I am a terrible wife!!!

Right! My DH fancies my best mate. Everyone does, she's gorgeous. He's got a few tasty mates himself. We all manage to survive without resorting to Chat GPT and mumsnet hysterics.

"Shocking thoughts" like finding a man attractive? 🙄 I might have been perimenopausal since the age of 15 then.

It sounds like you have a crush and the good news is, it will pass. In the meantime though, delete your chat GPT conversation and obviously don’t do anything about your crush. But no need to confess anything. in fact, I thing you’d do more harm than good doing so.

🤯 Jeez you’ll put yourself into an early grave worrying about non- stuff like this 😵‍💫
Give your head a wobble, delete your search history and move on.
Maybe ask Chatty G how to stop being an over thinker 🥴

You're allowed to have your own secret thoughts.
Please don't tell them and upset them and mess with their heads. You've done nothing.

So you have a crush and wrote to ChatGPT?

…Aren’t you embarrassed admitting to this?

Nothing happened. Who knows what your DH fantasises about when you're having sex - I'm sure if he had any sense he wouldn't feel the need to tell you everything!

I’m wondering if you are lacking something in your relationship, that you see your friend has with her husband? And that is the route of your feelings.

You need to dig deep, overcome your mortification and find your sense of humour.

Tell yourself how silly you are to have a crush, but it’s totally normal. Tell yourself you are proud that you’re not the sort of person who would act on those feelings. You are self reflecting, moral and strong.

You will use this passing fancy to think about what is missing from your life right now, without considering your friends DH as a viable option. He’s just a symbol of there being something not quite right in your life.

My aunt used to call it 'lady's fingers' (in French)...

That's how I read it, but I did have several glasses of white wine at lunch.

ummm I know that this is an MN standard but could it be perimenopause? I had some really shocking thoughts and dreams during it. Never acted on any of them but it felt really real.

Indulging a bit of fantasy in a long marriage or having a crush isn’t a crime. You are being way too hard on yourself and have checked it before it got out of hand and are self aware to realise there is a slippery
slope and have stopped yourself before
you got anywhere nr that

Um girl normal behaviour, I look at men in the supermarket and catch myself thinking I would. You're human, news flash.

Don’t tell him. That would hurt him and cause problems for a long time for no reason as you haven’t done anything. If you have a close and trusted friend I’d talk to them. If not a counsellor or something if you need to offload

You don't need to come clean at all, most people fancy other people at some point, its normal. However if the sexes were swapped im sure most of the posters on here would be calling the OP all the cunts under the sun.

It is Normal to be attracted to people. You didn’t act on them or encourage another. In fact by thinking it’s abnormal you may be inclined to think about it more.

Read Gottmans ‘seven principles fo making marriage work’ and Gottmans ‘Eight Dates’ books. Instead of giving him this burden to make yourself feel a bit better, read the books, learn the skills, share them with him and become an amazing wife that you are proud of. The books are the best relationship books I have read. With some fun exercises to do.

My DH and I have the same agreement but with Jensen Ackles and Kylie Minogue 😂

You seem to be someone very harsh with herself, and with not much of life experience.
How old are you, if you don’t mind saying? And what was your childhood like?

There is literally nothing to tell him. You haven't done anything wrong other than have some tasty thoughts about another person.

Don't we all do that? I know I have had some less than pure thoughts about other men during my marriage, but as long as that is where it stays, in your head, and you don't share these or act on them then no harm done.

We are all human after all and it's perfectly normal to feel sexual attraction to other people.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Nothing happened except you felt sexy in someone's company. Channel those lovely feelings into your marriage.
No harm done.

You’ve got/had a crush on someone.
nothings happened, nothing to tell.
I bet if you asked your husband, he’d have a crush on someone too!

You haven't done anything or made a move on him or anything. You're fine. You're completely normal. Take some time for yourself to breathe and assuming that you are relatively happy in your marriage, bring your focus back where you want it to be. You got tired and lost focus on your normal life goals. Completely normal. You could take some time to sit with your feelings also and see what comes to the surface, in case there is some unhappiness about something behind what happened. Or you could just carry on also after a breather. You're grand

Unless you’re about to drip feed that you did in fact cheat on your husband, do not, DO NOT, say anything to him. He’ll be hurt, even though nothing happened so please don’t cause unnecessary and unkind drama in his life, let alone yours.

Come clean about what? You haven't done anything.

Your brain is telling you that you have an unmet need though that you could talk to your husband about.

Fuck me.

You need to join a drama club OP.