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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what counts as flirting vs polite chat?

32 replies

Pinkhiker975 · 11/04/2026 17:48

And no I don’t have a backstory that I’m going to later drip feed 😂, I’m just genuinely curious about people’s opinions.

So many couple’s arguments begin with, ‘you were flirting with her/him!’, but what actually counts as flirting for you/your DH? Banter? Jokes? Compliments? Smiling at each other a little too much?

Thanks for any input 🙂

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkhiker975 · 11/04/2026 18:01

Posner · 11/04/2026 17:57

Never experienced it
and never been aware of my friends marriages experiencing this

have you?

Show quote history

No, but I’ve had female friends complaining that their boyfriend has ‘totally flirted’ with another woman in the pub/at a party.

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 11/04/2026 17:58

I would never expect anyone to accuse me of flirting with someone. I know if I fancy them or not and if I don't it's not up for debate. It's not flirting. No matter how others take it.

Untrustworthybottom · 11/04/2026 17:58

Can’t help you there. When single, it was often suggested that I was flirting when I know I definitely wasn’t - I was just being pleasant. If I actually was interested in someone, I would clam up completely.

Posner · 11/04/2026 17:57

Pinkhiker975 · 11/04/2026 17:55

It’s a classic, age-old thing. Friends of mine, people my parents knew when they were young. Lots of arguing when one party thought their DP was ‘flirting’ with someone else.

Show quote history

Never experienced it
and never been aware of my friends marriages experiencing this

have you?

Original poster
Pinkhiker975 · 11/04/2026 17:55

Posner · 11/04/2026 17:51

So many couple’s arguments begin with, ‘you were flirting with her/him!’,

who’s?

It’s a classic, age-old thing. Friends of mine, people my parents knew when they were young. Lots of arguing when one party thought their DP was ‘flirting’ with someone else.

OP posts:
Posner · 11/04/2026 17:51

So many couple’s arguments begin with, ‘you were flirting with her/him!’,

who’s?

Everlil · 11/04/2026 17:50

It all depends on how secure you are in your relationship and how much you trust each other.