10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

Again you've neglected to mention why you put down other parenting styles when you said all those kids who coslept etc. are all apparently emotionally disregulated unlike your thriving children...

That's what annoyed me. You are being the sanctimonious mum you claim not to be by making such untrue and silly statement. It implicitly suggests you've done something right and are "reaping the rewards" of your parenting choice and they've done something wrong. On top of that what you suggested is literally not recommended anymore, but, as I said it was your self-righteousness that irked me most.

Please try and read what I'm actually saying. I told you what annoyed me initially but you chose not to adress it and pretend I was annoyed your kids weren't emotionally disregulated 😂.

Oh and FWIW I am far from crunchy and would never home school my kids. I speak to mine in French and that's about as far as any education for me goes 😂.

Look genuinely, I am glad your kids are doing well. Your initial tone and advice just came across badly.

Also, I never said kids would be emotionally disregulated at primary, think you are getting me confused with someone else. Maybe go figure who you are actually angry at.

I also breastfed to 21 months with DD1 and 13 months with DD2 when she quit. Not sure what that has to do with the price of eggs.

If you're asking for honest opinions, OP, I wouldn't do that. My almost 14 month old used to only contact nap, now he'll do pram naps as well thank goodness but I do get it's hard graft. But I used to consider the contact naps my downtime. Can't you watch Netflix on your phone, volume turned right down or with headphones? Tbh when mine was only contact napping, I only watched TV with DH after he'd gone to bed - bit extreme but I'd literally forgotten Netflix on a mobile existed 😂

Mine also has a massive playpen, maybe we have the same one. He only goes in it when I'm prepping his food, trying to cook or clean something like his highchair post-meal or the floor (I get him in and out when he's not happy or for a break). I don't think he's ever done a 30 min stretch, he was in it for more time over the day on Christmas eve and the day before his birthday while we were prepping food but he had me, DH and his uncle in the house entertaining him whenever needed. He does play in it independently and I do think that's important.

I just don't get why you need a 30-60 min break from your child first thing though. It's obv become part of your routine but that's quite a while not to be interacting with them at all, and just for watching TV. Can't you have your coffee while they play next to you? Maybe they're a bit burned out of the playpen by the time it comes to you prepping dinner, you mentioned in one of your replies quite a few other times in the day that they're in it. I would also look at outings you've chosen as quality time / a brain break no?

Screen time - I do think it's really unnecessary for a 10 month old and if you treated it like it wasn't an option, there would be a viable alternative while you make dinner. A PP suggesting playpen with the monitor on is a good one.

I found making batches of freezer food re really helpful with mine, like a batch of pasta sauce and half filling a XL silicone ice cube tray, it really cut down the time spent making dinner cos you can just prep pasta/rice/steam some veg etc

it’s your decision. But I don’t think a baby should have that much screen time. It’s not even like theyre waking up early. And just watch tv on a tablet with headphones whilst she contact naps? That’s what I always do.

Replied to wrong post!

If it helps you feel better (although I’m not sure why I triggered you so hard), I did it because eldest was a terrible sleeper. She had colic and screamed solidly for the first 12 weeks which killed my mental health, then nap time became highly regimented because if she didn’t sleep at set times of the day she was inconsolable.

She is an awesome teen, but likely neurodiverse and easily overstimulated which may explain why we needed blackout blinds, swaddle, hairdryer noise etc. but it is also true that when we cracked self soothing she has been a great sleeper. The word ‘strict’ which appears to have triggered you to the point you aren’t reading my posts through your rage cloud was on myself and my husband, not my kids. But yeah, after many many hours of standing by cots and gradually creeping out the room over weeks and months it did work. Wasn’t easy, certainly had set backs, requires huge commitment etc.

I’m sorry my kids not being emotionally disregulated by my outdated actions causes you such anger. If you are a crunchy mum who wears your kids and home schools then go you, that is fabulous for you.

We are all trying to get through this life with kids who can go out in the world and live their fabulous best lives. If I can pass on to mums to ignore the sanctimonious ‘baby experts’ following the latest fad (which will be labelled outdated and damaging in a decade from now so enjoy your righteous moment), and that there is no guilt in sleep training for your own sanity and your kid won’t be scarred for life because you stuck Peppa pig on in the background when you were knackered, then I’ll share. Here’s the thing, if you disagree that is totally cool, look away, ignore me. but you don’t need to attack me for being out of date. My kids are teens, I’m hardly parenting from the Stone Age.

If I was in this kind of relationship, yes I imagine I would find life tough 💐

Haha. I thought exactly the same about you reading your comments.
To be honest with you it was the ridiculousness of claiming that primary aged children had problems with emotional regulation if they hadn't been "left to fuss".

And then the self-righteousness of claiming you were "reaping rewards" and your children and those who had followed your methods were all thriving whilst the poor breastfed, co-sleeping babies who weren't "left to fuss" were all knackered and unable to emotionally regulate 5-10 years later.

I don't cosleep but I do breastfeed on demand and don't let her fuss so I guess it did strike a nerve because you're talking utter rubbish with some kind of authority.

Again, glad your kids are thriving but there was no need to put others down initially and the fact you think that your "sleep training" has had a positive impact years later is utter bollocks I'm sorry to say.

Exactly.

Yes, the poster searched another thread I posted on and replied negatively.

I know right haha!

Fat Face socks are great! There's some very colourful ones! You can never have too many!

I'm a mum of 6 worh a huge gap between the first 2 and the last 4. I think it's fair to say I've used a variety of approaches.

First and foremost OP, as long as you're committed to your child and I'm pretty persuaded you are, there is no one way to "correctly " do this age group. You'll look back at this age one day and it will mostly be a blur woth some vivid aspects standing out. It is a marvel to me that we women somehow adapt to little sleep and still function. It's akin to torture when you're going through it but it passes. My fourth child and first daughter was a nightmare in terms of sleep and wanted me all the time. It got quite exhausting so I bought a musical wind up mobile and created sleep rituals.
At ten months she might be transitioning to one daytime nap. I'd try and get her down at 12 or 1pm for a few hours. Create a rourine around sleep. Playtime, lunch, wash , lights dimmed in her room, wind up mobile. Sit with her and pat her back until she falls asleep for the first 3 to 5 days with the mobile on. Gradually you refuce the time you spend comforting her to fall asleep until you aren't required as a sleep cue. The musical mobile, dimmed lights and routine are her sleep cues. They will try and test the line. Keep tones soft but firm and try not to talk while you're setting the routine. It takes time, patience and consistency but it's possible. Bedtime for evening is similiar; dinner, warm bath, story. Dimmed lights, musical mobile, staged withdrawal.
Nothings perfect but the aim is manageable. My daughter is 13 now and she still absolutely loves mums hugs which I'm certainly not complaining about.

Thank you.

It's frightening, isn't it? Some lovely posters on this thread but some downright nasty comments. So sorry you've experienced this posting a reasonable and fair situation. You sound a lovely mum who is very unappreciated. Fair enough to disagree, but the nastiness....So much for solidarity. I pity them as they're clearly insecure and can't be as perfect as they make out.

As an aside, Fat Face is brilliant!

I guess I hate he is so opinionated when he has never cooked for her so hasnt come up against this but is telling me im being lazy!

what a catch

Ok so are you still very annoyed at him?

Are you and your husband still fighting about this?

No I didn't call anybody fat as I wouldn't know. Bit ironic since your post on the other thread stalking me was deleted.

It doesn’t sound as if you are doing anything wrong at all OP. Tell H to F off!
As for ‘what are you teaching her’? That downtime is fine and normal - not that she’ll even remember anyway at that age.