If DH dies before me I wouldn’t care if I never saw the extended family again

I would say most people are the same. I get along with DH's family alright but don't imagine i'd keep in touch with them if DH wasn't here.

Up until a year ago, I would have said that I would keep in touch with his family but after he had a serious health issue last year, his sister and his daughter treated me like absolute shit and totally disrespected my role as his wife, which truly shocked me as I didn't expect it due to our relationship up until then, so while he's still around I'll just about tolerate them but if he does go before me I will have nothing to do with them.

His mum died 2 years ago and she's the only one I had any time for.

Normal, i don’t even speak to dhs family to be fair neither does he.

I'm 70!

😅

ETA that I was 56 when he died

If dc were younger I’d probably see them as they are their aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins. But once dc were adults probably not other than weddings and funerals!

After anything happens to DM I doubt I'll see any of my own extended family again so YANBU.

They treated me like family as a young child but stopped bothering as soon as I was old enough to be left at home by DM (I was the child of an affair).

.. if he died, would I cut contact with the handful of people who’d feel as much grief as I would? With my children’s grandparents and uncle and cousins? Erm…no.

Exactly @Midnights68

@Bleachedjeans am i understanding you correctly that you met and married in your 60s? So no shared children? That might make a difference.

My PIL and SIL are the only people around who’ve known my lovely DH since he was a baby - they know him even better than I do. His parents are grandparents to my children. SIL is their aunt, my nephew is their only cousin. Even if I personally don’t have that much in common with them, they are part of my children’s close family and for that reason alone I would keep in touch. And DH would be so betrayed and upset to think I’d just bin off his family because he isn’t around (I know he wouldn’t know but YKWIM).

I can quite honestly say if I wasn’t with my DH for whatever reason I’d not see that side of the family, not because they’re horrible but I don’t tend to see them now despite having fairly young children so I’d doubt they’d put extra effort in to see them if DH wasn’t around.
I don’t/wouldn’t miss them as they don’t feature in our lives much at all. DH speaks to his Mum daily on the phone but I think I probably see her twice a year despite only living 20 mins drive away.

My in-laws aren’t people I would choose for friends if I wasn’t married to their son/brother. But if he died, would I cut contact with the handful of people who’d feel as much grief as I would? With my children’s grandparents and uncle and cousins? Erm…no.

A bit of a mix for me - DH’s step family, absolutely, would wish to have little to do with them, bunch of witches ! My sister in law (married to DH’s brother) is one of my best friends so we’d definitely stay in touch

I would definitely want to stay in touch with my in-laws and would do everything I could to keep their relationships with my kids going for all the reasons saraclara has written about.
I’d want to talk about him with people who loved him.
I’d hope they’d want to stay in touch!

I am actually not sure how much contact I will have with my siblings after both our parents are gone either.
I think families naturally drift apart with time, especially once there is no longer a "family home" to meet at. I love my siblings and when we do see each other we get on very well, but we all live in different parts of the country and used to congregate at Mum and Dad's house. But since our parents died we rarely see each other and certainly not all together. Nothing bad has happened and nobody has fallen out with anyone, but the loss of that common "home" plus changes in our own lives mean that siblings have slipped down the priority list. We all have children and grandchildren now so our siblings who were once our nuclear family are now very much extended family, and cousins etc have dropped off the radar almost entirely. I guess when the norm was that families all stayed in one place for most of their lives and siblings remained physically very close to each other it was more likely that family bonds stayed strong. But that's much less common now. I have family members scattered all over the country and don't see most of them regularly. I have not even met all my nephews' and nieces' children. It's not that we dislike each other, but life changes.

My DH's family are awesome

If he died, I'd be v keen to stay in touch

If anything, I expect I'd see them a bit more often as my DH doesn't make much effort

Me neither. I don't actively dislike most of them, but I chose DH, not them.

I am actually not sure how much contact I will have with my siblings after both our parents are gone either. We have so little in common.

I have no siblings, and DH’s siblings live in another part of the UK. We used to visit regularly, or organise the odd holiday where some of us would get together. We are the oldest in the family. I’m quite close to his brother’s wife, we get on very well. His sisters too, although they are naturally closer to each other.

I liked my ma in law, and I love DDIL. She is the mother of some of my lovely DGC. This probably makes me strange on MN, but my family is not just about blood relatives.

I'm naturally quite cold emotionally and not sentimental except towards my own kids, I have no other family.
Some of h's closest family are toxic and we are nc it's so freeing as he hates them.
In laws are dead and I don't have much to do with his grown up kids or gc, it has always been distant on both sides. Nice to see them but I'm not interested in contact although h does obviously. H knows that if he dies first the contact will end.
It doesn't bother me in the least.

Not sure, I don’t see exh’s family much as moved away but they send Christmas cards. Dh’s family I’m not that close to geographically or due to meeting older but I’m sure at least at first they would rally to support me, whether we stay in touch would be probably down to how old I was by then and other circumstances

I wouldn’t see my husbands family and I’ve been with my husband for over 40 years. They aren’t my family and I don’t particularly like them. My MIL has always sung my praises and compliments me whenever I see her so we are polite and friendly but it wouldn’t bother me if I never saw any of them again. There are a few that are not nice to my husband.
My husband does his family and I do mine. I like it like that and so does he. It’s not an issue for us at all.

My FIL and MIL were fabulous, and I would have happily stayed in touch/cared for them, but they are both gone now. Otherwise, nope wouldn't bother. I have thought this through rationally as due to health issues DH is very likely to predecease me.

His parents died after we split

My DH family aren't keen on me, think because im 18 years younger, we've been together nearly 18 years. His children tolerate me but thats it. My exh (who I have no relationship with) his parents left me substantially well off in their wills, I got on with them and if they were alive im sure I would of sent cards and kept them updated

I wouldn’t bother to see any of them. They’re all nnice enough and I wish them all well but I’m not interested in them at all.