10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

You cant be constantly looking at her and at the TV.

How long is she watching Ms Rachel on the phone while you cook

Big difference between 30 and 60 mins in the playpen while you watch TV in my head. I'm interested in other's responses.

The kid isn't watching TV. The kid is playing with toys. Mum is watching TV.

Yeah teaching her a calm start to the day with loving mum, that's awful, you should be locked in stocks and pelted with rotten food.🙄

Just stop, you’re doing great and there’s no need to change. It’s working for both of you. Your husband has had a very privileged introduction to parenthood where he has allowed preconceptions to become reality when in reality he will be delighted that you’ve put the foundations in to enable him to have a relatively easy life.
I don’t doubt when it’s his morning “on” that he will do the same and blame it on you conditioning the set up 🤷🏻‍♀️
right now it works so roll with it, in the next couple of months it might not and then you’ll have to figure something else out! But atm your husband should roll with the good routine that you’ve created for your family

People recommending walkers- they were banned in Canada more than 20 years because they cause so many injuries.

https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/baby-development/why-cant-i-buy-a-baby-walker-in-canada/

He's a dick. It's very different from work where you have set hours and you get to 'clock off'.

Sounds like your child is just fine. He's just being sanctimonious when it sounds liked he doesn't do the grunt work.

I'd be tempted to walk into the room when he is working and criticise what he's doing for work. I'd be saying he's being lazy and not working hard enough to earn enough money.

They're not the best for physical development. A play pen is much better.

I wouldn’t be giving a phone to watch miss rachel at that age. I was still wearing mine in the baby sling/carrier when they got fussy at that age. Is that a possibility?
I’ve always struggled to cook with a child under 2 around, so I meal prep and do a lot of slow cooker meals.
I never had a playpen with any of mine.

Can she see or hear the TV? I have 10 month old twins and I can’t imagine them ever sitting and playing happily for an hour while I chill on the sofa! One of them is crying or whining after 5-10 minutes of independent play with me in the room. It’s really good for babies to develop their focus and concentration so if your baby is doing focused, solo play for this long then that’s amazing and really good for their development. However if you have the sound on the TV and your baby can hear it in the background or your baby can see it from the playpen that obviously the opposite is true and it’s not good for them at all.

I think a playpen is a great idea - it's a safe space full of toys for her! Not a trap 😅
And it seems like she's more focused on the toys than the TV anyway.

I think we put so much pressure on ourselves regarding screen time and feel guilty when we do give it!
I have a baby and I don't go putting on screens specifically for him BUT if I want to sit with a cup of tea and he glances at the program on in the background, I don't want to feel guilty about that. I also have an older child where I might put something on to decompress after school for a bit. Again, we can't be feeling guilty if a baby also happens to look at the TV.
At the end of the day, it is about a balance. We know if we're interacting and playing, reading, going out, walking etc. I think I'm more envious that your child can independent play for up to an hour!

In all seriousness. Please don't listen to the "this is lazy/I'd NEVER have the tv on when I was with my child/I would never leave my child in a highchair for more than 60 seconds/PLAYPENS??? " brigade. Pearl clutching to the max.

There are lots of books on parenting, but there are no 2 children the same. Only you know what works for you and your DD, and that's what is important.

As long as she is fed, changed, washed, interacted with, played with, cared for and loved, you do whatever you need to do to navigate the utter insanity that is parenting.

(Within reason of course. Don't start snorting coke on a morning to give you a morning boost - stick to the coffee 😂)

Don't forget - just because you are a mother, that does not mean YOU cease to exist.

Having a bloody coffee on a morning and watching tv for a bit while you pull yourself round is absolutely fine. Self care is SO important as a mother. Making sure you are ok is the best thing you can actually do for your DD!

Your cup has to be full enough to be able to pour it into looking after DD. Empty cups are bad news for everyone.

Your DD sounds very happy, safe, and healthy, and you are doing a great job.

Enjoy your coffee, enjoy your baby, and tell DH to fucking suck it up or do it himself.

While you go and do some coke upstairs 😉

OP, cooking dinner seems to take a lot of time.

At 10 months, food for the baby is fairly simple and there are so many options out there to make this process fast.

And for you and your husband’s meals, would you both be able to compromise and agree on quick and easy meals, just for a few months, as a trial?

As I said earlier, if you engage your baby every minute of the day - medal in the post for you - for the bulk of us, it’s not realistic and no harm will come to them from learning to play independently.

We also had a huge playpen and it is brilliant for letting baby learn the art of independent play, as well as being a good space to crawl and cruise. I don't think anyone would say it was wrong for baby to be in there if you were using the time to clean or cook, so why is it wrong if you're having coffee and a chance to recharge?!

I spent lots of time in the playpen with my baby, but also sometimes took 10-15 minutes here and there to have a drink and scroll on my phone if baby was happily playing.

Don't know if you have tried it, but pram naps rescued me from contact naps - with portable white noise machine, I could get baby to sleep with 10 mins of walking then bring them back home, park pram in the hallway and get cleaning/meal prep/have some down time.

Tbh if you're having to do all the cooking etc then your husband sounds a bit useless. If hes working from home, can he either prep meals or take baby on his lunch break so you can prep them? I assume he gets up with your baby at the weekend and gives her very enriching mornings to make up for the lazy weekday ones?! 😅

"Locked in a pen"?
Children do not "need to be able to roam". They need to be safe, not exposed to dangerous or harmful items because of some idealistic notion about "freedom". If the OP is cooking food and wants her baby to be safe she isn't going to let the baby crawl around the kitchen exploring the bin, trying the dog's water or getting her fingers trapped in the door.

Baby walkers are not only unnecessary but can be actively harmful, because they restrict movement, and they are never recommended by health visitors.

Everyone operates differently, some people need time in the morning to actually wake up. I can't talk and I am dead grumpy in the morning until I have my caffeine fix 🙃 so yeah what u are doing is fine. A bit of screen time & u getting charged by relaxing and having your coffee to a good kick start to your day is far more beneficial than you being half asleep & not fully present for your daughter. Men don't understand how hard it can be and also mothers need to concentrate on themselves to give their kids the best versions of themselves. Do not worry about his comments and brush them off! Being a mother to a 10 month old can be more tiring than a full time job so u do what is best for u 💓

It’s definitely not what I would do with a baby.
And if I saw my DH (or a nanny) doing that, I wouldn’t be impressed.
It does seem lazy. Watching tv is for when the baby’s asleep.