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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for giving my stepson shop money so he was not left out

87 replies

EmptyTheFrickingBins · 12/04/2026 01:16

I took my two boys to a small local museum today, along with my step son (partner's child). They're 10, 6 and 6 (step son).

It has a small shop that sells pocket money bits like pens, colouring, books and small toys. I always let my boys pick a couple of bits up (usually a book each).

I have the five pounds each and realised as I did it that my step son didn't have any money so gave him five pounds too. His dad was supposed to give him his pocket money but hadn't and I couldn't leave him out.

They all picked a little treat each and we came home.

DSS's mum is furious with me for giving him money. She is very against buying "tat" and said it wasn't my place to give him pocket money.

Aibu to think you can't leave one child out?

OP posts:
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Tamtim · 18/04/2026 02:55

You did the right thing. Imagine how he’d feel if he was left out. His mother is being ridiculous.

caringcarer · 18/04/2026 00:58

Most Mums would be really grateful their DC was not left out.

ImGoneUnderground · 18/04/2026 00:31

MyDogTheInternetSensation · 12/04/2026 01:49

His dad was going to give him it anyway, so it doesn’t really make any difference who actually handed it to him.

I presume there is a backstory and this isn’t a happy blended family.

Damned if you did, damned if you didn't.... she may have had plenty to say if he had been left out, poor kid - ignore & move on. You did the right thing. (Although I may also have a word with his Dad...??).

LaverneBakerImtheonetodoitNSOUL · 15/04/2026 11:29

You'd have to be heartless to leave a 6yr old out.

Lightuptheroom · 15/04/2026 10:36

She's bonkers. My ds went to his dad and step mum every other weekend and holidays for years. I think what you did was lovely and certainly wouldn't have had an issue. Conversely in my case ds step mum took her daughters out and paid for them and pointedly asked me for the money!! So unless your dp is being a dick and asking for a refund then you're a lovely person

Firethehorse · 15/04/2026 10:26

croydon15 · 15/04/2026 10:11

Why should you lie or get the child to lie, she should be grateful that OP is kind to her child, if not she is the problem.

Show quote history

Actually I was more thinking of the child not having to think his father had forgotten.

croydon15 · 15/04/2026 10:11

Firethehorse · 15/04/2026 05:11

You sound like a caring step mum and the bio mum sounds like she’s struggling with the situation in some way. Of course you did the right thing but maybe next time say the money is from dad to avoid the issue.

Why should you lie or get the child to lie, she should be grateful that OP is kind to her child, if not she is the problem.

Firethehorse · 15/04/2026 05:11

You sound like a caring step mum and the bio mum sounds like she’s struggling with the situation in some way. Of course you did the right thing but maybe next time say the money is from dad to avoid the issue.

somanychristmaslights · 14/04/2026 15:28

Just ignore her. You did a lovely thing. What did your DP say? I assume he announce came through him? She sounds jealous that you did it, if DP had done it she wouldn’t have said anything.

Nettie1964 · 14/04/2026 14:34

whomadethatmess · 12/04/2026 01:17

You did the right thing OP and the mum sounds like a loon. Who probably would have complained if you hadn’t given him the money.

She is bat sh^t crazy. You did the right thing. Poor little boy he can leave the "tat" at yours. Some people are just mean to the soul.

JMSA · 13/04/2026 18:05

LassiKopiano24 · 12/04/2026 01:21

She would have moaned if you hadn’t given him any money! Does she usually find something to nitpick about?

Absolutely. She sounds bonkers.

croydon15 · 13/04/2026 18:02

Needaglowup · 13/04/2026 01:19

The mums a loon , she should be grateful her son had a stepmother like you, who made sure her son was not left out , he’s only 6 .. still so very little

This

Ponoka7 · 13/04/2026 13:52

If she doesn't like random stuff, what he gets stays at your house. My grandchildren's father ended up with a stepson and if my grandchildren were going out with them, I'd send sweets for all of them. You don't leave children out.

Sassylovesbooks · 13/04/2026 13:49

You did the right thing. Your step-son's Mum is thinking about her rules, and the fact that you broke them. I bet my bottom dollar, it's the fact it was you who gave her son money, rather than the money in itself. His Mum isn't putting herself into her 6 year old son's shoes. He wouldn't have understood why he couldn't have any money and would have been confused/upset.

Were you aware of this rule? I'm assuming your partner is aware? Did he deliberately not give his son money, knowing his ex would disapprove? Or did he not give two hoots what his ex says and genuinely forgot to provide his son with money?

I'm also assuming your step-son took the items he purchased back home to his Mum? In which case, I would say going forward, anything like this purchased by your step-son stays at your house. Your step-son's Mum has no say over what your partner buys their son or what her son decides to spend money on given by his Dad on his contact time.

This is now for your partner to sort out with his ex.

lauribec · 13/04/2026 06:46

Sounds to me like his mum is the one being unreasonable here. I’d be happy you included my child tbh! You’d have probably been in the wrong if you’d left him without money too, you can’t really win! 😅 and anyway it was £5 not £50 so it’s not like he’s taken a mountain of stuff home with him! I would have given him the £5 too 😊

Needaglowup · 13/04/2026 01:19

The mums a loon , she should be grateful her son had a stepmother like you, who made sure her son was not left out , he’s only 6 .. still so very little

MeganM3 · 13/04/2026 01:15

I’d have done the same. And ignore her, she’s being silly if she’d rather her child was excluded from a bit of harmless fun in a museum gift shop. I never make it out of those places without buying the DC something little, it’s their fav part!

Original poster
EmptyTheFrickingBins · 13/04/2026 01:09

Crankyaboutfood · 13/04/2026 00:01

stepson and your son are the same age? is there backstory about you and the father? either you are lovely and she is nuts or you were the other woman and she just doesn’t like you.

My partner isn't my boys' bio dad. ☺️

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 13/04/2026 01:04

That was a kind. thougtful thing for you to do. i would gave done exactly the same thing.

As for the complaints the mother sounds as though she is feeling guilty and up herself

Whe l was a young child we were allowed to buy bits if cheal tat and junlk every week as little treats.

Also his father needs to give him his pocket money on regular basis. Its a real big thing and event for a young
child.

Best Regards
X

Dweetfidilove · 13/04/2026 00:06

Crankyaboutfood · 13/04/2026 00:01

stepson and your son are the same age? is there backstory about you and the father? either you are lovely and she is nuts or you were the other woman and she just doesn’t like you.

You think he may have impregnated both at the same time? Scandalous 😂

SemperIdem · 13/04/2026 00:05

She’s an idiot, obviously

nomas · 13/04/2026 00:03

Why didn’t your partner tell her to wind her neck in? She has no say on what pocket money your DSS gets when he’s at his dad’s.

LaverneBakerImtheonetodoitNSOUL · 13/04/2026 00:01

Damned if you do
Damned if you didn't.

Crankyaboutfood · 13/04/2026 00:01

stepson and your son are the same age? is there backstory about you and the father? either you are lovely and she is nuts or you were the other woman and she just doesn’t like you.

VividPinkTraybake · 12/04/2026 23:56

ModestlyPrudent · 12/04/2026 01:38

@EmptyTheFrickingBins I agree with PP, the mum’s a loon. Ofcourse you don’t leave a child out. Carry-on doing you!

When one par tof the story sounds too strange to believe...