this angry about? You need to get some help for your anger issues @sarahmaguire before you end up in some serious trouble.

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:03

Ribbonwort · 12/04/2026 09:59

This is a bit disproportionate.

No it's not

OP posts:
ReignOfError · 12/04/2026 10:03

She sounds helpful and kind, you sound overwrought. Could you try to think of it as lovely that there are people around who want to help, and care enough to try to stop your child being distressed?

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 10:00

VickyEadieofThigh · 12/04/2026 09:55

She did not "undermine your parenting skills". She was trying to help you.

And she didn't actually kiss your child.

You need to get a grip.

She didn't ask. She could have said do you want a hand. I was standing just there watching him. No need for her to take him out of eyesight.

OP posts:
WhatAMarvelousTune · 12/04/2026 09:59

Imagine if it was a man

Irrelevant, because it wasn’t.

You ok with your child being kissed?

Also irrelevant, since she did not kiss your child.

Ribbonwort · 12/04/2026 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This is a bit disproportionate.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 12/04/2026 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

She didn't kiss him though? You've said she mock kissed him.

Juicyblackberry · 12/04/2026 09:58

She saw you were struggling and stepped in to help. Quite normal, even though you may not like it.
You're defensive and overreacting.
So YABU.

ExtraOnions · 12/04/2026 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ah … it’s someone who is just here for an argument.

None of this happened.

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Screamingabdabz · 12/04/2026 09:56

I think the phrase ‘undermining your parenting’ explains why you feel so salty about this. From an objective point of view it does seem that she was trying to help and her intentions were not malicious or harmful.

Yes it probably stepped over a boundary, but I think you are overreacting because you feel it was a slight to your own ability to sooth your overwrought child. It was not.

Hallamule · 12/04/2026 09:55

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:51

Yes image someone you bareky know grabbing your child, undermining your parenting skills or style, not even ask you if you want a hand (I was just next to him and watching him), then put him on her lap (imagine if it was a man), out of sight and away from you, and still continued to understand mine you and do an unsafe thing when he's safely in the pram.....

She's weird.

Imagine I'd it was a man.

Never mind that, imagine if it was a tiger! If it was a tiger you definitely wouldnt be being unreasonable. As it is though I think you are, a little.

BauhausOfEliott · 12/04/2026 09:55

You’re being really OTT about this and I suspect it’s because you actually felt inadequate in your struggle to settle your toddler and feel like you were somehow being judged as a mother. Spoiler alert: you weren’t. You’re just being paranoid.

She didn’t even kiss your child FFS. She just made a kissing sound at a child who was clearly distressed.

VickyEadieofThigh · 12/04/2026 09:55

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:51

Yes image someone you bareky know grabbing your child, undermining your parenting skills or style, not even ask you if you want a hand (I was just next to him and watching him), then put him on her lap (imagine if it was a man), out of sight and away from you, and still continued to understand mine you and do an unsafe thing when he's safely in the pram.....

She's weird.

She did not "undermine your parenting skills". She was trying to help you.

And she didn't actually kiss your child.

You need to get a grip.

VimtoDemon · 12/04/2026 09:54

I agree that YABU. She was simply trying to help and didn't actually kiss him, just distracted.

Trachette · 12/04/2026 09:54

You are over reacting so much. You were struggling and she tried to help. For goodness’ sake, get a grip and move on. So precious.

ValidPistachio · 12/04/2026 09:54

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:51

Yes image someone you bareky know grabbing your child, undermining your parenting skills or style, not even ask you if you want a hand (I was just next to him and watching him), then put him on her lap (imagine if it was a man), out of sight and away from you, and still continued to understand mine you and do an unsafe thing when he's safely in the pram.....

She's weird.

Only one person is coming across as weird here, and it's not the acquitence [sic].

sarahmaguire · 12/04/2026 09:52

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 12/04/2026 09:51

How is that disgusting? Silly and an attempt to distract him, yes, but disgusting? If you feel she undermined you with your child or exacerbated his tantrum then that's something else, but it's not what you've articulated here.

You ok with your child being kissed ?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread