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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect him to get up?

84 replies

Selfishman · 12/04/2026 08:34

Staying at my DP's dad's house, which was his choice. When here our DS sleeps with me. DP is supposed to be getting up with DS this morning. I'm up before everyone else every week day, I took our DS to visit my family for 4 days over last weekend, so DP had a break. Today was his turn to get up, however we are always on eggshells, he doesn't like our DS to wake before 9/10 which to me is ridiculous because he's 6.

He woke up at 7.40, so a reasonable time. As he's sleeping next to me, I've been awake since then. I waited until 8 and told DS he could go to his dad's room- so already it's not a lie in. He stood there anxious and starting to cry that daddy would be angry. He never cries. I said we will pop down together and if daddy says anything then he can stay with me. We get down there and he's locked him bedroom door so his son can't come to him in the morning (as planned). I'm fuming. I text him and he read my messages 20 mins ago and still hasn't come in to get him.
He'll be tired as he was drinking yesterday and on Xbox late.

OP posts:
Classiclines · 12/04/2026 08:45

Oh my goodness it breaks my heart that your wee boy is only 6 and he already knows his father views him as a nuisance. He is in real danger of having his self esteem permanently affected.

What a selfish unreasonable man your partner is OP. Time to make plans for leaving the relationship for your DC"s sake, and your own.

Selfishman · 12/04/2026 08:43

MathsMum3 · 12/04/2026 08:42

DP is supposed to be getting up with DS this morning.
Was this a firm agreement, and what was the exact arrangement? (E.g., did you agree that you'll send DS to DP's room when he woke up). If you had an agreement, your DP is being a selfish dick. If not, you need to set clear plans in future so he can't wriggle out of it. Tbh, he sounds like a dick either way.

Yes it was an agreement. I was up yesterday (and all week and last weekend). It was agreed it was his turn and our son would be sent to him. It seems he just decided to lock the door until he can be bothered to wake up.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 12/04/2026 08:42

Time to leave. Your child needs to grow up feeling safe which is not currently the case, and you deserve better.

Ducks in a row time. Sorry.

Selfishman · 12/04/2026 08:42

Meadowfinch · 12/04/2026 08:40

Your child is frightened of his dad, who ignores you, and his child !!

What is the point of this man? Your child is already scared of him. Are you ok with that because I wouldn't be.

No I'm not. To be honest, this is the first time I've seen him anxious about approaching him.

OP posts:
MathsMum3 · 12/04/2026 08:42

DP is supposed to be getting up with DS this morning.
Was this a firm agreement, and what was the exact arrangement? (E.g., did you agree that you'll send DS to DP's room when he woke up). If you had an agreement, your DP is being a selfish dick. If not, you need to set clear plans in future so he can't wriggle out of it. Tbh, he sounds like a dick either way.

Selfishman · 12/04/2026 08:40

No, he has no redeeming features at all.hes angry with me now and I'm not even sure why.

Yes it is usual behaviour to be completely selfish. He will argue with me how it's not normal for a child to wake so early (8 is not early).

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 12/04/2026 08:40

Your child is frightened of his dad, who ignores you, and his child !!

What is the point of this man? Your child is already scared of him. Are you ok with that because I wouldn't be.

2026newname · 12/04/2026 08:38

If this is his usual behaviour then I would be reconsidering the relationship. The child crying is troubling.

OtterlyMad · 12/04/2026 08:36

What a prick. Does he have any redeeming qualities whatsoever?

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