AIBU to feel miffed that SIL refused Easter eggs?!

For those who don’t understand what good manners are, you accept a gift graciously. You then, before the next time, politely inform people to please not buy as kids get more than enough already.

It doesn't sound like they were meeting up just to hand over the eggs, not that this would have made her response more acceptable.

It’s very dismissing but I wonder whether she thinks she’s being polite by saying it’s too much trouble on your part. I would be offended and drop them off anyway!

You support bad manners?

But do you have the same bad manners?

Exactly. I'm genuinely surprised so many think she was perfectly ok to say she didn't want them. The fact it's after Easter and that they've already had some chocolate doesn't make it any less rude.

I am on her side - arranging a handover just for some extra chocolate sounds like too much faff.

She was rude, just as rude as if she’d said it about a Christmas present. You spent time and money on a gift and she dismissed it. I wouldn’t be impressed by her bad manners.

It was really rude.

I agree chocolate can always be kept in the cupboard (or if she’s anything like me she could’ve eaten it herself 😂).

I’m wondering if the real reason is that she couldn’t be bothered with visitors so was using that as an excuse to put you off going over?

as much as it was slightly rude it sounds much better than the alternative!

Unless she told you in advance ‘no Easter eggs please’, then she’s a bit out of order.

I’m a bit torn here.

On the one hand, SIL could have accepted them gracefully and put them aside for later in the year, or asked you in advance to not buy any Easter eggs for her children.

But on the other hand… I’m sympathetic with SIL not wanting them, because we usually end up with an overwhelming amount of Easter chocolate being gifted to the DC and I’ve always been too polite to say anything about it. Maybe I should. But in advance of Easter so people don’t get offended.

But that's not the OPs fault. She had the eggs before easter and the SIL knows this. There's no reason to say you don't want them now easter is over except to be rude. It's not like they have to eat them as soon as they get them, chocolate keeps for months.

I think gifts are always a lot more complicated than they seem on the surface. The gift giver gets a lot of pleasure from the act and it's not only difficult for the recipient to say no, they also have to appear pleased and grateful. In most cases therefore the gift is mainly beneficial for the giver even though that seems counterintuitive. It can also get even more complicated around children as people get huge amounts of pleasure giving gifts to kids ("was excited to see their faces"). I do think parents have earned the right to have the lions share of this pleasure since they do all the hard work too. However parents should also try to be generous about letting other family members also get that pleasure from time to time. On this occasion I think you and your sil could have come up with a compromise that worked for both of you so yes she was a little bit rude but you could also have pushed back with an alternative compromise suggestion.

Do they know it’s a lovely thorntons egg? It could be that they think you just got the regular ones and just said oh don’t worry about it they have loads of eggs…

She should have accepted them and asked you not to buy them next year. We were with family this Easter and I specifically asked them not to buy them any chocolate as they get an egg from us and from our childminder and any more just ends up rotting in the cupboard!

My grandma was put out last year when I thanked her for the kids Easter eggs but said I wouldn’t be giving the one year old her one as she wasn’t eating chocolate at one…but I said I would give it to her when she’s older as chocolate hardly goes off!

Yep SIL is being rude and precious. Can you speak to your sibling who’s married to SIL and ask if you can pop over and drop them off?

I didn’t say she didn’t get them in time this year.
The SIL would have likely accepted the eggs if it was before Easter, I was just clarifying that I am not against giving eggs in future years, but once Easter over I can see why people don’t want more chocolate in the house.

Unicorn eggs?
Surely unicorn foals are born in a similar manner to horses (I understand that the horn, fortunately, grows later)

Pterodactyls eggs would be acceptable but not unicorns.
I may have to write to Thortons about this.

Surprised so many people think this is reasonable. It’s fine to limit your kids chocolate intake but unbelievably rude to refuse and dismiss a gift that someone has already bought. OP spent time and money thinking of these children because she loves them and wants to make them happy and the SIL just dismissed it. The fact it’s chocolate isn’t the point.

I can understand her point, but there's no reason she couldn't have gratefully accepted them and just hidden them in a cupboard for a couple of weeks until the rest of the chocolate is gone!

I must admit my heart sank when MORE chocolate was produced for my kids….so I have sympathy with your SIL.

She got them in time. What part of her post makes you think she didn't? It was the in laws who changed the plan by going away.

It was a bit blunt but sometimes you need to be to get it across. Especially with presents. People are frequently insistent that their god-given right to give a present trumps the recipient's actual wishes.

Have you bought eggs for them before? Maybe you missed a hint that SIL didn't want to get into niece and nephew egg buying so she had to be more direct.

And why are you calling them "DH's nieces"? They are as much your nieces.

Can you keep them in your cupboard and give them when they visit?

Just say they had already had a lot of chocolate for Easter so you kept them for when they'd run out?

Let you SIL know you will do this so she doesn't get shirty.

Your nieces won’t hold it against you. You eat them, if you don’t really want to them, then neither does she.
The moment has passed, get them to them in time next year.