To Think That DD School Are Covering Up Teacher’s Unprofessional Behavior

That's a good point. It's one thing to lose faith in a teacher who your child sees for one lesson a week. Quite another to lose faith in the leadership of the school. The latter has trickle down effects on everyone who works and learns there.

Confidentiality is massive. A headteacher who can't see that or act on it professionally, is not an effective or competent leader.
My HT wasn't perfect, but she'd have been on that teacher like a ton of bricks, for a variety of reasons.

I'm confused. This is your child's teacher and your child is doing really well and is very happy? But you think the teacher is spiteful - couldn't possibly have been smiling professionally, just pure spite.

She's breached GDPR even though she didn't share any data with you.

You were standing on your own, the teacher marched up to you and, deliberately and vindictively, spoke so loudly that everyone in a busy, noisy playground heard.

She said she knew your child has ADHD because she knows other people with ADHD and by implication that makes her an expert.

What confuses me is that for all this to be the case, the teacher would have to be a total nob and total nob teachers don't generally get the unequivocal backing of senior leadership (because they will have received a trail of previous complaints).

Somehow, the actual issue seems to have got lost here. As a parent, do you think your child has ADHD? Have you ever suspected? Could be that this is the experienced Y6 transition teacher who ensures kiddo gets a good start at secondary ... Or you could waste your time hammering on about a non-existent GDPR breach.

Disgraceful response from the headteacher

Wanted to add, that I would be more cross with the Head’s response , than with the teacher. An individual teacher can bea dick(and dealt with appropriately), have a bad day, a lapse in judgment etc. However , the Head’s response and attitude suggest that there’s an ethos/culture problem and that things are rotten from the top.

Read the complaints procedure and follow what it says is the next step if you are unsatisfied with the head teachers response. This is usually escalated to the chair of governors You may need to reword your complaint to make it clear that it occurred on school premises and the exact words said. Be very factual rather than emotional impact.
From my perspective, the same sort of thing happened to me when my ds was year 3. His class teacher stood in front of me and stated that ds 'was definitely autistic because he chewed pencils' I ended up having to attend a 'restorative conversation' with the teacher and head teacher as the complaint was upheld.the teacher had crossed professional boundaries and not used the correct terminology (this was 15 + years ago so I'm talking about a time when a child should have been on school action + before that sort of conversation)
Think about what you want the outcome to be. Are you seeking an apology or something else?

@fiolasviola yeah that’s totally fair enough actually. Not the time for self reflection. But I would urge the OP to consider what outcome she wants from a complaint before proceeding down that stressful route, and whether a constructive conversation could be better.

@MrsJLL This.
No teacher can diagnose ADHD and her behaviour was 100% unprofessional on several fronts.
I suggest you write to the Chair of Governors saying that the headteacher has declined to investigate yout complaint so you are now escalating to the governing body.
It will have to be addressed via that route.

@MrsJLL Since when did a teacher, let alone a music teacher who sees your daughter for 2 hours per week max becomes an expert on ADHD? She can say that you're daughter is disruptive in class but she can not diagnose. It's utterly ridiculous!

So there is two complaints that I would make @MrsJLL to the governors:

1. She is not in capacity of diagnosing your child.

1. She purposedely did this within earshot of other mums on the school ground. She's not supposed to bring up anything problematic at all within earshot of other parents.

She's a cow for taking "revenge" on your daughter by humiliating you.
Don't let her get away with it!

How absolutely dreadful! I'm a teacher and we have a watertight policy on neurodiversity (parents have to be emailed first to recommend our SENDCO observes their child in class before anything else then its a meeting to discuss if SENDCO is concerned) but also what kind of teacher blurts that out with no concern at dismissal. Mind boggling that the head backed teacher up too...I would request a meeting with head and teacher....

Your thread has brought back a few memories for me. A similar (but not quite so bad) thing happened 20 years ago to me when my 4 year old had just started reception at the local school. At the end of the school day, the class teacher asked me to come into the classroom and suggested that I needed to take my son to the GP as she believed that his behaviour was not normal for a child of his age. She was hinting that he could be on the autistic spectrum.

My feeling was that if you are going to raise serious concerns about a child, teachers should set up a formal meeting in which parents have been forewarned that there are issues to address. Having such devastating information sprung on me without warning at school pick up was far too casual.

We did complain to the head and the Governors at the time. They duly investigated it and found that the teacher could have dealt with the situation far better. I think that my motivation to follow the complaints procedure was to try and make sure that the teacher would not go on to treat others in the same way.

Ironically, in our case, my DS's reception teacher was right in suspecting that my son was neurodiverse. He struggled with secondary school and university and has been diagnosed with ADD as an adult. However, I still stand by my belief that teachers need to be mindful of the way they deal with parents in such sensitive matters.

To get back to your situation OP, it is appalling the teacher blurted out that your DD may have ADHD in the earshot of other parents. I wish you all the best in your efforts to get the school to acknowledge that the teacher needs further training to prevent such a situation happening again.

No this isn’t some opportunity for the OP to reflect on her innermost feelings.

There’s a time and a place for introspection and it certainly isn’t in the immediate aftermath of being put in an intrusive and inappropriate situation like this, where professional boundaries were disregarded and a sensitive comment was made publicly.

What the teacher did and the harm it is likely to cause are the real issue. It breached basic professional boundaries, risked reputational harm and gossip, and undermined trust between the school and parent.

Remarks like that can create stigma and damage a child’s reputation.

and this when OP no already have to deal with a potentially life changing situation.

Agree Many who have commented are working in schools.
I usually err on the side of caution and try and give another pov but this case is just appallingly bad professionalism and the head should have apologised and said she would speak to the teacher.

That teacher handled sharing that information with you badly and in a way that meant others became privy to private medical concerns relating to a child in their care, and likely identifiable to the people who overheard a discussion about them. The headteachers response is a cop out. If you have any further concerns about how the GDPR element is being handled, you can contact the ICO directly for advice. There is a time and place for such discussions and being conducted in a way that removes disclosure consent and causes distress/distrust is probably not it.

Ironically, most people emphasising how bad it is , do have jobs . Not just that, but they are teacher/former teachers/school staff. You know why? Because it actually is that bad , completely unprofessional and unacceptable.

It won’t kill the teacher to get a telling off (verbal/written warning) and get told that children are in fact entitled to their privacy and to follow policy if they have any actual concerns about a child. That’s just basic stuff.

Most people agree that the teacher’s conduct was unprofessional. I do too (am a teacher). But I’d ask, OP, what you actually want to achieve? What is the purpose of your complaint - your ideal outcome? If it’s a sanction for the teacher, that seems like simple vengeance. If it’s genuine reflection from the teacher and school, and assurance that her/their approach will change, then a meeting with the teacher and the head would be much more productive. It may also give space for any concerns about your dd to be aired in a less clumsy way.

I would also examine why you were so upset by the comments. Has the teacher (in an inappropriate way) hit on a nerve re your dd? Your tears suggest she might. Why did you feel you had to counteract the teacher’s concerns with the fact that your dd is sporty, bright etc? It seems that you are upset by the idea that your daughter could have ADHD, as though a child with ADHD would not be bright, doing well etc. Although she’s gone about it in the wrong way, could this teacher’s concerns actually be something useful for you to look at? I speak from experience and wish I’d cottoned on to my own DC’s neurodiversity much earlier. We’re now stuck on an endless waiting list and they’ve almost left school.

Why would she be sacked? The tecaher needs training and OP needs an unreserved apology from the school, one where they show her that they have her child's best interest in mind.

I was chair of governors for many years. We would have taken this seriously.

Speak to the governors and base your complaint on unprofessional behaviour.

We’d be in huge trouble if we were found to have this kind of conversation outside school. I was just thinking some schools may be a bit lax if it was off school site.
Our council have an expectations policy (I can’t remember the right word- peri meno brain!) and even our public social media posts and public behaviour is expected to be respectful as an ambassador of the council. Ie I shouldn’t be getting drunk on a Saturday night swinging my knickers above my head and brawling in the bar in the town I work in!! So there are definitely professional conversation standards for us.

@MrsJLL I’m really sorry this has happened. It’s a very upsetting situation, and the school’s response does seem weak.

GDPR:
If the school has not recorded anywhere (either internally or in communication with you) that they believe your child may have ADHD, then GDPR may not be the strongest angle to pursue.

Professional conduct standards:
In my view, these have clearly been breached. Teachers are expected not only to educate and support pupils, but also to maintain confidentiality and communicate appropriately with parents. Publicly making a statement like this, within earshot of others, appears to fall short of those expectations.

Safeguarding:
I understand the school may have dismissed this aspect, but I would not let that go. There is a potential risk of harm arising from what happened. Other parents may now believe your daughter has ADHD and could share that with their children. In the worst case, this could lead to negative assumptions, social exclusion, or your daughter being unfairly blamed for behaviour issues.

In addition, the way this was handled, raising something so significant in a public setting, then leaving without any proper discussion or support, is deeply concerning and understandably distressing.

I think you should strongly complain to the Governors, or even Ofsted if you get nowhere with the governors.

You could also talk to the ICO complaints and use a two-pronged approach.

There should be some consequence of the teacher's actions.

I’m a teacher and think this is nonsense. The teacher works for the school, the comment she made was about a pupil directly to a parent on school premises. Of course it’s massively unprofessional and insensitive.

At the crux is a teacher who has made a family's life unnecessarily awful. Delivering news that your dc may have a disability and in earshot of her friends and their parents. The gossip will be rife and even if OP's dd does not have adhd, kids and parents will always gossip and speculate.

What a shock this must have been OP and it was absolute inappropriate to be bellowing this so that others heard it too. Unfortunately this is a huge breach of trust and professional standards form the teacher and also the school. Do you have the option to take her to a different school?

There are some crap human beings around. I'm angry for you.

Is she a peripatetic music teacher or a member of staff in the school?

She was on school grounds, still working, shared her opinion using your child's private information. She behaved in a very unprofessional manner and broke with the code of conduct, which contract and substitute teachers as well as all school system employees are required to follow.

Even out in public, a school employee is required to follow this code. These things are standard in the US (retired educator) and I believe the UK has very strict rules about them as well. I think the head is wrong and that the teacher was still representing the school, personal opinion or not.

The teacher AND the head need retraining on this subject and you have every right to expect professional conduct from them. You obviously have your child's back, and I hope you'll continue to follow this up.