10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

OP I fully agree with DH here. You sound like an absolutely terrible mother.

Don't you know that from the second you wake in the morning - until the next morning - you must be staring at/playing with/entertaining your child EVERY SINGLE SECOND.

Don't you dare ever need the toilet.

I hope you don't attempt showering/self care.

Don't you dare cook the child or your DH any food. This obviously also means you can't eat yourself, now you're a parent.

Not to mention the absolute HORROR of you wanting to chill with a coffee first thing in the morning while your child is safe and under your supervision, happily playing with toys! I've never heard the like of it!!!

Once you're a parent, your ONLY reason for existence is to be with your child 24/7 and don't you forget it! Your eyes must never stray from this child!

This means you can't sleep either, that's a luxury only non-parents are afforded. You must sit and stare at your child all night until they wake.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR

This.
Your DH thinks he is your manager and is supervising you.

He's setting up a situation where you have to justify every action in your day and he gets to comment on whether it seems worthwhile to him or not.

Playpens and reins are both often very controversial for a lot of people- I’ve been a nanny for over 16 years and I’m a mum now too- the only reason we didn’t have a playpen is that we didn’t have the space, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them if the child isn’t in one all day, every day.

That said, the Ms Rachel would need to go if it was me. I don’t agree with babies watching anything regularly like that. What could have been a short phrase of fussiness while you cook with now just be x amount of time every day. Baby would have easily grown out of it if given the opportunity.

I’ll be honest, my baby was much younger when I stopped watching my own tv around her, the tv is still on in the room regardless of what’s showing on it, and I didn’t feel comfortable with that. There is no study at all that proves any benefit to a child being around a tv, only negatives. Can you not watch it when she’s gone to bed?

other than that, ignore DH, if baby is happy and playing then it’s a fab chilled start to the day for you, I have a slow start to the day too while my toddler potters and plays and independent play is a fantastic skill. You never should be entertaining them all day, he should try that!

Don’t let it get you down, you know how your whole day and week plays out, you are doing a really good job! Swimming, baby groups etc… even the supermarket is high stimulation at that age!

For me, it really depends what you're watching. Like, RHOBH? Yes. The news? Absolutely not. No baby needs to see that shitshow.

I just typed out a long post and deleted it. But in brief:

If your husband generally patronises and micromanages you like this, in all seriousness think about leaving him. I would prefer a husband who cheated, to one who thought it was his God-given right to judge and control me like this.

Also beware the scare-mongering about "screen time". You are an intelligent woman - use your judgement and the evidence of your own experience. All the outraged screeching about it stems from a mysoginistic belief that if women are permitted to use their own discretion in these matters, they will all just hand the baby an iPhone and not speak to it for the next 18 years.

And we should probably burn them as witches while we are at it! I mean, God forbid we should trust a mother's judgement and ability to weigh up risk and benefit using her own powers of reasoning....

Posters like that never have any advice. Purely here to make the OP feel like crap no matter what they have done or not done.

I think it's time your DH took a few days off from work so that he can show you how parenting is done. Obviously, with modern technology, you don't have to be in the room with him while he demonstrates his flawless parenting techniques. You could be- for example- in Ibiza.

It’s fine to have a coffee while your baby chills. What is he expecting? You ar teaching her that it’s fine to relax, that she can occupy herself, she will be playing with toys and developing that way. He is being a dick.

when I was on mat leave my DH loved to say I was lazy, looking after a baby was easy etc etc. Balked at the notion I might need a break when he finished work. And then when he became SAHP when I went back to work suddenly childcare and house work were the most challenging/tiring tasks of all time and he could never be expected to both do the washing up and also entertain an 8 month old all day.

my advice is get your DH to swap for a bit and he will soon change his tune!

I don't think you're lazy at all. The people going "you can't use screens!" are clearly not people who get worked up when they're trying to cook and a little one is wailing because they want mummy. In my house it's either strap him to my back while cooking and worry about burns, or whack on something to keep him out of trouble. He outgrew the playpen at 11 months (started hanging off the edge).

Taking time for yourself first thing sets you up for the day. I need to get back into it, but when my son was a slower eater, I used to pop him in the highchair with breakfast, and do 30 minutes of exercise. He would be watching the youtube instructor and jiggling along to club music.

Fat Face socks are great to be fair 😀

Why? Because it disagrees with your outdated parenting? News flash - no matter what you did you aren't a perfect mum and your children aren't perfect children.

No such creatures exist.

I’m wondering what harm an hour (at most) of contented, supervised, independent play is going to do to your dd?

I can see the issue if she was in their all day or if she hated it and you were sitting ignoring a distresses baby but that’s clearly not the case. She happy, she’s safe and her needs are met - what’s the issue?

Oh that’s a shame, we were waiting to hear what you did back in your day that would save this poor bay from a life of neglect 😔

Primary residence 😂

Strapped into a high chair locked into a screen. Great.
I’m done with this thread.

Because her husband is a dick and she needed a bit of support from other mums instead of being further bashed for daring to watch a bit of TV while she has a coffee in the morning.

Strapped in and not able to hurt herself in the kitchen is the safest place for her, in the same room as her mum. Ask your health visitor.

She has a massive playpen, not in the room where she cooks. Would you suggest she a) leaves her child unsupervised in another room or b) straps her into a high chair so she is safe and within sight. What on earth did you do when you were raising yours that was so bafflingly different?

also no one’s mentioned putting tik toks on for a baby. Miss Rachel singing some songs isn’t destroying anyone’s imagination.

Playpens are designed for the times when you’re cooking, or answering the door, or going to the toilet. Not as a primary residence.