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AIBU?

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Original poster

10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

806 replies

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 10/04/2026 23:18

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 11/04/2026 18:07

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 14:31

Whaaaaat so ms rachel whilst I cook is a huge no but if I sat with dd and looked at pictures on my phone its fine? Youre all at it now. Xx

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Just ignore it, it gets pathetic.

Half of them probably have theirs sitting all day with earphones in watching some cartoon while they scroll their SM - and that's the ones who even have children, which it seems some of the critics don't.

Children need plenty of quality input, but there are also times when parents need to go to the loo, cook dinner, field a phone call, have a cup of tea etc and this is a perfectly appropriate time to employ some other assistance to keep them safe in the form of screen or play pen.

Posner · 11/04/2026 17:59

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:32

I didn't use the word fat. Again, yet another one who is unable to comprehend.

Yes you did
Deleted now

Misspotterscat · 11/04/2026 17:46

Independent play is essential for baby to develop problem solving skills in the future. As is an older child being bored. This is why we have a nation of children who struggle to cope with any inconvenience and need so much hand holding.
when my child started at childcare, a task I was given was to encourage independent play as the carer couldn’t see to each individual child at the same time in some instances. We worked hard on it. And sometimes that meant me sitting and relaxing for a short period when they played by themself (as a 10 month old).

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:44

@Posner Yet you followed me on another thread I posted on. Thought you didn't want to engage?

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:32

I didn't use the word fat. Again, yet another one who is unable to comprehend.

Posner · 11/04/2026 17:22

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:13

Clearly as you took the time to kick somebody when they're down.

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You’re the one that called lots of posters fat thick bitches aren’t you? Ah ok. Not someone I think I’ll engage with

BudgetBuster · 11/04/2026 17:17

Luckyingame · 11/04/2026 15:51

He works and keeps three people warm, housed and clothed.
So he does get to have an opinion.
Big time.

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The OP ordinarily works... he does zero parenting outside of work but spends his days criticising her. So no, his opinion doesn't matter.

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:13

Posner · 11/04/2026 16:45

Lovely one thanks. No tension or arguing with my husband.

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Clearly as you took the time to kick somebody when they're down.

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 17:11

EndlessTreadmill · 11/04/2026 12:32

Personally I think it sounds incredibly lazy, but it's not the playpen part only, it's the TV part. Never in my life have I sat around watching TV during the daytime, there is always so much to do - TV is an evening relaxation or treat for me.

The idea that husband is working, and wife lolling around watching TV, not for 5 mins but for up to an hour, to me is quite shocking. I have also had 3 under 5.
I am very surprised that she plays on her own for that long, in my experience it was only a few minutes. But also, surprised that you manage to do all the tidying and cleaning in the house, look after your child as well as you can, do any shopping and errands, etc etc - and still have time to watch an hour of TV.

Are you the husband?

Caplin · 11/04/2026 17:08

Biscuit94 · 11/04/2026 15:18

Again congrats to you and your children. I am willing to bet they are now 15+ as the advice you're giving is outdated.

Not "letting babies fuss" certainly doesn't damage them emotionally or lead to long term sleep problems and the pick up put down method often just overstimulates and exhausts them, especially if they're breastfed.

Ultimately though if you think it worked and your children are thriving that's the important thing. I wouldn't really give that advice these days though...

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Also, PU PD method is only meant to be used up to 6 months because it is overstimulating after that…if you actually bothered to read it.

Caplin · 11/04/2026 17:06

Biscuit94 · 11/04/2026 15:18

Again congrats to you and your children. I am willing to bet they are now 15+ as the advice you're giving is outdated.

Not "letting babies fuss" certainly doesn't damage them emotionally or lead to long term sleep problems and the pick up put down method often just overstimulates and exhausts them, especially if they're breastfed.

Ultimately though if you think it worked and your children are thriving that's the important thing. I wouldn't really give that advice these days though...

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Who burned your biscuits? I don’t care if it is outdated, it worked, it suited me, my kids learned to go to sleep and didn’t cry it out. The point I was making was that there is nothing wrong with kids learning to self soothe and that doesn’t mean crying it out. Pick another method, that was just one I used. I’m not sure if you are for or against letting kids cry it out, but you seem bitter. Anyway, in ten years someone will tell you that your parenting methods are outdated, so enjoy this brief moment of being right.

For everyone else, do what works for you, don’t sweat the small stuff, do what you have to do to survive and keep your kids loved and fed, everything else will figure itself out. If that means you drink a coffee and watch TV for a bit, that is fine.

Cherrytree86 · 11/04/2026 16:59

EndlessTreadmill · 11/04/2026 16:48

Yes because mine are in their teens now so I have a lot more free time! Didn’t happen when they were 10 months old, or a long time after that, I can tell you!

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@EndlessTreadmill

did you ever go to the gym?

EndlessTreadmill · 11/04/2026 16:57

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 12:34

I dont do all the cleaning and tidying as I am not employed as a housemaid. I do what I can but my maternity leave hasnt been filled with keeping the house spotless and in order 24/7. Thats a split job.

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Agree, and mine wasn’t either. I am not a 1950s housewife and my husband pulls his weight. But I wasn’t watching tv for an hour in the morning. Honestly when our kids were little if he had been doing that so early in the day (so not like having a break after a tiring day), I would have thought he was a bit lazy. It’s not about creating housework, I just find there is always something that needs doing

EndlessTreadmill · 11/04/2026 16:48

LittleBearPad · 11/04/2026 12:35

Yet you have time for MN

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Yes because mine are in their teens now so I have a lot more free time! Didn’t happen when they were 10 months old, or a long time after that, I can tell you!

Posner · 11/04/2026 16:45

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 16:23

Slow Saturday?
Nothing else better to do?
That's okay, you are most welcome here xx

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Lovely one thanks. No tension or arguing with my husband.

GalaxyStarsMoon · 11/04/2026 16:44

How are things going to change when you go back to work? Will you be doing everything you’re doing now and working? Including all the night wake ups and the cooking? Because often the issue is the Mum goes back to work and still does it all. And the man’s life doesn’t change one iota.

Solenoidal · 11/04/2026 16:32

OP I wouldn’t be surprised if this just boils down to your husband being ‘jealous’ of you not working at the moment and being resentful and taking it out on you.

Solenoidal · 11/04/2026 16:28

OP I would love you to leave the house for the day and let your husband look after the baby alone. He is sanctimonious and critical and I would be irritated as hell by his preaching.

StrangerTwings · 11/04/2026 16:26

I think it's more than fine and actually good for her development to be able to entertain herself and be content without external stimulation, be that from a person or a screen.

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 16:25

Posner · 11/04/2026 16:20

Really?

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Yes really. Again, try reading the thread.

Imtornanddontknowwhattodo · 11/04/2026 16:23

If the cap fits ha! You posted a perfectly reasonable and polite situation.

I'm 53 and was plonked in front of the TV when my sahm mother was cooking, cleaning or just needed a break. Way before "gentle" and "perfect" parenting. I did just fine!

As the world's quietest, shyest and biggest people pleaser, now I'm completely fine calling out unkind behaviour of horrid insecure people who are clearly projecting. Fair enough to politely disagree, but life is tough. Yet some get a kick out of being horrible.

Original poster
ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 16:23

Posner · 11/04/2026 16:22

Oh

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Slow Saturday?
Nothing else better to do?
That's okay, you are most welcome here xx

OP posts:
Posner · 11/04/2026 16:22

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 16:21

Omg... yeah, like, really.

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Oh

Original poster
ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 16:21

Posner · 11/04/2026 16:20

Really?

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Omg... yeah, like, really.

OP posts:
Posner · 11/04/2026 16:20

ILoveFatFaceSocks · 11/04/2026 16:17

Thick horrible bitches did make me laugh 😂

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Really?

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