Would you forgive a mother-in-law after upsetting behaviour with your newborn?

Seriously!???

Hurting baby is not on. But with regards to the rest. Did your family get told immediately did they get to see /kiss baby. Just imagine your little one grown up and becoming a parent your not told baby is here. you can't visit and you can't kiss how would you feel?

That is unhinged. I would not let her near my baby

Yes, just the type of joke I’d make as ai held my newborn grandchild for the first time

Obviously both you and your husband are massively under- reacting.

How on earth can you allow contact with someone who has threatened to hurt a newborn baby for being too quiet?

Do you have health visitors ? That might be the most straightforward route to report this extremely worrying behaviour.

I would absolutely be telling the wider family that she said she wanted to hurt the baby.

obviously she was desperate to see her grandchild , I’m sure saying about hurting them was just a joke

I always smile when i see a suggestion to wave a mumsnet thread in front of a DH as if they’ll actually read and have some kind of epiphany!

As if he’d even read in the first place. And if the man hasn’t said or done anything already despite what happened at the wedding and since then; despite his wife very update - then a mumsnet thread isn’t going to do a thing!

that's a very naive POV

And the behaviours at OP'S wedding???

Show your DH this thread OP.

Your MIL is deranged and your children need to be kept totally away from her influences.
If his family don't accept that then they need to be cut out of your lives too.

There's always someone that will try and excuse completely unacceptable behaviour when posters have an issue with their parents or in-laws. If you read OP's other posts, her MIL is obviously a narcissist who can't bear not to be the centre of attention and to get her own way. How on earth do you interpret this as a joke:

'Our last straw was when she was holding our baby and said she wants to hurt them to make them cry because they don't do anything they just lie there and do nothing.'

Nobody normal would say that to the parents of a brand new baby. People say stuff to babies like 'you're so gorgeous, I'd like to eat you up', which is obviously a joke. Actually saying that you wish to hurt a baby to stop them just lying there being boring is pretty psychotic and due to her previous batshit behaviour at OP's wedding, OP knows that it wasn't a joke.

OP's and her DH's lives will be infinitely better without her MIL in it.

I see you've already threatened to flounce off the thread. I think it's for the best.

She wants to hurt them !!!

No, that would be the last time the weird witch came into my home or went within a country mile of my child.

Your primary job as a mum is to protect your baby. Your MIL's frankly sick behaviour is not your problem. Keep the door locked and make it clear that she is not welcome.

And if your dp doesn't support you in that, take your baby and leave.

What the fuck is wrong with people???

Lock the doors, ignore if she turns up, dont answer calls. Go no contact until she apologises
Enjoy yr baby

You obviously aren't being too sensitve or unreasonable. Your MIL sounds like a narcissist and if an important event or occasion isn't all about her, she will try and take over or sabotage it. She can't be trusted to be around your baby and your husband won't be able to sort this out because his mum will never change.

The whole family sounds utterly toxic and you need to make it clear to your husband that him trying to sort this out shouldn't include throwing you under a bus to please his mum and the rest of his awful family. His sister is just a carbon copy of his dreadful mother.

Never going to happen. Not until @Bubblebabynewmum and her DH develop half a spine between the pair of them.

Wtf, I would cut ties for a while until she sees some sense (if at all).

Christ on a bike. If you are not all involved in a family business, move away. Sounds so toxic. Congratulations on your little one X

I’m sure she was joking. No grandmother would seriously say that. She should remember that you are hormonal and very sensitive

I mean she is clearly completely narcissistic. I absolutely think NC indefinitely is completely fine.

This is incredibly bizarre. Id take a massive step back, no first dance and cutting your wedding cake?! Wow. You could also both work on your assertiveness.

This.
For God’s sake if you won’t grow a back bone and stick up for yourselves at least advocate for your newborn who only has you to stick up for it. Do not leave this narcissistic unhinged woman with violent thoughts alone with your child, she sounds extremely volatile and will likely create a crisis so the attention is on her. You will probably be tempted to let her look after the child to get a break, but I would personally not allow her alone in a room with him or her.

Sorry, my sarcasm was too subtle. But she was generally ok... As I said if my DM had done the same we'd have been no contact

@Bubblebabynewmum
She's got no right to be so grabby, pushy and wanting to "hurt" your baby so possibly she's mentally unstable
Don't let her near him
If she's a doorkey get it back
No excuses no forgiveness
She doesn't sound "right "
Seeing trump in a dress......

I know I can take things to heart sometimes and just wanted other opinions to see if I was being over sensitive or if anyone any other point of view before I made any further decisions.

@Bubblebabynewmum you are definitely not being over-sensitive - it's not just me, virtually every poster on here is telling you the same thing.
You would be justified in telling your husband you want nothing more to do with her and you won't allow the baby anywhere near her.

She sounds unhinged. I absolutely wouldn't be anywhere near her for the foreseeable future (ideally ever). Enjoy your lovely baby. It sounds like you've been through a really difficult time & you deserve, and need, peace and time to recover & build some bonds just the three of you.
As for nut job MIL I'd just leave her to stew. Your husband can relay that you need time just the three of you & that her behaviour & comments were appalling. Hopefully she'll bugger off once she realises this is your baby & she doesn't get to dictate.