How to reduce risk to my DC?

Fabulous.

now read the post to which I was responding

Around us very common for children age 9.

It is insane you’re allowing your 9 year old to play out unsupervised by you then.

OP - you are very very far from being over protective. I’d say you are being under protective

Then she doesn't get to play out. Have you had that conversation with her?

Use NSPC underpants resources to teach them about inappropriate touch. Keep open communication with them, asking what they did, how they felt etc in a gentle curious way rather than interrogation. Let them know you're always available to talk and they should let you know if they feel uncomfortable. Watch out for signs of grooming, any adults particularly interested in getting the children in their care, showing extra interest in them, watch how your child reacts to them.

Mine played out the front (quiet cul de sac) with other kids where I could see them and keep an eye on them. Age 9/10 they were allowed to go to a nearby park, not crossing any roads. Realistically, unless your children are never out of your sight, you can't eliminate all risks - instead you need to have open communication about safety and trusted adults. For example, if they are invited into a friend's garden or house, they have to come and ask you first. They should know that they should never go anywhere with even a trusted adult without asking you first. Does your child never go to tea at a friend's house? I think that's a pretty normal thing to allow, but only with friends where you know the parents well.

First thing I would do is ring social services -101 can put you through -and report this poor 3 year old in the streets unsupervised. This is horrifying.

with your own children I would stick to the rule you’re comfortable with, that they can play outside but not inside. If they can’t stick to the rules then they can’t go out.
mine are 9, 6 and 2. The 9and 6 year olds are allowed to play outside on the green or in specific front gardens only. No going inside. A few other parents on the road have similar rules.

The best way to keep children safe is to encourage open and honest communication, avoid secrets of any kind, and a range of positive adult relationships so they have a range of trusted people who can raise issues with.

Asking them to stay out of neighbours houses when that’s the norm with their friends is a big ask of them. Then you inadvertently create a situation where they feel they need to lie to you. Then it’s harder for them to mention anything that was uncomfortable because they know they’ll get in trouble for having been there.

Some realistic ground rules and open dialogue is likely to work better. Eg. Yes can go in, only if invited, only with the children that live there, only if you’ve told me (but build a reputation for saying yes rather than no’.

Teach good tactics for leaving somewhere when they want. My mum said I have to be back. I feel sick. Etc.

You can’t rely on other parents enforcing your rules.

they will invite the kids in especially if it is cold.

i grew up in an environment like this and there was a whole group of us floating around various gardens and houses.

you also cannot rely on a 6 year old to not go in especially if one of the parents is baking or similar with them,

the only way is for you to physically be with both of them pretty much all the time.

Well there we go then.

Your 9 year old can’t be trusted to keep to your rules. She is too young to advocate for herself. So she should not be let out of her own. No brainer

I think you go and speak to the parents and make sure they are OK about it and time limit it to say 90 mins and if your child isn't back you go and get them. I think ot's far less likely a child will be abused if a potential offender knows the parent is caring and engaged. You find a bit out about the parents, invite them for coffee, see if you feel you can trust them. Book your dc into activotoes to broaden their experiences and give you a reason for collecting them. They have a club at 3, etc.

I wouldn’t even let a 9 year old out on their own.

Ok first priority needs to be address the fact that there is a 3 year old wondering around peoples gardens / homes on their own.

I would be dropping SS a call

Another here who would be involving the social services re the 3 yo. 3 is far too young to be wandering alone - she is desperately vulnerable to harm.

They might nok remember which children have which rules. The child needs to folliw her own rules.

Agreed.
it's alarming behaviour....I would report them. Dread to think what other shitty judgement they are displaying.

Re: op's situation.
You need to head it off upstream. i just wouldnt let my children "play out" on the street like this.
My children would know the boundary is my garden - kids can join them but they are not to step out of the garden and if they do there are consequences.

This would include for a 9 yo 24 hour media black outs (meaning she reads or play in room while others watch cartoons) no desserts or Losing Social Opportunities (ie she must stay with you while others play in garden)

Well if you want to enforce any rule you need consequences for it not being followed. The logical consequence of her not following the rules you’ve set for her playing out is that she doesn’t play out for a set period of time.

Then you keep her home.

Tell her to return home if invited or not let her go out unsupervised

It’s difficult because yes the parents should follow your rules for your child. But they probably feel a bit bad if a group all come in and want to do baking, and they send yours away. That’s not me disagreeing with you, just thinking about if my DC came in with a group of friends and I sent one away.

It's normal to invite childrens' friends that age inside around here so your daughter needs to learn to say no thank you.

I would do it everytime she was in my garden and I would consider informing social service.