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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want family photo on display?

64 replies

Notsohappyfamily · 11/04/2026 22:13

AIBU or is DH?

Grandparent's (my side) are coming for Sunday lunch tomorrow. For Christmas, they gifted us an (albeit horrific) picture of us taken on their OAP mobile phone last year at a family event. They’ve had it scaled up to about 30cm, had it printed and put in a ‘nice’ frame.

DH hates it, says it creeps him out (we do look a bit startled, blurry and scary)so, ever since we brought it home we didn’t put it on display.

I just said that as they’re coming for lunch tomorrow we should pop it on display. DH says absolutely not, we are being insincere by pretending to like it, only doing it so they don’t huff at the fact it’s not displayed and thinks I’m too much of a people pleaser!

AIBU to think it is just a nice thing to do? They’re in their late 80s, went to a lot of effort to get us a thoughtful gift and it’s just the ‘right’ thing to do to have it on display for a couple of hours?

OP posts:
DreamyJade · 11/04/2026 22:33

I think it would be different if it were from your parents, then you’d be stuck with the charade for decades! But for your grandparents it would mean a lot. They won’t be around forever and no matter how atrocious you think the picture is, in their eyes you will look absolutely beautiful on it!

(Eta: You’ll look beautiful because you’re their precious granddaughter, not because they’re old and have poor eyesight!)

titchy · 11/04/2026 22:30

Bloody hell put the photo up and tell them how lovely a gift it was.

People pleasing because you’re a bit of a wuss is one thing, but doing something which makes elderly, kindly relatives, with not many more years left, feel warm and appreciated is something entirely different. Team photo.

MyLuckyHelper · 11/04/2026 22:28

I’m a crippling people pleaser, I will out myself out hugely in order to facilitate someone else. But this really isn’t that scenario at all, it’s not imposing anything on either of you.

Original poster
Notsohappyfamily · 11/04/2026 22:23

Just to clarify, it’s going up and he has said he “won’t get in the way if that’s what I really think is the right thing to do”.

I was more curious to see how people felt about it and whether I am this awful people pleasing insincere person it’s made me feel. This can be a hot topic of disagreements for us as I often feel like we (people) should do kind things to make others happy which may potentially be at our detriment.

OP posts:
ItsOnlyHobnobs · 11/04/2026 22:23

I’m on your side.

These are your bloody elderly grandparents, who clearly have love to you and you to them! If my husband wanted to make any kind of commentary about my failings as a personality or a statement of ‘free will’ prowess against my elderly grandparents, I’d let him know I was struggling to respect him or his conduct.

Monty27 · 11/04/2026 22:22

Put it behind him so they can see it and he isn't looking at it. Compromise with the brat. If he understands such a thing. I'd be having a word with him about respect.

RightOnTheEdge · 11/04/2026 22:22

How is it hurting your husband to have it up for a couple of hours?

It's a small thing to do to make your grandparents happy.

loggerlikesweet261 · 11/04/2026 22:21

Of course you should put it up.

ModestlyPrudent · 11/04/2026 22:20

2 hours of people pleasing, avoids many hours of upset.

We usually place ornaments or pictures we don’t like but received as gifts on the window sill in the bathroom / Toilet. Displayed but out-of-general site.

MyLuckyHelper · 11/04/2026 22:19

Who cares if it feels insincere, you’ll make two people very happy, at no expense or effort to yourselves. He can have it down again as you wave them off. I can’t believe that argument would even have two sides 🤷🏻‍♀️

TigerDroveAgain · 11/04/2026 22:19

I’m with your DH: just don’t mention it

Notmyreality · 11/04/2026 22:18

Team DH.

Leeds2 · 11/04/2026 22:17

I would put it up too. Without a doubt.

Amammai · 11/04/2026 22:15

I’m with you. It was a thoughtful gift and causes minimal issue to your husband for it to be up for one afternoon. Tell him to get a grip, pop it on the windowsill and ignore him being a brat about it.

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